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Kailana
07-10-07, 05:40 PM
this was an amazing video clip/compilation. I dont know if it has been posted before but as i was looking at PeaceandParty's clips i stumbled onto this one.
Its as good if not better then any of the Documentaries ive watched on TV

here goes:
Half Jack-by harvestorm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVi5pnCJjiU

This link should work, as i just tested to make sure. I really am not so computer know-how so i make lots of mistakes. Works though.

miriam
07-11-07, 02:00 AM
After about 15 seconds the video says: "This condition, called intersexuality, is defined as being born with ambiguous reproductive anatomies that make it difficult to determine gender (Dutton 125)." I wonder why people always think intersex equals ambiguous genitalia.

A well known medic from the UK once wrote to the AIS support group that he thinks that complete AIS is not really an intersex condition. That worries me, because this way it is easier for people (medics, parents etc.) to think that a child with an intersex condition is a medical emergency.

This kind of tear jerking publications also doesn't help us a lot because it depicts us as being freaks by nature. I don't want people to feel pity for me. I want people to know that having an intersex condition is nothing special in itself. People without an intersex condition make something special of it and that is probably the main reason why it isn't easy to be born with an intersex condition.

Groeten, Miriam

Kailana
07-11-07, 02:55 AM
i was thinking, the reason why i like it so much is that it shows alot of the stigma that many of us have had to deal with.

Like the surgeries that were done without our knowledge, the secrecy parents are told to keep hidden, and the fact that we end up finding out eventually anyways, so why are the surgeries kept from us. We all have slightly different variations on when we found out, how we found out. What i like so much is that this clip while short is dramatic enough to catch peoples attention and raise awareness. A great many of the responses were positive to the clip. I only read a few that were questionable. And a few that were ignorant, as one person put it, a family member had reassignment surgery, and this person thought it was in the best interest of the child, because he she thought it would be easier for the child to be something other then intersexed. In my opinion making someone something assigning a surgical gender, doesnt change the fact that they are intersexed. And somewhere down the road that child is going to find out what was done, and end up like most of the rest of us. Angry, Confused, and yes even ashamed of what he/she is. That last part comes as a direct result of what Dr's do to us. I think this clip gives a good impression of what some of us have had to deal with.

Miriam I do want to thank you for your comments, it is appreciated. Also your statement about whether some well known dr says about CAIS being or not being a intersexed condition is his/her opinion. Most of the rest of the medical community would disagree with that statement.

There are many conditions that make it hard to tell what someone is. And really we only find out much later in life the reasons for what we are. With CAIS, you basically have a child that looks like a girl. If there arent any other noticable problems a girl you will be. Perhaps CAIS is a little easier for some to accept a xy individual as a girl, compared to some of the other conditions due to the fact that you develope as woman. For many of us though, we arent so fortunate. As i am someone who was born with ambigous genitalia, and thought to be a girl at birth, later to be assigned a male gender through surgery. Only to grow up being told your a girl, and not how, you begin questioning what you are. only to be constantly asked over and over through all your teen years if your happy,Answer (nope) and ignored. To join the military and asked again if you had ever thought about having a sex change, and not knowing why there asking. Repeatedly being told your blood says your female, your hormones say your female, but your body says your male. Is very hard on a person. For me it just tore me down more and more. Considering that i never saw myself as a man it made it easier to chose to want to transition but it also became extremely difficult to find any help in starting/finding the right help to do so. I look at the knowledge i do have, what i have been told, So i am XY/XO -had some issues with that too, Ok so i have two complete gonadal sets - Even more issues with that. I've had to deal with alot that most would never truely understand without having to learn first hand what it is actually like, most of the people that come here do though. While each of our storys might differ a little, for most of us, the trauma of the discovery, the years not feeling right, the inability of getting all the answers when we need them, keeps us united. Why, because we are a very unique group of individuals who do understand what being different really means. This little clip in my opinion goes a long way in a little amount of time to show the world what many of us have had to cope with. That is why i like this clip so much. And just because, i think i'll keep adding it every few months just to make sure that lots of people see it. Hopefully many others will choose to comment on it as well.

prince....ss?
07-11-07, 07:32 AM
Miriam,

This is why I hate the term intersex. That term puts you and I in the same boat together and we both know your condition and my condition are completely different. This term intersex makes us connected somehow. I will keep my hermaphrodite and you all with what ever condition you have can keep the intersex nomenclature.

