IS and Employment

[witchy_woman]

Okay so, a question I have been meaning to ask for a while pertains to my best friend and the difficulty that she has findind employment being intersexed. Multiple times me and her have discussed the future and moving away from our current homes to live together in another city, but her arguement is always how would she find a job?

With the decreasing job market as it is, its hard enough to find a job. But for her, being legally listed as male on most paperwork and being mostly female, looking angrogynous or somewhat like a gay or transitioning male, she fears that not only will a place not employ her, but if employed by anywhere other then the convinience store she works at now, she might be accused of falsifying information pertaining to her gender.

Is it better to be forward with employers about such things or allow them to come to their own conclusions? are there any companies particularly good for applying at when it comes to being IS?

I really want to get my friend out of the gas station, the likelyhood of her being robbed or harmed in a robbery is so high it worries me constantly, but I dont know what advice to give her about finding other employment.

~Witchy_woman

[Kailana]

honestly i would of said just try looking for work.

I mean I know you mentioned that the store she works in now is dangerous, why not look for another one that is safer? or look for employment during safer hours?

Only companies I would think that might be easier to find employment are those that post they are gay friendly/equal opportunity employers, ie offer same sex couples benefits kind of thing. Not too many of those around though there are several.


Im a little confused if she identifies as a she, but was raised and assigned as male, which i am assuming is what is your current predicament.

If so then perhaps rely most on previous work experience. There are many people who are bigoted and just as many who are respectfull and could care less what a person is. Is your friend dealing more out of fear? of not being accepted? in a new city away from friends and family? Cause right now that is all I am gettting. could be your friend just isnt ready to make that big of a leap of faith.

Have you thought of maybe saving up for a year or so and maybe setting some funds aside so that you all could relocate and at least give yourselves a small breathing room, several months of funds so your not immediately pressed with finding work if you do relocate?

sorry if this sounds all confusing or disjointed. Just trying to offer some advice.

[Peter]

Hi Witchy_Woman,

The topic of intersex and work is one that interests me. I know that some people who believe that intersex people are primarily discriminated against on the basis of gender presentation, but I believe that the problems that intersex people have regarding work are also often a result of having a very poor self-image fostered by childhood experiences of trauma and shame. I grew up extremely uncomfortable in my body. If one does not feel that one has a right to exist, it is often possible to feel that one does not have a right to a good job. I grew up in a middle-class family, but I never dreamed of having a professional job, and only occassionally thought of becoming a high-school teacher. My general suggestion to intersex people, who are looking to move beyond a dead end job, is to develop job skills where the exercise of the job skill outweighs issues of personal appearance and the like. After years of low level back breaking jobs, I was finally re-trained as an electronics technician at the age of 40 under Worker's Compensation for a bad back. It was the best move I ever made. There are a whole range of semi-professional technical jobs out there that usually involve a two-year college degree. I have an AA degree as an Electronic's Technician. I would recommend borrowing, or otherwise scraping together the money to get the job skills that can lead one beyond dead-end jobs. Good luck to your friend.

Peter

[witchy_woman]

Thats some pretty good advice guys...thanks :) I really appreciate it. Im going to translate and relay and use it for my dearest friend. Kailana I sent you a private message for something a little more in-deapth if you dont mind reading it i think its a little long but may help with what you were saying was confusing.

Im the worst worry-wart and mother hen when it comes to my friends but I try to help them in every way i can...i appreciate the more experienced and knowing points of view yall were able to give me.

Much love!

Witchy

[wowgolds]

wow,cool...

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=witchy_woman;19610] But for her, being legally listed as male on most paperwork and being mostly female, looking angrogynous or somewhat like a gay or transitioning male, she fears that not only will a place not employ her, but if employed by anywhere other then the convinience store she works at now, she might be accused of falsifying information pertaining to her gender.

Is it better to be forward with employers about such things or allow them to come to their own conclusions?

>>> its best to be upfront. Has your friend ever considered health care? there dragging bodies off the street to take care of grandma in her home. Last i checked there paying over $10 an hour to start, with more money and more options in the cities. the "training" provided by the companies is a mere 2 weeks for HHA/PCA status and is embarrassingly easy. this field is notoriously friendly towards those who are "different."
then there's the option of becoming an artisan or trades person. when your skills are in demand, no one cares what's in your pants or on your face. <<<

[maellenkleth]

Hi, nice discussion. Now I'm wondering how the tightened ID requirements for long-distance travel are going to impact us all -- since the TSA now wants a gender marker on airplane tickets, for example, what will this do to/for those folks who have atypical or ambiguous presentation?

