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View Full Version : The update to the Question, "Am I truly Intersexed?"


PAISWoman
08-28-08, 08:32 AM
I have too.

Technically anyone who has a diagnosed intersexed condition, is to never be identified or qualify to meet a transsexual diagnosis. The intersexed condition overrules, a TS diagnosis. Now those Guidelines for meeting a TS diagnosis are very old, but they were meant to be used for clearly biological men or women who felt they were in the wrong body. <---the simple version. Now having an intersexed condition, could also be used to explain having a Gender Identity Disorder, but when that was used it was also called having a Gender Identity Disorder due to an Intersexed Condition, and those patients were still labelled as Intersexed and not as Transsexual, the Transsexual diagnosis was never meant to be used on anyone who has an Intersexed condition. Should a intersexed person choose to Reasign there Gender to the gender appropriate to them, or if a doctor or parent chose to have a child's gender changed, the surgery was reffered to as Gender Reasignment Surgery (GRS), that terminology only applied to the intersexed, and what ever surgery to assign the gender of a child, or person was legally recognised as that persons official legal gender, and that was all medically found to be socially acceptable, final word of law. you were a boy or girl, if that is what the doctors assigned you as.

The issue about whether a person is Trans or IS, was never to be used together. Legally, a person who is IS is whatever the final Gender is assigned as, unfortunately, for the TS, there was no corresponding acceptance for a sex reassigned adult, and many states have chosen to not recognise there final gender as legally binding. this is also currently changing, people are trying to get gender status protected, recognised, itll be a few more years i think before all states get with the program.

Stilll though all in all, If a person has an intersexed condition, then they are and will always be intersexed, and are not Transsexual.

Finally I have my answer. I may have asked my question wrong in the post that I started which led to a very heated debate. Nevertheless, Kailana answered the question I had in my head since joining this site for support.

I initally said that I felt like I was both and that what confused me the most was I had a hard time understanding where I fit in. It didn't help any as I searched the internet looking for others and information on intersexed people who identify as being intersexed and transgendered.

Being called a fake and a fraud only made things more complicated as I try to find out how I fit into society as a person with partial AIS grade 1. Here I am being rejected by the intersexed community and being rejected by the transexual community brings back memories of my childhood as I was rejected by both male and female classmate. The I made friends was through sex. That's a different topic that I don't want to talk about in open forum.

But anyway, Having friends that are non-intersexed and non-transsexual slowed my own development because I felt I could not talk about what was happening to me. My so called best friend clearly told me she didn't want to talk about intersexed issues, nor did she believe me eventhough she was there at the doctors office when I was diagnosed. To her, I was just me. When I tried to tell her how wonderful it felt to findly have an answer to why my body was the way it was, not my mind, she just didn't want to hear it. I showed her the paper work the doctor gave me. She read it. She has the same medical science degree I have and she going to nursing school now. So, I had trust that she understood what was being said in the paper work. She gave me my paper work back and told me that it didn't matter, I was just me to her.

A few years later, I went to visit another good friend, she is transexual. I didn't bring my paper work nor do I believe that if I did she would understand what's being said in the paper work. However, when I try to talk about being intersexed we get into a big debate about how she feels that I think that I'm better than her because I have an intersexed condition. So, I've learned never to bring the topic up with her. But, there are certain issues that I've noticed are very common with transexual women which I can't relate too. There are issues that I go through which she can't relate too. So when she talks about those issues I try my best to listen to her and be supportive as much as I can.

Anyways, Thanks Kailana, I'm starting to find myself regardless if anyone thinks I'm a fraud or a fake. This comment really has helped answer a burning question in my mind.

JOS
08-28-08, 06:43 PM
According to the way you wrote your post it seems like you were dissapointed with your...

so called best friend

and yet you also said

She gave me my paper work back and told me that it didn't matter, I was just me to her.

NOW call me crazy... but that's called total ACCEPTENCE of who YOU are, no matter what.

your post makes me think you took it as a dismissal of this massive issue??

but maybe you should try to put yourself in your friends position for a second. Their best friend has told them something which has caught them off guard... a bit like when someone tells you about... ummm... I don't know... a death or something.... what do you say??... you want to show them you love them but you're emotionally disabled for the moment

and what did your friend say

:grin: [She] told me that it didn't matter, I was just me to her.:grin:

NOT

(hyperthetical quote marks) "So what... you're still JUST you, you nut-bar"

OK tell me if I've misunderstood and actually you meant that your friend was all good about it?

but I guess my point still stands... everything can be taken in a number of different ways depending on the view of the hearer. For instance, I could feel quite hurt (actually I do a little bit:cry_smile :boohoo: :sign16: ) by your comment of

Here I am being rejected by the intersexed community

So according to you, either I also rejected you.... OR you don't consider me (and others) part of this new community you're joining?