Perhaps Miriam you would feel differently about the video if you had more to link you to the video then just using the word intersex. I can see by your statement that you have NO compassion for freaks like me. People that were not born a girl or a boy but something different. People like me that had a committee of doctors decide what sex they were going to MAKE me. Then at 11 days old surgically REASSINE me to being female. Then to make it better my family and doctors LIED to me for 43 years never telling me the truth about my condition. (Just put a dress on IT and call it a girl!!!)

I can see by your statement that if your not AIS your not S**T!!! If you see that video depicting people like me as freaks than you are no better than the general public.

That video told my story quite well and I really liked it. Other than using the word intersex it had nothing to do with you. Statements like yours does not help people like me very much. My intersex condition is special in itself. It’s people like you that don’t see it special are the one’s so quick to put a knife to a baby and “make it right”

Prince....ss?

peaceandparty
07-11-07, 10:27 AM
please discuss further why you hate the word intersex,please people

so many women hate men in this world....its not so vice-versa

intersex -the word- and the many people that fit under that meaning
is an identification word to mean that none of us are exactly true to the description of being a total "male" and total "female"

this youtube video is a very good idea.....it cannot be a perfect video!

i think it gives off a fairly good feeling off how many people who are termed "freaks" are feeling inside and how their bodies or gender difference effects them leading a "normal" life

i have long hair and could be termed a "hippy freak"
you see there are many types of sub categories of freak
and many sub categories of intersex

this video is emotive
difficult for some intersexers to watch too

i am a hippy happy freak
not an anarchist or anti this that and the other

surely we should take the good out of the fruit and throw away the skin!
surely the halfjack video could be discussed more and be seen as a positive contribution for ITS view on certain aspects of intersex and living as one

at the very least
a video such as that is one step closer to getting to make a better video

how!miriam!would you like a video to be made then,that would suit your taste better?
what would the theme be?
if you could do a better half jack,how would you word it and would you take the freaky images out?

interesting conversation here

keep going

miriam
07-11-07, 11:39 AM
Perhaps Miriam you would feel differently about the video if you had more to link you to the video then just using the word intersex.

C'mon, you're not a shrink. You don't know how my mind works. You don't know me at all.

I can see by your statement that you have NO compassion for freaks like me

I agree Prince....ss, you really sound like a freak. But that has nothing to do with your body. :devil_smi And I do have compassion for you. I think it is possible to have a deep awareness of and sympathy for another's suffering without going through te same suffering.

Let me try to explain why I don't like this video. With this kind of 'educational' videos only a part of the intersex story is told. That's the part that tells it is terrible to be born with an intersex condition. This kind of videos will not stop parents from asking for surgery. But it will most definitely help them to ask for prenatal testing and abortion. I think the video is contra productive.

It seems to me you think that women with AIS are better off than people with some other intersex conditions. If that's true, you are wrong. You can't compare the degree of suffering. We all have different experiences and no one is better off than the other.

Sometimes it may look like it is better to be born with AIS. A girly-female body, tall, good looking, no body odor, no acne, no pubic hair, never have to shave your legs or your armpits, never menstruation problems. Hey, it's great to be wborn with AIS - the only caveat is that women with AIS are infertile.

But that just the theory. Even in reality I seem to be very successful. I've been a model, I'm smart, I have a wonderful partner, I'm the mother of two girls, I have great friends, I'm a successful business woman, I'm rather rich, I live in a single-detached home, I know how to drive a stick shift, I travel a lot, I have great friends. The only problem is that I happen to have AIS. I don't want to whine about it. But AIS sucks.

When you write "my family and doctors LIED to me for 43 years never telling me the truth about my condition" I hear what you are saying. Secrecy and shame were the main ingredients of the treatment for AIS.

Have you ever met a woman with AIS? Don't you wonder why there are almost no women with AIS in the public peer support groups like BLO? For women with AIS it is not necessary to tell other people about our intersex condition. some people think that women with AIS don't want to join peer support groups like BLO because we think that we are better than other people with an intersex condition. The truth is just the opposite: other people think we have less to complain about. From that point of view your attack on me didn't come as a complete surprise. The real reason why women with AIS are less visible is because we are 'trained' or even brainwashed by medics not to tell anyone about our condition.

