Graeme Stephen Tucker 47XXY

[roguekiwixxy]

Edited from my XXYTALK membership bio page, so if you're from XXYTALK it's essentially the same as that.


Hello all you wonderful XXY's and variants, lurkers and partakers of BLO, the absolute best forum for Intersex persons I have ever seen, it's even better than the XXYLIST I started back in 2000, or something like that.

I was diagnosed as member of this unique society back in 1976 when I was, (maths is a bad topic for me, so 1976 minus 1958 = wot? I dunno, let me work it out, whre's my pen, who stole it! http://www.xxytalk.com/fusionbb/images/smilies/lol.gif)
That makes me 18, I always thought I was 16, wow you learn something new every day!

Maybe I was 17 as it was early in the year and I'd just left school to work in a factory, the Ford Motor Company, at Petone, near Wellington, New Zealands so-called 'capital' city.

Now come to think of it I was working for a year before that job interview at General Motors at Trentham, so I would have been between 17 and 18.

Anyway, the doctor I saw knew instantly he had another XXY, he was one of the few doctors who actually went looking for us as his wife was a Geneticist at Wellington Hospital, he knew what body shape to look for, without even taking your clothes off! http://www.xxytalk.com/fusionbb/images/smilies/biggrin.gif

Skinny pale fellas, no musculature to speak of, shy quiet, when he met that sort of person he made a 'bee line' for the balls! Then he crushed the hell out of them! Well that's what it felt like to me.

He made me do all the silly tests doctors like to do, get naked, damn! My body wasn't exactly something worth admiring, it was kinda ugly, like a skinny as a rake body with budding tits, not exactly 'gorgeous', not like the gorgeous body I got now! http://www.xxytalk.com/fusionbb/images/smilies/laugh.gif

So he got me to stand naked in front of him with my arms spread out and I said to myself, "If you go stiff now I'll be really pissed off", but it didn't as it didn't work all that well by then. It did 3 years earlier, but not then, it just didn't work, kinda depressing that all on it's own! http://www.xxytalk.com/fusionbb/images/smilies/alert.gif

Then he wrote a note and sealed it and I thought to myself, "This is like a bloody note home from school", I was very good at thinking words, but bloody useless at saying words!

He told me to take the note to my GP, and I said "I don't have a GP", so he said "go find one then". So I find a GP within a week, and this doctor rings me up to make an appointment, this is really weird. I was just expecting some note in the mail after I dropped my letter off at this surgery I went to. But by doing that I had set a lifetime of abuse in motion, and sometimes I wish I never did it.

Where is the sad smilie? What about the tear filled eyes smilie? The smile that represents the emotions I'm experiencing right now?

Memories, aint they just great!

L8r, maybe, when I can see.

I don't want to reply I want to continue, now that I've recovered.

Last year my father died August 20th. My sister and I had a strained relationship for many years but as a result of my dad's death we were forced to have contact again.

She came to me one night and asked if I remembered having all my blood spread over the kitchen walls when I was a kid. Of course I remembered it, who'd forget such a thing, I'm really good like that I always remember events that are traumatic, in fact those are the only events I can remember and there's a good reason for that.

I'm inattentive, I've been inattentive all my life, so for me to remember something there has to be some type of intense situation that causes me to remember it....how nice!

My mum was very good at beating the crap out of me, she was an expert. She'd name them but I won't here, she'd say, "there's you brother and your sister and they give me no problems at all, and then there's you!"

Apparently I had some challenging behaviours, apparently, according to a Psychiatric report written in 1976, I'd been a pain in the neck of my mother since I was 4 and a half, and yes I do have that report, just in case there are any doubters.

Also, when I was 4 I was diagnosed as having Epilepsy Petit Mal, which surprisingly has very similar characteristics to AD/HD Inattentive Type, which also surprisingly is the type of AD/HD I do have. Isn't that amamzing!!!!!

So, when I was a kid, you know all those years ago, if you really needed to express your frustrations, and really needed a living human being to do it on/to, I was available, in fact free of charge!

Oh yes I know all about people who change the rules to suit the circumstances. I know all about how I'm not allowed to fight back, so I just piss off instead, go find a cupboard or closet to hide in whilst all those who really care about me, and really want to find me, 'cause they're really concerned about me, and beat the crap out of me until their frustreation is alleviated. Yes I know all about those sorts of loving people!

But I'm not allowed to let that affect me now, I'm 50 aren't I, yes I am. 50 and I'm still alive, bloody amazing!

AS years go by memories do not fade, but I really wish they would.

So when I get to go see John W Delahunt my Endocrinologist, when I'm almost 18, and look almost 12, (what a neat joke), I don't want to go with my parents. My loving wonderful parents, who had no clue at all on how to parent a child with major learning difficulties.

