A preference that makes no sense.

[OffsetMindset]

I might need help trying to figure this one out...I'm just female, and am not attracted to the same gender. For some reason though, I've always preferred people that had more than one gender, especially those that are both male and female.

That's what confuses me though. If I'm not interested in women than why be so infatuated with people that are half-way female? I don't dislike the feminine part of them, nor do I favor the male part better; and I just can't figure it out!

My friend that is intersexed and she says I'm acting like a closet-case lesbian, but her husband disagrees saying that it's something else but he keeps telling me it's something I've got to realize on my own.

I've tried to figure this out since I was 12 years old, and whatever he says that I'm supposed to realize has donned on me yet, and here I am ay the age of 20, just dumbfounded.

Can anbody give me a hint as to what this realization is that he's refusing to let me in on?

Thanks for any help!



--Mel

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=OffsetMindset;16601] those that are both male and female.

>>> your do realize that most IS people are unambiguous in there appearance? <<<

half-way female?

>>> i don't know anyone here who thinks of themselves that way. Even an androgenous woman like myself considers herself fully female. <<<

My friend that is intersexed and she says I'm acting like a closet-case lesbian, but her husband disagrees saying that it's something else but he keeps telling me it's something I've got to realize on my own.

>>> unless she's a lesbian herself or councils lesbians, i seriously doubt she knows what she's talking about.... and her husband sounds even more full of shit, and is just messing with your head. <<<


Can anbody give me a hint

>>> that would require getting into your head.

But so far, your ideas about us are more in line with transexualism than IS'ers. As much as many of them claim to be IS, the vast majority are not. In fact, the insidence of transexualism (barring a mis-assignment) in IS'ers is about the same as it is in the general population..... very low.

[EMW]

First - THANK YOU Maria for your post, saved me from having to.

Second - Mel, you are looking for those phony-baloney he-she's, she-males, etc... that have both a penis and a vagina shown in porno's -- we are not them.

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=EMW;16604]

that have both a penis and a vagina shown in porno's -- we are not them.

>>> they are almost always "norm-born" XY men .....

the XX women born like that have had there phallus chopped off in infancy.....

the ones born prior to 1950's either had the surgery in childhood, or in the exceedingly rare instance it wasn't done at all:

were either assigned male and had there vagina sewed up,

or lived there lives in silence. they would not be caught dead in a room naked with the light on with even there spouses..... much less be porn stars.

[Kailana]

Because I am one of the few people here, who is an inbetween, I have a preference for female, but that is my personal choice. I claim female, because I can. I really do feel that doctors/family pushed and pushed the male assignment to the point that it broke the male in me. I wouldn't call myself an ideal woman, nor a ideal male, as I have never been one or the other.

I have some similarities thoughts that could be construed as being very TS'ish but I am and will always be intersexed. It sort of annoys me that people jumped too the "she-male/porno" crap. you know, it could just be that OffsetMind, is more interested in man that has a very feminine side to him, as she does say, she isn't really interested in women. I do not think it is approptiate for any of us to assume she is looking for a particular kind of person.

I would think that someone who asks an honest question, would at least get responses that were appropriate rather then get bashed because they do not know exactly what it is they are asking.

Give Mel a break, shes looking for answers, and needs descent appropriate answers. Not a bunch of harsh criticism or cruel made comments meant to demean her.

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=Kailana;16631]


Give Mel a break

>>> no one told her to jump in a lake, and we would have if that's what either of us meant.

I told her i'm interested in seeing her stuff....

even though she's said things that indicate she's got the wrong idea about us.

so i, and EMW, just gave her the facts. <<<

[JOS]

Do you happen to know which intersex condition your friend has... if you don't mind my asking?

IMO, your friends husband is a little unkind to leave you dangling like that... since you say you've been troubled by this for many years, one would have thought he could show a little more sensitivity towards you?

[OffsetMindset]

I don't honestly know what I said wrong, I tried described it the best way I could, but I'm not talking about liking transexuals, the porn fictions or anything like that.

I meant IS and know there is a difference, but I was including examples of hermaphrodites as well as others; You've got to understand, I love art, and seeing Roman art of hermaphrodites was what got me started and I find it very attractive, along with intersex.

I know those assumptions on the net are crap, my friend has shown herself for God's sake.

[melonade]

I have some similarities thoughts that could be construed as being very TS'ish but I am and will always be intersexed. It sort of annoys me that people jumped too the "she-male/porno" crap. you know, it could just be that OffsetMind, is more interested in man that has a very feminine side to him, as she does say, she isn't really interested in women. I do not think it is approptiate for any of us to assume she is looking for a particular kind of person.

I would think that someone who asks an honest question, would at least get responses that were appropriate rather then get bashed because they do not know exactly what it is they are asking.

Give Mel a break, shes looking for answers, and needs descent appropriate answers. Not a bunch of harsh criticism or cruel made comments meant to demean her.

