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Priestess
02-26-06, 03:50 PM
Priestess,

Just a curiosity question if you would indulge me. By no means do you need to answer if you don’t want to. But you have said some things that spirited this question. If you had to choose both or neither sex/gender as the way you feel, which way would you go? Personally I feel there is a huge difference between the two.

Thanks Prince….ss?


Hiya Princess,

That's a umm good question, and I've needed the learning experiences of recent years in order to appreciate this. I seem to be developing a sense of self, which hopefully I may translate for you.

If this was a question such as "which sex do you choose", the answer would be simple. I must choose female, from the extigent circumstances of having a bodged-together simulated micro-genitalia and a nearly complete female reproductive system which is already functioning. Though how it got inside me in the first place is still under investigation.

But no, you're asking me for something deeper and more meaningful, so I must succomb to introspection :)

To begin, I definately do *not* feel like neither or non-(sexed/gendered). For too much of my life I suffered through being treated like a neither, almost as a non-person. In retrospect, I suppose that was probably because I unintentionally gave off a lot of mixed signals to others, which I wasn't very aware of. And in return, I was made to feel like an outcast in a world which behaved as though I was of no value to anyone. Yet I knew in my heart that I was more than this, that I possessed warmth and humanity and desires and needs. That I should be something to my future self and others. For me, neitherness was a cruel punishment.

My unpleasant memories of neitherness are relevant to the explanation of my feelings, because the fates have granted me the chance to leave it. True, a frequent remark is "holy shit she's tall", which in turn occasionally causes pronouns to run inconveniently. But they almost always correct themselves on the fly, so no great damage done. As several people have told me, they sense an aura about me which makes my imperfections easy to ignore.
Though anyhow, I thank the fates for allowing me humanity, for now people are kinder, and friendlier, and more sociable. And I thank the people for allowing me to respectfully adapt into their customs. And if I can solve the remaining obstacles, someday I may look back on this from the end result of a mostly normal me.

And my feelings of myself, my sex and gender? Mmm, well my perceptions aren't influenced by concerns over sexual orientation. I admit to having umm bisexual desires, and no conflicting religous beliefs to bring me guilt. Not to worry though, it's only selected individuals whom I find intriguing, and I'm safe to be around :) (I'm the one who needs to worry, most of the time)
I find that feel myself only female in sex, this being due to the fact that in the period since my reproductive system has been functional, my body seems to respond to my every impure thought in a decidedly female fashion. This being in comparison to times past, when I was sexless and felt that I'd been cursed with being born a eunuch.
In the final question of how I perceive my gender, at this moment in my personal evolution, I feel myself to be a odd sort of tomboy. That's alright with me, and the world doesn't seem to mind.
Perhaps a mini-parable ... If you were to raise a girl in the alaskan wilderness, out of touch with most of the cultural/gender mores which our society takes for granted. And if she then someday travelled to the big city, isn't it likely that she would be out of phase with the fashion folks and the metro crowd? Perhaps she'd like it better there, yet would in fact be a odd sort of tomboy by their standards. But that wouldn't be intentional, her mindset wouldn't be male. She'd simply be a newcomer to different ways.

That's all the stuff I can think of for right now. I hope this helps for what you were curious about. If not, maybe I can try to answer questions that are more particular :)

- Melissa

prince....ss?
02-26-06, 05:11 PM
Thank you. I really enjoyed your response to my question and I appreciate your candid openness.

I think being that I was made a eunuch at birth that I am intrigued about the sex/gender issue. Your past posts indicated that it is something you have given thought to. I do admit your response has risen more curiosity.

I am also tall, I don’t know about the holy shit scale but I stand at 6’1” and yes that does cause confusion in itself. It also draws attention at any public place so the eyes are always on me.

I don’t know if my condition is a blessing or a curse (perhaps a mixture of both) but I do know that for what I am lacking in some departments I more than make up in others. So I work with what I was dealt.

I appreciate your invitation for more questions and perhaps someday I will take you up on it. But today I am indulging in baking some bread so it’s time to punch it down and form the loaves. Warm fresh bread makes any day brighter.

Prince….ss?

Priestess
02-26-06, 05:29 PM
Mmm, sounds yummy :D My favorite has always been amadama bread. I should get my mother's old family recipe sometime. Have fun :happy45:

zenditz
02-26-06, 07:06 PM
If this was a question such as "which sex do you choose", the answer would be simple. I must choose female, from the extigent circumstances of having a bodged-together simulated micro-genitalia and a nearly complete female reproductive system which is already functioning. Though how it got inside me in the first place is still under investigation.

...

My unpleasant memories of neitherness are relevant to the explanation of my feelings, because the fates have granted me the chance to leave it.

...

And my feelings of myself, my sex and gender? Mmm, well my perceptions aren't influenced by concerns over sexual orientation. I admit to having umm bisexual desires, and no conflicting religous beliefs to bring me guilt.

...

I find that feel myself only female in sex, this being due to the fact that in the period since my reproductive system has been functional, my body seems to respond to my every impure thought in a decidedly female fashion.

...

In the final question of how I perceive my gender, at this moment in my personal evolution, I feel myself to be a odd sort of tomboy. That's alright with me, and the world doesn't seem to mind.

- Melissa

You go girl,

I'm glad your finding your sense of self. It's a hard thing for any of us to do, Intersexed or not, so I'm really happy for you that your finding your way.