Groeten, Miriam

peaceandparty
07-11-07, 03:53 PM
as much as we may or may not differ from eacother

we are both successful

with our large homes and great friends and lives

if you dont like that video

try this one out for size!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIy_dK0TaAc

i am not trying to get under your skin but equally i dont think you know me yet either

and so lets talk about the video
and lets try to help eachother have a conversation on this

i hope you are not uncomfortable or uneasy or whatever...so then please, at least realise that i want only the best for us....and i dont go around insulting people(and i am not saying you are either)

but please no comparisons to me and a shrink....lol
nothing could be as bad as they generally can be...lol

nice reply!

miriam
07-11-07, 04:30 PM
Hi P&P,

Maybe more something like this (http://www.aisnederland.nl/media/vadp.html)

Windows Media: click here (http://cgi.omroep.nl/cgi-bin/streams?/tv/avro/vingeraandepols/bb.20041201.asf)

and

Windows Media: click here (http://cgi.omroep.nl/cgi-bin/streams?/tv/eo/jong/2005-2006/bb.20060329.asf)

and

http://www.aisnederland.nl/media/RNW_20040423.html

streaming real audio: click here (http://cgi.omroep.nl/cgi-bin/streams?/rnw/specialEN/040423vh.rm)

10 MB MP3 file: click here (http://www.aisnederland.nl/media/geluid/20040423_RNW_voxhumana.mp3)

The television programs are in Dutch (sorry), the radio program is in English (or Dunglish ;) ).

Groeten, Miriam

prince....ss?
07-11-07, 04:48 PM
No, that was not a personal attack. But sorry Miriam I do know you and people just like you. Actually your written word, not the word themselves but how you use them and the picture you chose speaks louder to me then anything you could say. I read people extremely well. And from this quote of yours I don’t think I’m wrong

“Even in reality I seem to be very successful. I've been a model, I'm smart, I have a wonderful partner, I'm the mother of two girls, I have great friends, I'm a successful business woman, I'm rather rich, I live in a single-detached home, I know how to drive a stick shift, I travel a lot, I have great friends. The only problem is that I happen to have AIS. I don't want to whine about it.”

Tell me Miriam, did anyone feel the need to surgically FIX you? Were you Reassigned your sex and gender? This is what the video is about.

Sometimes I wish they aborted me at birth. That would not have hurt my feelings in the least. Everyone wants a perfect baby and some conditions of birth the baby and the family would be better off ending the pregnancy. But that is a different subject

Is infertility your biggest gripe? Cool I wish I were so lucky. At least with knowledge of your condition you eventually were allowed to make educated decisions about your health. I was not allowed that luxury. So now at 45 I am having major health problems that all stem from the decisions the surgeons made 45 years ago.

So I’m sorry the video was not about YOU! But it did address my little section of the intersex label. Once again, the term intersex is too broad of a condition label. It’s to a point of meaning nothing.

Just as a mater of fact. Rather than the intersex label, I prefer other labels such as Bitch. I pride myself on that. I work hard to earn the bitch label. My second most favorite is Freak, so thank you I’ll take that as a complement. I don’t want to be like anyone else. So I can see that you and I don’t share a lot of the same labels, so for that I am grateful.

Prince….ss?

miriam
07-11-07, 05:33 PM
@<hidden>?: good for you that you can read people so well. But it seems you have more of a problem with reading my post. You read words that I didn't write and even did not intend to write. That makes a meaningful discussion quite difficult.

Groeten, Miriam

PS. I like bitches but I've met better bitches that you are - keep practicing! :wink_smil

peaceandparty
07-11-07, 07:15 PM
hey miriam!

thats a bit nasty
"i´ve met better bitches than you are"

"keep trying"

ich denke DU kannst deutsch verstanden!dunglish or dutch i am no good at...but all you dutch and germans are great at speaking other languages correctly

bitte!please.........you come off very hot -headed
as you say i dont know you...so what are your lighter sides of life!

this is a discussion about the half-jack video and our thoughts on it


i didnt read anything extremely bad that the other wrote to you



and as i get to know your gentler side,i also remember u saying in another post that just because you "look like a woman" but have ais or whatever(sorry keep forgetting)...that people dont recognise that you are an extra special woman-----well!its the same with me

i basically look like a normal guy
but inside and outside i am another type of male...if i am to be considered male!

how do you feel about yourself miriam!?

guten abend!
good evening

peace be with you

thanks for the links

peaceandparty
07-11-07, 07:23 PM
actually the more i read this topic the more i start to see the real issues....

