I am here

[Misae]

My sister now tries to die. Our family has passed down a dark secret. I am lost.

[Wyn]

My sister now tries to die. Our family has passed down a dark secret. I am lost.

While I know first-hand the significant emotional and psychological trauma one deals with when discovering 'the Secret', I guess I'm at a loss as to how to respond to such a cryptic message without trying to 'guess' what you mean.

Certainly, the discovery that one has an Intersex condition is/can be extremely dibilitating and Very hard to come to terms with, especially if one is comfortable with what they believe to be their gender.

In fact, as long as one 'appears normal' (but, what is 'normal'???), there truly isn't any reason to change you attitude.. just that you may to reassess some of your priorities in life... But, Yes, such a revelation attacks the core of one's beliefs and understandings of 'who' we are. I would Never discount your feelings - or those of your sister's. But, it's impossible to truly read into your statements much more than this.

At this point, I guess I'll have to bring my own perspective into view...today was a 'good day'.... I cried only two or three times. But, I was able to lay in the sun... take in the day... do what needs doing. Yes... Still Alone after 14 years - no family that wishes to know me - just a few 'friends' who 'know', and provide an outlet when necessary. It's Never easy.

You don't mention anyone else but your sister, but it's obvious that you still have her, if not your whole family, regardless of any problems. I do hope they are able to give you the support you, or she, needs in Some manner.

This is about all I can speak to, given the lack of detail. Just the same, I do wish you, and her, all the strength you both need in surmounting this tremendously difficult understanding.

Please - know that you are Not Alone!

Peace

[Misae]

My sister has many demons. I think they come from our hidden curse. I am expected let the secret be kept because she is not strong to know the whole truth. This is wrong. To tell is wrong. Nothing is right.

[Kailana]

Misae, i just want to say that the secrets families keep tear apart a persons sense of self-acceptance. It brings feelings of shame, rejection, self-loathing.
A loss of identity, a dark secret one becomes afraid to share with others.
Keeping it all in tears down confidence.

Bad things happen when one isn't able to feel that people around them will accept who they are. Many of us have been there, and as Wyn, stated you and your sister are not alone.

Sharing that secret will take time, finding your own strengths takes years to develope. The lack of knowledge, incomplete proper diagnosis, and lack of counseling can make a person really feel like crap. Keeping everything in, only makes life harder to deal with. Everyone needs someone to share there thoughts with. To learn how to deal with being a little different then what DR.s and Psychiatrist say is norma(ie. Male-Female). Many of us are a just uniquely put together.

It will take time maybe even years to find peace of mind, acceptance, or how do i say this, "to find your own way, chose whats in your best interest, what will make you happy, how to live your life to the best of your ability".

Keeping secrets unfortunately isnt good for anyone. Finding acceptance will only come with sharing knowledge. Finding and talking to people like ourselves who from a medical/socialogical perspective who are considered not-normal( i really hate that word) from their perspective, will help you find your way.

not sure what else to say
Best wishes and please take care
Kailana Sidrandi Alaniz