She said her art and stories were considered offensive. Perhaps it is easy assume that she meant pornographic. She could counter that or confirm it by letting people see and read her work.

Was it an honest question to ask? She said she is attracted to the sort of obviously visible hermaphrodites which don't exist in the real world. Then she asks other people to explain to her why she is so attracted, but that question is just as impossible to answer as the question of anybody's attractions. Has that ever been explained, besides that attractions just are? When does an honest question ask something which has never been answered for anyone?

[OffsetMindset]

Do you happen to know which intersex condition your friend has... if you don't mind my asking?

IMO, your friends husband is a little unkind to leave you dangling like that... since you say you've been troubled by this for many years, one would have thought he could show a little more sensitivity towards you?

She's got AIS. As for her husband, he's always been one to play games. I'm used to that by now.

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=JOS;16638]Do you happen to know which intersex condition your friend has... if you don't mind my asking?

IMO, your friends husband is a little unkind to leave you dangling like that... since you say you've been troubled by this for many years, one would have thought he could show a little more sensitivity towards you?

>>> he's messing with her head. i've seen guys say shite like that all the time....

sometimes, you get an earful when the guys treat you like one of them ;)

I'd also be interested in in your friend's IS condition.

CAH is most common, AIS after that, then klinefelter's, then mrkh.

half of all CAH's are unambiguous men (well endowed usually ;) Us CAH gals fixed in infancy ( well enough to fool a male gyn ) AIS'ers are unambiguous XY females, and Klinefelter's (XXY's) usually present unambiguously as men. MRKH's are unambiguously female... just missing a vagina.

We all have a few health problems related to our conditions, the most common of which is lack of cortisol (CAH's) lack of estrogen (AIS'ers) either test. or estro for klinefelter's, and urinary problems with MRkH's and just about the rest of us.

[JOS]

you also made a couple of odd phrases... just wondering what you mean

I've always preferred people that had more than one gender, especially those that are both male and female.


and in your other thread:

I'm not intersexed, nor am I third-sexed

sorry I can be a bit behind all the others here sometimes... still comparitively new to all this :interesti

[OffsetMindset]

I just explained what it is I'm asking; I'm not talking all of the bullcrap that is regularly assumed, what's there to explain? I'm talking about the gender identites and such for intersexed, not the physicalities.
And for hermaphrodites, I've already explained that attraction.
Yes, attractions to physical subjects are there, but for crying out loud, I'm not that shallow to base it all on looks.

[OffsetMindset]

Also, as I stated before, my friend TK has AIS

[JOS]

sorry if it seemed that way... if I don't understand something... isn't it best to ask??

I just explained what it is I'm asking; I'm not talking all of the bullcrap that is regularly assumed, what's there to explain? I'm talking about the gender identites and such for intersexed, not the physicalities.
And for hermaphrodites, I've already explained that attraction.
Yes, attractions to physical subjects are there, but for crying out loud, I'm not that shallow to base it all on looks.

... i was just wondering what the third sex was... that wasn't covered by intersex... and what you meant by more than one that wasn't male and female.... what female and female..... sorry, I just didn't get it that's all!

plus, remember, we could be writing responses at the same time as each other!

oh and also.... you do realise we are all here for support too don't you?

[OffsetMindset]

sorry if it seemed that way... if I don't understand something... isn't it best to ask??



... i was just wondering what the third sex was... that wasn't covered by intersex... and what you meant by more than one that wasn't male and female.... what female and female..... sorry, I just didn't get it that's all!

plus, remember, we could be writing responses at the same time as each other!

oh and also.... you do realise we are all here for support too don't you?

Sorry for biting back; I just have seen the first replies to this topic and I kind of lost my head when it was suggested that I take reference from porn, I apologize, that wasn't anything against anyone personally, I was just frantic to make it clear that I'm not in this for the sexual ends of it all. I'm talking about a sincere attraction.

As for third-sex cases, articles I have read of before describe it as development of organs that have the basis to be reproductive, but it resembles nothing of male, female, or a combination of the two.
That's what I'm meant by third-sexed.

[JOS]

gotta any links for that??

... and they're not just under developed or arrested development of the fe/male ones?

oh and could it be that your friends hubby might just feel a little threatened?... he holds the object of your desire (.... by desire I mean sincere attraction) after all

perhaps he thinks you have a crush on your friend??.... probably not but that's what occurred to me!

so what is it that you find so appealing... I get the feeling I'm not alone when I say I have generally felt less than an appealing option through most of my life... secrecy often goes hand in hand with shame. So what's the attraction if not sexual

(There I go again fishing for compliments LOL) :ARMS1:

[melonade]

Sorry for biting back; I just have seen the first replies to this topic and I kind of lost my head when it was suggested that I take reference from porn, I apologize, that wasn't anything against anyone personally, I was just frantic to make it clear that I'm not in this for the sexual ends of it all. I'm talking about a sincere attraction.