A lot of your feelings seem to match mine, mostly those I've quote, cept like of course the tomboy thing, I'm actually pretty girl, but not like overly so, but my girlfriends like a total gamer girl... and like way tomboy`ish... although she's also a lot more feminine than she'd admit... and she doesn't have any Intersexed stuff, so LOL... it's a mess for everyone... isn't that great ;)

I just wanted to say that I was happy upon reading your post. It always makes me like so totally happy to hear when someone finds, and accepts them self. Mostly just cause I like know how hard it's been for me to get to where I am. It's just awesome to here someone getting to be happy with themselves... regardless of where they end up. :partysmil

*Huggles*,
Katie

CC
02-26-06, 08:29 PM
Melissa

good to see you back posting again,I hope all is well with you.

CC

Priestess
02-26-06, 11:38 PM
Thanks Katie :biggrin: It's fun just knowing there's someone who agrees with me about so much. The way you said your girlfriend is like could almost be me too, my friends say I look better than I think.

Hi Canice, it's good hearing from you too. Meh, my health is really sinking, but I'm trying to remain upbeat. Afterall, the doctors might come through before it's too late.

-- Melissa

Morgan
02-27-06, 04:47 AM
And hello from me, too Melissa :)

Hope things work out medically.

Maura
02-27-06, 10:26 AM
Thanks Katie :biggrin: It's fun just knowing there's someone who agrees with me about so much. The way you said your girlfriend is like could almost be me too, my friends say I look better than I think.

Hi Canice, it's good hearing from you too. Meh, my health is really sinking, but I'm trying to remain upbeat. Afterall, the doctors might come through before it's too late.

-- Melissa
Hi Melissa,
I'm sure you do look better than you think, after all we're always our own worst critic aren't we? Wondering if you've contacted the insurance commisioner concerning your insuror and medical coverages? My very best to you! Maura

Priestess
02-27-06, 10:51 AM
Hi Melissa,
I'm sure you do look better than you think, after all we're always our own worst critic aren't we? Wondering if you've contacted the insurance commisioner concerning your insuror and medical coverages? My very best to you! Maura

I'm waiting for the later this week, after my appointment at the specialist clinic they're referring me to. To see how that works out before I start making complaints.

Sunshine1
03-01-06, 10:45 AM
Ohhh ... Me Bad :cartman:. Because of the CAH - we are on the short "normal side" until they got better with dosing and also discovered that lupron stuff- even with that height is a cross your fingers type of thing. Anyway, I been known to make the most dumb ass comments to tall people- such as when I grow up I'd like to be as tall as you. At 5'1" they might of thought that I was an evil little elf. At one job that I had we had to wear elf hats and with my little ears, nose,and size - I really looked the part. Tall people and short people? we have the hardest time with shoes. If Dillard's ever goes out of business? I'm in trouble. There was this one nurse that called me "quite the Little medical person" because gasp ! I the crap that I am was asking asking questions. Darn Giraffe, I thought ...just answer my fucking questions. When it comes down to it? I'm jealous of tall people :bounce:I'll be much more sensitive though in general from now on. :biggrin:

Priestess
03-02-06, 12:25 AM
Ohhh ... Me Bad :cartman:. Because of the CAH - we are on the short "normal side" until they got better with dosing and also discovered that lupron stuff- even with that height is a cross your fingers type of thing. Anyway, I been known to make the most dumb ass comments to tall people- such as when I grow up I'd like to be as tall as you. At 5'1" they might of thought that I was an evil little elf. At one job that I had we had to wear elf hats and with my little ears, nose,and size - I really looked the part. Tall people and short people? we have the hardest time with shoes. If Dillard's ever goes out of business? I'm in trouble. There was this one nurse that called me "quite the Little medical person" because gasp ! I the crap that I am was asking asking questions. Darn Giraffe, I thought ...just answer my fucking questions. When it comes down to it? I'm jealous of tall people :bounce:I'll be much more sensitive though in general from now on. :biggrin:

Hi Aimee, I hope you feel better soon. It's easy to feel jealous of whatever we don't have. I used to feel really bad about being tall, I really never wanted to be so far outside average, and it took me a long time to forgive myself. Still, if I had 3 wishes I'd donate some inches to you.

But I hear what you're saying about how CAH is somewhat incongruent with being tall. And maybe I don't have it, and the endo was just checking to be safe. Or maybe I'm tall because of all the pills my parents stuffed me with when I was a kid, I can't even find out what they were. Or maybe even if I do have adrenal problems it might not be 21-hydroxylase even though that is most common. Could be 17-h, who knows? I don't, except I know it's gotten to where whatever ailment I've got is making me suffer.

Sorry, I'm not trying to argue anything. Have a good evening.

Priestess
03-02-06, 12:26 AM
(accidental duplicate post, please ignore)

Sunshine1
03-02-06, 02:04 PM
I like the bouncy ball :bounce: I am the bouncy ball.

Any conditions -it was the only way to relate the tall and short of it.

If someone has any birth glitch or not ...is searching for one? It's all good. I could go 17 alpa- hydroxylase? Soo, you got hypertension? (kidding, it ain't me) I'm not a doctor and I don't think that doctors want to be doctors anymore. It's growth plates and short stature but I do wonder how tall that lady Lisa Lee from Whales is. I don't have the 21-hydroxylase myself but rather the 11 beta- hydroxylase. Thinking a trip to Morocco is in order. The story of how it was found to be 11 and 21 shows "medicine" is always learning

I'm actually interested in the history part of medical conditions..errr how the collective knowledge comes about.

I wish you the best and props to the doc that documents it in the journals of medical history.

Priestess
03-02-06, 02:43 PM
Yes, I have had problems with my blood pressure. And usually I can keep it under control, though since that injection yesterday it's not good. High blood pressure seems to also effect my sister and many of the women on my mother's side of the family.

I should find out what is or isn't soon enough. I doubt I'll ever be a part of medical history though. I wouldn't want to end up as a footnote in some medical text.