Please don't take my thoughts as mean and rejecting... I'm just trying to get you to see that communication is a TWO-WAY thing!! If you're feeling rejected or insulted perhaps try to open up a bit and tell the person how you've interpreted their comment as a bad thing?

I'm not trying to start a heated debate and I'm genuinely pleased you're feeling more comfortable within your own way of seeing yourself.... and infact my comment (I know uninvited) goes for myself and others here too and not just you!

smiles n shrugs (already used WAY too many smilies in this post)
Jos

fraulein_Maria
08-29-08, 12:41 AM
[QUOTE=PAISWoman;16045]Finally I have my answer.


>>> actually, you had it alot sooner. :) Kailana was just more articulate. I'm sorry that you required someone to crack open a DSM-IV... but you could have done that yourself. <<<

Here I am being rejected by the intersexed community

>>> i did not notice you getting kicked from this site. I didn't even notice anyone threatening, warning, or asking for it. And the IS community is bigger than BLO... BLO just has the distinction of being founded and run by actual IS people ;)

this site is however, the most welcoming of them all. Scarey isn't it ;)

If you were to go to a CAH site, you'd discover that there all run by PARENTS... no one who actually has CAH is welcome, unless they proclaim loudly how glad they are to have had there clits chopped off.

Don't know from personal experience, but i hear they have the same problem at Klinefelter's sites. You don't male identify? Your outta there!

The AIS club, for all its faults, is run by and for AIS'ers... so long as you can prove it to there satisfaction.

Did you see what i just typed?

You can have CAH, and be able to prove it... and STILL not be welcome at CAH sites.

You can have Klinefelter's, and be able to prove it... and STILL not be welcome at Klinefelter's sites.

But you are welcome here. We do not demand proof of your condition. The only reason we get upset with 'posers is because they trample us. Why should we put up with that? What kind of masochists would we be if we did?

Am i male phobic if one barges into my house, eats my food, drinks my wine, and claims (falsely) a kinship with me? Will his claim that "i'm just jealous, and think i'm better than him" fly with the cops when i call them?

So why are we called transphobic, when they barge into our cyber home, use up our emotion, and insult our intelligence?

We recognize that we were assigned at birth, occassionally misassigned, and that some of us seek reassignment. No one here damns anyone for doing so. I'm sure if i proclaimed that i really should have been made a man, that i'd get support for that from those here.... and that support would include all the reasons not to do such a dumb-ass thing ;)

Anyway, i hope you'll stay. I've been called every name in the book (and some have invented new words... oh the creativity we display! lol.) and i'm still here, because its no different than my family in that respect (yes, i have family members who'll say i'm full of it, lol.) and its partly how i know i'm really home.....

HOME... its where the insults are gratuitous, but you can't beat the free tasty lasangna. :)

apple
08-31-08, 11:47 AM
[QUOTE=PAISWoman;16045]Finally I have my answer.


>>> actually, you had it alot sooner. :) Kailana was just more articulate. I'm sorry that you required someone to crack open a DSM-IV... but you could have done that yourself. <<<

Here I am being rejected by the intersexed community

>>> i did not notice you getting kicked from this site. I didn't even notice anyone threatening, warning, or asking for it. And the IS community is bigger than BLO... BLO just has the distinction of being founded and run by actual IS people ;)

this site is however, the most welcoming of them all. Scarey isn't it ;)

If you were to go to a CAH site, you'd discover that there all run by PARENTS... no one who actually has CAH is welcome, unless they proclaim loudly how glad they are to have had there clits chopped off.

Don't know from personal experience, but i hear they have the same problem at Klinefelter's sites. You don't male identify? Your outta there!

The AIS club, for all its faults, is run by and for AIS'ers... so long as you can prove it to there satisfaction.

Did you see what i just typed?

You can have CAH, and be able to prove it... and STILL not be welcome at CAH sites.