PLEASE IGNORE MY ABOVE POST

I DONT TAKE AWAY POSTS THAT I HAVE WRITTEN....ITS LIKE A DIARY THEN!

so we all need to maybe think about this a little more
but thank you all for the interesting conversation...but if only we could take it down a peg or two
ok!

peace ....and dont forget to party

prince....ss?
07-11-07, 08:06 PM
Miriam,

I do read your posts quite clearly and I understand what you are saying. I also am able to see thing in writing. The style, word usage and content are key to the full understanding of someone’s personality. When I see your picture and read what you post I know you have the same personality type as my sister. The two of you would get along great!!!

I am able to speak clearer than I am able to write so I think you are unable to understand what I write. I think the same way peaceandparty writes so I tend to go back and fill in the blanks. (peaceandparty, I enjoy your posts, your fun to read)

I do know that we are different from one another you have the right to your opinion as I have the right to disagree. A meaningful discussion would be quite easy but first you need to get off your defensive posture and read what I’m saying not just the words but the meaning.

As an example in the first paragraph I stated;

“When I see your picture and read what you post I know you have the same personality type as my sister. The two of you would get along great!!!”

Perhaps you and others that read this statement would take it as a complement, nice positive statement. But on the other hand if you said this to me I would instantly understand it to be a negative and know you do not like me or your sister.

So perhaps you don’t see the message you convey ( not in the words but the way you use them) or you think other people aren’t smart enough to catch all the flying insults covered and hidden in the intellect and honey.

An example from you just now, “@<hidden>….ss?” if that was a gun I would be dead. I won’t continue with the rest of your negative post.

If you are unable to understand this post PM me your phone number I will call you on my dime and explain it to you. Or give me your address and I’ll come visit and we can discuss it over coffee and cake. I recommend that you don’t underestimate my intelligence or doubt my abilities to hold meaningful discussions. If you can’t keep up with the topic or content I’ll slowdown for you. No worries!!!

Prince....ss?

Kailana
07-11-07, 10:59 PM
Miriam i respect your views greatly and love to read your posts. You are a very intelligent woman. With a very compassionate soul. That is what i like so much about you. But, the thing about this vidoe clip is about early gender reassignment/construction to force a gender with the use of surgery. You as a CAIS, Like most CAIS, arent usually subject too that attrocity as an infant. You are furtunate enough to look like, develope as woman. For many of us, we are not so fortunate. Your biggest complaint that you mentioned is being Infertile, Not to belittle you any, but many of us are infertile. Some of us are infertile as a direct result of surgeries forced on us. That is part of that video clip.

I really hate to see the ugly words that are being thrown around. We all have a point to get across. By posting this link the Half Jack, i wanted to see if others like me appreciated its value. I wanted to see a good dialogue going.

I dont want to upset people, it appears its happened though. But i really think that Half Jack, is a awesome way for people who have never scene or heard how i feel most of the time about genital reassignment surgeries on us.
Or the impact those surgeries have had on my life. I basically love that clip.

for peace and prin..cess, thank you too for responding, its appreciated as well

peaceandparty
07-11-07, 11:24 PM
we are doing our best here to go through all the emotions that any hard hitting film or video would do to many of us

its plain to see that the half jack video(which is one of my listed favourites on youtube)
has affected you ,miriam,mostly
and in a way thats good,because when any human being reacts-it sometimes is a good thing....it means we at least feel

so feel any way you want
and know that i am very interested in what you have to say

and
i am new here and i dont want to rock the boat
but essentially i dont belong on any ones boat
i swim alone

so miriam,i would love to hear your thoughts on whats happening now in your thoughts
:grouphug0

miriam
07-12-07, 04:41 AM
It's obvious that some people think that coping with AIS is easier than coping with other conditions:

With CAIS, you basically have a child that looks like a girl. If there arent any other noticable problems a girl you will be. Perhaps CAIS is a little easier for some to accept a xy individual as a girl, compared to some of the other conditions due to the fact that you develope as woman. For many of us though, we arent so fortunate.