If as you said, your work is considered offensive. And if your work isn't sexual at all. Then what reasons were given for why they considered it offensive?

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=melonade;16663]If as you said, your work is considered offensive. And if your work isn't sexual at all. Then what reasons were given for why they considered it offensive?

>>> we're just as curious about you... as you are about us, offset. :) we're giving you the chance to explain....

we don't always do that..... :twisted: LOL <<<

[Anis789]

Hi Mel

Welcome, wow your art work sounds intresting I'd love to see it.
I agree nobody but you can decided what you are attracted to, Intersex people are mentioned in Relgious texts.

I myself am starting to feel attracted to fellow intersex people - we are only human n attraction, love etc is for all so I beleive.

I hope you find the answer(s) your looking for. I tried sending you a private nessage as i am not the greatest poster going but am spontanious in my posts, take care n all the best

Anis x

[OffsetMindset]

gotta any links for that??

... and they're not just under developed or arrested development of the fe/male ones?

oh and could it be that your friends hubby might just feel a little threatened?... he holds the object of your desire (.... by desire I mean sincere attraction) after all

perhaps he thinks you have a crush on your friend??.... probably not but that's what occurred to me!

so what is it that you find so appealing... I get the feeling I'm not alone when I say I have generally felt less than an appealing option through most of my life... secrecy often goes hand in hand with shame. So what's the attraction if not sexual

(There I go again fishing for compliments LOL) :ARMS1:

I don't have links, these were from the local library, but they specifically mentioned that the organs weren't under developed from what could be seen.
Then again, since it has no distinct features of male/female organs, they can't readily be sure if the organs are or aren't. The fact that they are unidentifiable and seem to be new mutations of reproductive organs put them in catagories of their own and according to the article there are only a couple known cases, every case has had to surgical removal.
The status of cases is dated, so I have no clue how many have been found nowadays.
Not much was was said about the subject, for the bits that were, they were detailed.
'A Third sex' is how they described it; it has come to my attention though that some people use third sex also as a kind of umbrella-term for many different types of genders, but it's not the most popular.

Give me some time to find it again, odds are, if the library is a good library it will still be there.

--

TK's husband was jealous when they were still dating, but TK made it clear who she loved when they got married, and soon after I lost interests outside of friends with her.

--

The attractions come from really only a few examples of IS people I've met, TK being the only one I know face-to-face. The overall views are an attraction, the four I've had contacts with (including TK) are either accepting and curious of a lot of different things, or have no trouble exprssing strong opinions; whereas most of the male or female friends I have just clam up or get downright apathetic when I conversate with them.

Physical features are just subtle things that stand out in my mind not in a sexual manner, but just visual appeal...you know, like something random you spot and you just can't take your eyes off of it. Jawlines are a good example, hands too. Something about those things on intersexed people and other genders besides the typical stand out and look better.

If as you said, your work is considered offensive. And if your work isn't sexual at all. Then what reasons were given for why they considered it offensive?

I draw in artistic nude; that in itself isn't sexual in content, but a lot of distasteful people play it off to be. It's disgusting how people disregard the art in it and go straight for the out-of-context perversness.
Like it was suggested, fundimetalist folks in my home town just don't understand; half of them to this day believe I was hopped-up on drugs to 'imagine' people like this. Others say they don't want to see 'crap' like that.
For the people that don't buy it; when I show them proof from references, they pull out the bullcrap that everything on the net is photoshopped and not real.
I fight (verbally and physically) with these hicks on a regular basis.

Hi Mel

Welcome, wow your art work sounds intresting I'd love to see it.
I agree nobody but you can decided what you are attracted to, Intersex people are mentioned in Relgious texts.

I myself am starting to feel attracted to fellow intersex people - we are only human n attraction, love etc is for all so I beleive.

I hope you find the answer(s) your looking for. I tried sending you a private nessage as i am not the greatest poster going but am spontanious in my posts, take care n all the best

Anis x

A couple of more days, my college will open back up from summer break and I'll be able to get my hands on a scanner; I'll post them up then.

Unlike my neighbors, my professors love my work.

[EMW]

Physical features are just subtle things that stand out in my mind not in a sexual manner, but just visual appeal...you know, like something random you spot and you just can't take your eyes off of it. Jawlines are a good example, hands too. Something about those things on intersexed people and other genders besides the typical stand out and look better.

Just understand that you are making some very broad generalizations. Personally I have a very feminine jaw line and tiny hands. We all look different, just like anyone else.

Emily

[OffsetMindset]

Yeah, that's a given, but feminine, masculine, or otherwise features like that on IS and others just seem better than they do with a regular male.

It doesn't seem to just be because of your genders either; I almost fell head over heels for TK before I ever knew about her AIS.

[Anis789]

EMW like your profile pic it's Ace n cute

Take care