You can have Klinefelter's, and be able to prove it... and STILL not be welcome at Klinefelter's sites.

But you are welcome here. We do not demand proof of your condition. The only reason we get upset with 'posers is because they trample us. Why should we put up with that? What kind of masochists would we be if we did?

Am i male phobic if one barges into my house, eats my food, drinks my wine, and claims (falsely) a kinship with me? Will his claim that "i'm just jealous, and think i'm better than him" fly with the cops when i call them?

So why are we called transphobic, when they barge into our cyber home, use up our emotion, and insult our intelligence?

We recognize that we were assigned at birth, occassionally misassigned, and that some of us seek reassignment. No one here damns anyone for doing so. I'm sure if i proclaimed that i really should have been made a man, that i'd get support for that from those here.... and that support would include all the reasons not to do such a dumb-ass thing ;)

Anyway, i hope you'll stay. I've been called every name in the book (and some have invented new words... oh the creativity we display! lol.) and i'm still here, because its no different than my family in that respect (yes, i have family members who'll say i'm full of it, lol.) and its partly how i know i'm really home.....

HOME... its where the insults are gratuitous, but you can't beat the free tasty lasangna. :)



Very well said imo.


I think you would make a great mod fraulein_Maria . I don't agree with you about every little thing, but I too have noticed the balance in both your behavior and your perspective.

fraulein_Maria
08-31-08, 01:42 PM
[QUOTE=apple;16118][QUOTE=fraulein_Maria;16056]

Very well said imo.

I think you would make a great mod fraulein_Maria .

>>> thanks apple, i appreciate it. i remember how you took rycharde under your wing, and i was always thankful for it, though i was busy with my own shite at the time. Us CAH gals (whether or not we become guys) have so many worries, not the least of which is how to cope with it all while PREGNANT. If our brains are hormone soup before, how much more so with all the HCG thrown into the mix? But you reached the good man he wanted to be. :) i'm sure there is now a happy healthy child in canada. <<<

I don't agree with you about every little thing

>>> if you did, i'd accuse you of not thinking. ;) <<<

but I too have noticed the balance in both your behavior and your perspective.

I does my best. This side of the kingdomn and seeing through a glass darkly, that's all i can do.

apple
08-31-08, 02:38 PM
[QUOTE=apple;16118][QUOTE=fraulein_Maria;16056]

Very well said imo.

I think you would make a great mod fraulein_Maria .

>>> thanks apple, i appreciate it. i remember how you took rycharde under your wing, and i was always thankful for it, though i was busy with my own shite at the time. Us CAH gals (whether or not we become guys) have so many worries, not the least of which is how to cope with it all while PREGNANT. If our brains are hormone soup before, how much more so with all the HCG thrown into the mix? But you reached the good man he wanted to be. :) i'm sure there is now a happy healthy child in canada. <<<

I don't agree with you about every little thing

>>> if you did, i'd accuse you of not thinking. ;) <<<

but I too have noticed the balance in both your behavior and your perspective.

I does my best. This side of the kingdomn and seeing through a glass darkly, that's all i can do.


wow!

I just realized that you are pregnant! Congratulations! Looking back from here, I am now glad that I was unable to conceive, though at one time I had really wished that I could.

I wish you all the best with your pregnancy maria. :heart:

Gotta run now. I may stop by again.

fraulein_Maria
08-31-08, 04:26 PM
[QUOTE=apple;16123]

I just realized that you are pregnant!

>> ROFLMAO!!! wish i was, but no, it was RYCHARDE who was pregger's. strange world we live in but it is possible for a XX someone to become unexpectedly pregnant even while they are "transitioning" FtM. Even more possible if there CAH. BC pills make undxed CAH's pregnant because for the first time in our lives we not merely ovulate, our uterous actually builds up a lining! <<<

Looking back from here, I am now glad that I was unable to conceive, though at one time I had really wished that I could.

>>> i'm sorry to hear that, but glad your at peace with it. The only thing preventing a pregnancy with me is a willing partener... I won't be a single parent on purpose. My clock is winding down though..... soon, or never. <<<

apple
09-05-08, 06:42 AM
oops!

Thanks for being so nice Maria. I rarely come here anymore. I think I have been here maybe ten times in the last year. I just can't think of anything to say anymore.

I have to go now.

See you again someday maybe.