Is infertility your biggest gripe? Cool I wish I were so lucky. At least with knowledge of your condition you eventually were allowed to make educated decisions about your health. I was not allowed that luxury.

I would like to ask those people who think that I've said that infertility is the biggest problem with AIS to re-read my posts again. And please pay some extra attention to the words I've emphasized in bold & blue:

Sometimes it may look like it is better to be born with AIS. A girly-female body, tall, good looking, no body odor, no acne, no pubic hair, never have to shave your legs or your armpits, never menstruation problems. Hey, it's great to be born with AIS - the only caveat is that women with AIS are infertile.

But that just the theory. Even in reality I seem to be very successful. I've been a model, I'm smart, I have a wonderful partner, I'm the mother of two girls, I have great friends, I'm a successful business woman, I'm rather rich, I live in a single-detached home, I know how to drive a stick shift, I travel a lot, I have great friends. The only problem is that I happen to have AIS. I don't want to whine about it. But AIS sucks.

When you write "my family and doctors LIED to me for 43 years never telling me the truth about my condition" I hear what you are saying. Secrecy and shame were the main ingredients of the treatment for AIS.

The text "the only caveat is that women with AIS are infertile." is part of the paragraph that describes how it may look to people who don't have AIS. It is not how I feel about being born with AIS.

My problem with AIS is that my family and doctors lied to me. The lied to me just like they did to Prince....ss and to so many other people with an intersex condition.

There also seems to be misunderstanding about the reason why I don't like the half jack, half jill video:

But, the thing about this vidoe clip is about early gender reassignment/construction to force a gender with the use of surgery. You as a CAIS, Like most CAIS, arent usually subject too that attrocity as an infant. You are furtunate enough to look like, develope as woman. For many of us, we are not so fortunate. Your biggest complaint that you mentioned is being Infertile, Not to belittle you any, but many of us are infertile. Some of us are infertile as a direct result of surgeries forced on us. That is part of that video clip.

Perhaps Miriam you would feel differently about the video if you had more to link you to the video then just using the word intersex. I can see by your statement that you have NO compassion for freaks like me. People that were not born a girl or a boy but something different.

I know that it is great to see a video that gives a voice to your own feelings. I know how it feels when you see a video that makes you say "Hey, that's about me!" But this doesn't mean that I'm not allowed to have an opinion about a video clip like Half Jack, Half Jill if I don't recognize myself in the story line of the video.

Let me make this very clear: except for the part where the maker of the video says that intersex equals ambiguous genitalia, I don't have a problem with the message in the video. It's the way the message is presented. As I said before, this video will not stop parents from asking for surgery. But it will most definitely help them to ask for prenatal testing and abortion.


Groeten, Miriam

peaceandparty
07-12-07, 02:26 PM
i think the video gives off the impression of how hard it is on people who were originally innocent children to be when they are some part of the intersexed community

and i personally was never trying to give you the impression that your condition was not hard for you

i can totally get you on your point of people thinking that you are just a woman
and that if you looked like you were a handicap physically or mentally more,then people would start to realise that your thoughts go very deep indeed

i have the same issues
no-one really thinks that there is any thing more to me apart from me being an unusual guy
i often wonder ,do i need to wait till i am in a wheelchair till people start to understand that with osteoporosis problems that i do have at 30-that i am an un-normal type of male or 30 year old
if i was in a wheelchair,might they take a bit more care for who i really am
instead of just presuming that they can treat me the same as everyone

i think intersexers need special attention
and the time is now---many people have waited their whole lives and unsuccessfully got through to the world s population

if you made a video on the last day of earth
and they sent the video to another galaxy...
hypothetically----what would you say in the video and what would you show?
and how would you explain human diversity?

apple
07-14-07, 02:19 PM
Hi Miriam, :)


I find there is much to like and admire about you, and I value your voice very much. No way do I take lightly, or in any way minimize in my own mind, the distress and pain inherent in being born with AIS. I get the distinct impression that you feel many of us do however.