I looked normal, why couldn't I be normal? My mum was very good at asking me that question. Yes, I even had to clean up my own blood that she made flow, possibly that's reason why? http://www.xxytalk.com/fusionbb/images/smilies/lol.gif

I can't be normal because I'm not normal, I'm XXY. But even if anyone knew that, it wouldn't have made any difference to them, I supposedly had Petit Mal Epilepsy, and that didn't make any difference. I still got treated like a punching bag. And punching bags are not allowed to fight back.

So eventually I managed to see my Endocrinologist on my own and I never said a word about them as it never entered my head to say a word. It wasn't like I was a genius communicator, god it wasn't like I could talk!

What's there to talk about anyway?

[JOS]

Maybe one day we'll get over our upbringings, perhaps just in time to inflict one on someone else. LOL

Welcome to BLO
:grouphug0

Jos

[prince....ss?]

Welcome once again to BLO

That is quite a moving story about your past. I know you are correct in the fact that it did not make a difference to them that you were xxy.

My parents must have went to the same school for parenting. I remember my oldest sister getting beaten with a belt. then it was the middle sisters turn all the while knowing it was me next. It is interesting how we each adjusted to such abuse in different ways. My oldest sister would cower and cry while I stood strong and did not let out a peep. I would not give them the satisfaction of crying or screaming. My parents were well aware of my condition and beat me anyway... So true, 46 and still alive.

Not good memories but something that should not be forgotten.

[roguekiwixxy]

Welcome once again to BLO

Not good memories but something that should not be forgotten.


Yes I agree, don't use rotteness to perpetuate rotteness, use iot to remember what not to do, :-o

So, this is what I do, this is a mesage to my daughter Tiffany:

If you want to see where I work for my unpaid job, where I find XXY boys from, go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyTLJ70vr_8
And, I do it by contacting groups who help children with learning difficulties and present the chromosomal evidence using the images and diagrams and letters from my doctors. I have a regular schedule of meeting that are almost always inthe summertime from November 30th to late March, and at the moment I'm averageing 0.4 XXY boys per month over the past 7 years. :-o And if every XXY followed my lead we'd get a lot more diagnosed PRIOR to PUBERTY.

[The Female Eunuch]

RoguekiwiXXY wrote (actually he wrote it in a different thread, but I shifted it to this one because I'm getting sick of that other one)Hello The Female Eunuch, my name is Graeme and I have just arrived after I heard of this fascination place from a fella called Xnister or Calice? Anyway, nice to make your acquaintance. I am XXY, have been all my life, but it was only recently in the terms of life that I became a eunuch myself, by choice. Them peanut size testes were no use to me. But I do refer to myself as male I take T to bolster that belief.

Hi Graeme,

I was just wondering why you had your testicles removed, rather than leaving them there and supplementing by taking T? Is it something doctors tell XXY men they should do?


In my reading I have discovered that even if Komododragon could prove he does have Kallman's, it is not an intersex condition, not medically speaking, nor genetically speaking,

By the way, I didn't ask him to prove he had Kallman's because I sespected he didn't - I asked him because he had asked someone else to prove her condition, and I wanted to draw his attention to how difficult that could be to actually do.

As for your comment about Kallman's not being an intersex condition, we use a relatively loose definition of intersex here, giving the benefit of the doubt to anatomical and hormonal conditions that are considered intersex by some and not by others. If we used a strict definition, I might not be considered legit either. I have Cloacal Exstrophy and am genetically XY, which some people consider is not intersex condition (Cloacal Exstrophy in an XX person almost certainly isn't)

cheers,
Caroline

[The Female Eunuch]

Hi Graeme,

do you still live in the Hutt Valley?

I'm in Wellington at the moment. It feels weird to suddenly have someone on this discussion board who's not from a million miles away.

cheers,
Caroline

[roguekiwixxy]

RoguekiwiXXY wrote (actually he wrote it in a different thread, but I shifted it to this one because I'm getting sick of that other one)

Hi Graeme,

I was just wondering why you had your testicles removed, rather than leaving them there and supplementing by taking T? Is it something doctors tell XXY men they should do?


Why did I have them useless things removed? It took me ages to convince any Dr that I experienced extreme pain with them. It wasn't until I got married and sex was impossible to complete that I finally got a Dr to listen to me!

The way T works is by a feed back system with the Hypothalamus, I think it's that one anyway, so if there's sufficient T LH is normal and if there is not enough T LH is elevated, LH tells the testes to make T. OK? So mine when they wre removed did nothing they made no T at all and thye couldn't as my LH was suppressed because of the T I was taking. Oh yeah I'd better say too, I'd had artificial balls for years before then as well, so there wasn't exacxtly a lot of room in my scrotum which was well develped but quite small, to go with my tiny testes, they were 1ml bilaterally, they should have been between 12ml to 25ml.