(I'm okay in this, I think, but have a fair number of dear friends who might have hassles with it).

[Kailana]

but honestly think it would only impact those who are gender queer.

a gender marker on id's allready exists. now I know I wouldn't be particularly happy with it. But since I already have one on my drivers license honestly think it wouldn't matter, It would just provide one more means to communicate and teach people about being intersexed.

Gender markers are just a letter. Which we all have. Some gender markers may not fit us so well, but we still are stuck with them. Honestly all they had to say was people need to have some form of official id like a drivers license when flying, or if oversea's a passport which both of which will already have a gender marker specified. So your asking one of those nonsense ridiculous questions because there is no real reason to add a gender marker to a ticket just to fly on a plane.

Although i would expect that some politician would approve adding a gender marker just so the airline industry could raise ticket prices by oh i dont know a good 50-100 dollars and then blame the ticket increase due to the new gender marker adjusted tickets and computer software, and additional equal opportunity training for staff members and what ever else.

[Brianna XX/XY]

Hi,

I have the same problem. Being mostly female inside and out but being raised as a male my ID is not suitable for my modern life. I am intersexed and like I said before mostly female like 90%... my parents wanted me to live as a male after I was about 16 yrs old. Mostly all of my ID has me listed as a male, but I have been living as my natural self.... a female for ever. It has always been so very hard for me getting jobs and all.

[steve/lisa]

Hi everyone,Living XX/XY;Thats my lifes story,But Peter is correct if you have the proper skills and training you can live quit well in this world.I myself have gotten many different skills at different times in my life,to suit my needs at that time,and yes I have lived as female and male at different times in my life.

But I may have 1 advanage most don't have,I have 2 birth certs,1 female and 1 male,as mother wanted a girl,and she was away from father at the time of my birth,for several months,and made my birth cert a girl,But after returning to him,he,got 1 as a boy,this was done in two different states,the disadvanage of this was,I did'nt know this till I was 21 years old.

and she raised me as a girl and he raised me as a boy,when he was around,anyway so I do know what it's like to be thought of as gay or really different,up to that point,and even after that,the crow's can be so very cruel to those that are different,YOU,can be Anything you wish to,get training and just do it,and if you live as a girl with a guy name then just change it to fit your look,or if you are a girl living as a guy then just change your name to fit your need,it's cheap and easy to do.

Instead of waiting for the goverment to make these changes,just do it for yourself,and be happy with yourself.Is'nt the objective of life,is'nt it to have a life,and to seek out happyness,find a lover,enjoy the things life has to offer,whatever your desire is just seek it out and live.

the opposit of life is death,It's our choice which 1 we choose,so as it was told to me years ago choose well,as your inner being and soul is at stake here,and try our best as a group to have compassion and love for one another,and complete understanding of each other is a must. Llisamay...













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[Brianna XX/XY]

Hi,

I have to agree with you Lisamay, it is very important to aquire working skills as to be able to support yourself. You are so very blessed to have two birth certificates. Mine doesn't show any sex it is just blank. I am a girl of many, many skills. That has helped me as far as obtaining work for myself. As far as identifacation most of my ID says that I am male. I am not male... mostly female... 90% female. My parents started treating me as a male when I was about 16 yrs old. It was very hard for me to adjust, I didn't want to. my birth name was Brianna... To change that after 16 yrs was quite tramatic to me. I have been living as a female in spite of what my parents wanted. It has been quite an endevor living with ID that says I am a male. I have always been embarrased when I have had to use my ID. I still am. I feel mortified when I need to show my ID. I don't want people to mistake me for a cross dresser or a trans sexual. I'm just a woman who was born with some male chromosomes. I guess as a child and a young adult the very harsh words and opinions of family and peers left scars. I feel very blessed to have found this website.

Brianna

[Kailana]

sorry I read this thread first so if you have an intro in the meeting room I am sure to say hello again too.

Glad you found the forum. I do think it is great when new members join and share a little of their own experiences.

Just wondered if you had thought of changing that crappy M to F. I am not sure where you are in the world but I do think that living with a M when your a woman has got to be rough. Would it not be fairly easy to get the Gender marker changed?

I know that in Washington State it is actually not that hard if you do have a Doctor's letter explaining the genetic variation/condition. At least that is what I was told by my states Health Department concerning an intersexed person. You may be able to get a new birth cirtificate with appropriate medical supporting documents.

thanks again for posting and welcome again to BodiesLikeOurs.

[Sunshine1]

Great Post!