There is a subtle, when not overt, defensiveness regarding this in your presence here Miriam. It is a defensiveness which appears to spring from an assumption on your part, that we all make unconscious "of course" comparisons between AIS women and ourselves, which automatically relegate AIS women to some sort of "lucky and less affected" status. I know that I do not have such an opinion. I do not compare myself to AIS women and feel envy, and neither do I feel that AIS women and men have it easier. I wonder if perhaps you yourself are making such an unconscious comparison Miriam, and so you feel that you must defend yourself, from those very feelings, by defending against us unnecessarily.

Really I think that AIS people may be in an even a more difficult position. For all the subtle expectations, insidiously painted upon a backdrop of the same lousy presumptions of misplaced pity, as are also unfairly placed upon us. The same wrongly issued by the emotionally blind, who determine the norm arbitrarily to the hurt of most people, who of consequence remain outside of it for the arbitrary and unrealistic narrow definition of it.

You are human Miriam, gloriously and beautifully so, and you have nothing either to defend or to defend against. You matter, your presence is essential, your contribution salient and softly helpful to make the larger picture clear, both to all of us together, and also to those outside who think they are somehow "normal" or "ideal".

Peace to you dear Miriam.

miriam
07-14-07, 03:02 PM
Hi Apple,

I gave a couple of quotes and based on those quotes I said: "It's obvious that some people think that coping with AIS is easier than coping with other conditions".

I'm sure there are many people who don't discriminate between the conditions, so your assumption that I assume anything like that is not correct. :-P

That said, I believe that we are all looking at "intersex" through our own colored glasses. That is not a problem per se. Yet, it is a problem when we think that our own experiences are more important than the experiences of the other people.

Groeten, Miriam

PS. The next 3 weeks I'll be touring France.

apple
07-14-07, 05:01 PM
I believe you just can't see it is all Miriam, and you are not about to anytime soon, and that is 'because' you have a such a well developed defense.

I hope you tour de France goes well. Maybe you will think about it while you are away. :)

peaceandparty
07-14-07, 06:51 PM
apple

that was a great post

i wish i could write like a book
a good book
like your short story

its like this
when mormons call to your door-
they try and convince you of how they see god
in fact them and me want to convince eachother of our special god
we cannot do that!
but its nice to hear how other people view us sometimes
because we can take it or leave it
miriam...i double the point on your defenses are on high alert in my opinion
but thats ok
i wish you a fabulous time...urlaub in frankreich und bis zum nächste mal
you are a lovely caring person also i see and you want to give it your all...i hope to talk with you before and after you are in france...are you on bike or are you going 5star hotelling or camping?

p.s i dont think there is yet in the world a 5 star camping area!!!lol

Kailana
07-14-07, 06:52 PM
The difficulties you and others have had i am sure have been trying. I did not mean to dismiss anything you said. Perhaps i concentrated more on the topic of being infertile, as that is what i read was your biggest concern. I am sure that many of us have a wide variation of issues for many different reasons. I am sorry if i offended anyone. And doubly sorry if any thing i said hurt or caused anyone grief.

I do appreciate everyone comments all the same. This topic/discussion from my point of view is a good one. I hope others, all the guests come to understand that many of the things we say, some will agree with, and some will not, Some of the things may get disputed back and forth, and some get tossed out, although that is extremely rare. We as a group are a diverse collection of very unique people. Many people i think who are looking for answers can benefit from the collection of knowledge and experience from those shared at BLO.

Lastly, have a great trip, a 3 week get away anywhere would i hope be quite enjoyable, and be safe.

peaceandparty
07-14-07, 07:08 PM
i completely understand you gettiung frustrated
the use of words was not ama-----zing
for lucky mom
but you are a great person full of compassion ,you are just like me though probably in having to deal with angry outbursts ...when things get a little too emotional!