By the way, I didn't ask him to prove he had Kallman's because I sespected he didn't - I asked him because he had asked someone else to prove her condition, and I wanted to draw his attention to how difficult that could be to actually do.


I have nio idea what to suspect, all I know for certian is that he's screeaming out for company, and I'm happy to give it, with the right conditions.


As for your comment about Kallman's not being an intersex condition, we use a relatively loose definition of intersex here, giving the benefit of the doubt to anatomical and hormonal conditions that are considered intersex by some and not by others. If we used a strict definition, I might not be considered legit either. I have Cloacal Exstrophy and am genetically XY, which some people consider is not intersex condition (Cloacal Exstrophy in an XX person almost certainly isn't)


I've never heard of that, can you teach me anything, if you want to, I know it's all personal, it's ok if you don't want to.

cheers,
Caroline[/quote]

Caroline, that's much easier to remember how to type than your handle, I'll use your name instead if that's OK?

[roguekiwixxy]

Hi Graeme,

do you still live in the Hutt Valley?

I'm in Wellington at the moment. It feels weird to suddenly have someone on this discussion board who's not from a million miles away.

cheers,
Caroline

Nope, I'm in Palmerston North. I'm not a million miles away, and I can get to WGTN in about 2 hours, if I have to. Do you know of Mani?

[Anis789]

Hiya

Your childhood touched me deeply, Prince...s n JOS you too dears - 7 of us we all stood up for each other when we got beat, however i can try to empathises - i guess i was fortunate i did not see blood shed.

Graeme you talk very passionately about who you are n your past its nice to meet a deep soul, i must say being overly open n honest has got me in many pickles in life, you mention learning disabilities my best friend has LD n i was even hoping to become a LD nurse, so you are xxy does that mean you have an extra cromosone?

I shall look into xxy n gan better insight, I went n looked up Kallman syndrome is tha KS in short - all these syndromes am telin ya theres more than you'd think, i feel i am a PAISER slowly getting there to find which intersex condition it is i have i mean.

Take care mate

Anis

[roguekiwixxy]

Hiya

Graeme you talk very passionately about who you are n your past its nice to meet a deep soul, i must say being overly open n honest has got me in many pickles in life, you mention learning disabilities my best friend has LD n i was even hoping to become a LD nurse, so you are xxy does that mean you have an extra cromosone?


Thank you, I want to be very open, I want people to know I'm more than a random event which is what XXY is, a random event. Yes I'm XXY, always have been. :roll:

If it works I've attached a file, I think it's a really good study one SCA's (Sex Chromosome Abnormailities) it's also a 2008 report, very up todate althougnthe sample population is quite small I'm told.

It didn't work, it's too big for this system, so Google Dr Shirley Ratcliffe and see what you can find or e-mail me privately and I'll send it to you that way. Apparently those of you who know what you're doing here can see my e-mail address, me I'm a complete novice. :bis:

[Kailana]

Graeme it is a great thing that you are able to share with us, i hope you find BLO a supportive source to share your experiences, learn about others, and just meet more people with a little unique qualities that do not belong to the boring normals that we are forced to exist with. Thats a joke by the way, the world would be a better place if it was full of people just like us.

Thanks for sharing, caring, and just being around.

[miriam]

Hello Graeme, thank you for sharing your story. Welcome to BLO!

Groeten, Miriam ('groeten' = Dutch for 'regards')

[The Female Eunuch]

Why did I have them useless things removed? It took me ages to convince any Dr that I experienced extreme pain with them. It wasn't until I got married and sex was impossible to complete that I finally got a Dr to listen to me!

Ok, genital pain that doctors don't understand is something I'm familiar with.

I've never heard of that, can you teach me anything, if you want to, I know it's all personal, it's ok if you don't want to.

sometime, but it will take a bit of thought to work out how to explain it.

Caroline, that's much easier to remember how to type than your handle, I'll use your name instead if that's OK?

Yep, I just don't use it as my username so that if non-intersex people who know me glance at the message board, they'll be less likely to find me.

cheers,
Caroline

[roguekiwixxy]

Ok, genital pain that doctors don't understand is something I'm familiar with.

Oh yeah, man/woman (whatever :eek: ) sorry, I made several audio files and burned them onto a CD (ended up with 4 Cd's in total) that I sent to my Endocrinologist, then I wrote an Autobiography....which is sortof complete, all about my life, such as it is...but anyway back to the CD's that told my Endocrinologist all the things I wanted to tell him for years, but there was never the time for.

Such as, when I was first diagnosed I complained bitterly that my balls would go on excursions round my lower abdomen any old time they felt like it, and John (my endo) would relate a story of the Cossacks in Russia who would suck theirs up when they went riding on their horses, but in my CD's I said "If they had balls liike mine they'd do that once and they'd never do it again!"

So the next time I saw John he was rather apologetic that he hadn't listend carefully before, so the method I used to communicate worked really well.