i am with you

JOS
07-14-07, 10:37 PM
I thought Miriam was just trying to say that if people could see intersexuality as a perfectly natural phenomomen then maybe they'd stop trying to 'cure' it. And that, if allowed to make their own decisions, there is no reason intersexuals can't be happy, successful, well-balanced individuals.
It's a pretty good point too that doctors and parents seem to obsess with what they can see, causing them to make unnecessarily hasty decisions.
Secrets and mis-information can be quite damaging even to us CAIS people. Hence why I had to explain to my in-laws that I have testicular cancer but no I didn't trick their son into marrying a man and yes it came as a bit of a shock to me too.
I hope I am not coming across as provocative, I'm just trying to give you an insight into my thought processes. Sometimes it helps to look from a different perspective.
P.S. just for the record I actually thought the video was quite clever

JOS
07-17-07, 06:13 PM
when I first came to Blo I didn't even know much about my own IS/DSD let alone that there were so many others. But I must admit that I was put off posting after I read a few comments in other threads which seemed to suggest that if you had CAIS you had it easy.... someone even wrote that they wished they were a CAIS girl.... maybe I'm paranoid and overly sensitive... ok I am paranoid and overly sensitive. Maybe some do have more to deal with than others but in a minority group it seems a bit strange to alienate a potential ally who's just trying to bring a different view to keep things balanced.

Kailana
07-17-07, 10:00 PM
Jos, Miriam, i want to say that i am sorry, that part there about someone posting where they would prefer to be CAIS rather xy/xo, that was probably me. I had intended for that comment to reflect how i believe i would be a great deal happier as i Identify as a female. But with a body(phenotype) of male, most people only see me as a man. I didnt mean to hint or conclude that CAIS was any easier to cope with. Or that it or any other condition was easier on the Psyche then the one, or several that i have. Each has its up and downs. In a way i suppose if I had Identified as a man, then my condition would suit me just fine. In a way, that thought, the miscommunication on my end, has offended several people, i had not intended it to do so. Now then i am sure this post will upset someone too, ill apologies again. that was not my intent. In a way, this thinking on my end, does fit the normal stereotypical thought of MTF, FTM, you know, wanting to look like the gender that you think of yourself as would seem to be easier but it can also have its own pitfalls, without knowing what it is actually like, I or others can misquote or miscomprehend what is actually being said. Thank you Jos for mentioning what you thought about the clip, and your comment too.

I'll try to not make such a huge guffaw, mistake, my apologies again.

JOS
07-18-07, 02:10 PM
Thank you Kailana, you are truely a caring person.:rose:

I really wasn't pointing the finger at anyone specific, I just like that this site represents a diverse range of people and hopefully that won't change.

I admire the way people here speak their minds and I guess I need to become less guarded. It's just hard to know who you can trust when your foundations have been shaken.

Kailana
07-19-07, 12:05 AM
Trust takes time to build. Many people forget that. Coming to a strange new place and meeting all the varied individual's that inhabit this place can be overwhelming. All of our histories and many of our views may sound contradictory too at times, but overall, we are a very caring supportive, open minded bunch of people. Never fear for being well the odd one out, cause we all are at different times, that goes for each and every human being on the planet. We really are not all that different from any one else. Our experiences might vary, and our lifes might be a little hectic, but we still have the ability to care for one another.

Thanks again for your posts everyone

Danielle Lavendur
07-20-07, 12:34 PM
You all have your points. Wish we could ditch the labels all together!

peaceandparty
07-21-07, 04:34 PM
yeah labels are totally bringing us all down

everyone in the world when they get labelled incorrectly feels down in the dumps

so .....people!

i am enjoying being here and being allowed speak MY mind
things are getting me down a little these days because mostly of the whacky people out there and the people that are not very good communicators
i cant wait to get back on testosterone
because then i can handle the crap better but if you see my videos-please comment because i need your help in figuring all these things out

Marianne
09-18-07, 08:39 PM
It's interesting how someone would say CAIS is not considered intersex...as we are born with testes....and xy chromosomes

Kailana
09-19-07, 01:27 AM
CAIS is a form of intersexuality, its just not a form of what is called true hermaphroditism , where both testes and ovaries are present in the same body, medically, a CAIS woman is a psuedohermaphrodyte, but that doesnt reallly mean a damn thing, its just a label, you are who you are, because thats who you are. i wouldnt be surprised at all to find or hear about a CAIS man, who absolutely refuses to be associated with or as a woman, we are all unique, and nothing would surprise me at all when it comes down to the individual.