View Full Version : hypogonadism, gynecomastia, gender identity
Hi
I was diagnosed with hypogonadism ( testosterone defficiency) at age 20. I was right on time for the diagnosis because my body had already grown.If I had taken the testosterone at an earlier age, I had a more masculine body. It has been years that I haven't gone swimming. the breast enlargement is just embarrasing.Well, I don't have klinefelter syndrome .I did the karyotype. A hermaphrofite told me that I am a psuedohermophrodite. the hormonal imbalance has effected my gender identity.I like girls ,but some people think I am gay.Boys in university don't want to be around me because they think I am wierd ,and I am!! or they think some times I am not masculine enough. I like to have intersex friends. I never insult gays and MTF or FTM transgenders( if I figure out) and I try to be friendly to them,but I am neither looking for straight friends nor for gay friends here. I am looking for intersex friends. I am interested in this subject,and I understand intersex people a bit. I think I can make good friends around my age from this site. I am 24, april 25th , I am five days old when I am writing this.I tend to look younger than my age , probably because of hyogonadism.I live in GA.
Hi. welcome.
Well first hypogonadism is no big deal, that is easily corrected with hormones or other medications depending on the cause. Fertility is even possible if the time comes for you with HCG and menotropins. Whether or not you should do that is a complicated decision though. Did your doctor do a hcg challenge to see if you responded to that or any other tests? Those tell you where the apparent breakdown in the hypothalmic pituitary gonadal axis is and what needs "fixing".
A "true hermaphrodite" has both ovarian and testicular tissue. That may or may not be with ambiguous genatalia, but usually it does have some degree of it. The rest can be anything, there may or may not be a uterus or other structures. Normal development goes out the window, anything can happen.
A pseudohermaphrodite is a very broad category. It used to be the diagnosis for all things intersex, ie ambiguous genatalia. Generally it mean that internally as far as sexual organs are concerned you are male or female, but you have ambiguous genitals for some reason.
Your social issues sound familiar as well. I had plenty of issues in school and a lack of friends. I still only have a handful of people I associate with outside of work. I work for a university so that makes it even more fun. I have been here for 10 years now. I had breasts since I was 12, you learn how to hide them. poor posture, the right clothing, and with some people you just don't bother anymore. No one really sees it or says anything anyways. Not unless you draw attention to yourself.
I've done both sides of the spectrum. I took testosterone for a few years. I went from having no beard and no body hair and no muscle to being a damn ogre or something haha. I gained like 70 lbs and got a lot of muscle and hair.
It didn't really help me though, I never felt better about it, it made me more depressed and withdrawn really. I never felt right. I'm back in "limbo" now again. I dumped all my meds and my last doctor over my "differences" of opinion. I finally developed one and I wasn't going to be force fed things anymore. I've pretty much "regressed" to how I was before. I still have a beard and some body hair, but it is nothing like it was before. I've lost all the muscle and most of the weight as well. I am much more healthy now as well.
Gender identity is up to you, it's how you feel. No one can tell you what you are or how you feel. Only you can make that determination. It's a self diagnosed thing. Most people know right away at a young age, some act on it then, others out of fear, hide it for much longer. At some point they can't take it anymore and they transition or act out upon it.
Regardless of intersex, gay or straight or transexual, people are people. It's only the social and cultural/religious issues people harbor that makes things awkward or taboo.
Anyways, I wish you the best and I hope you find what you are looking for.
Kailana
05-01-09, 12:59 AM
I understand or at least think i do. hope others really don't start slamming you. unfortunately to many even in the IS community just don't get how hard it is when some of us do question our gender identity.
I really do hope you stick around and read through alot of the older posts. theres tons of good info in this forum, sometimes though you have to dig through all the garbage to find any that is helpfull.
Now from my perspective, you honestly need to work out for yourself who you are amid the confusion of what you are. I know it's not always easy, but seriously having a condition that does label you as an intersexed person is nothing to worry much about. all that does it make some of us a bit more unique then all the boring so called normal people in the world.
Best wishes always.
I could never take the prescribed dosage of testosterone either. it was making me crazy. Once a while I would feel like I want to do something violent ,and I was just too deppresed. It was scary. As soon as I stopped taking 4 pumps of gel every day, my body hair started becoming thiner and some how vanishing. The violent feelings were gone. Testosterone gel is much better than other alternatives. Now, instead of 4 pumps a day ,I take two. My testosterone is still low,but not to the point that it effects my mood the other way . So, I am feeling much better this way.I used to think of surgery,but now I say who cares.After surgery, my chest will look horrible. it just gives me a more masculine body that is all. I will try to cover it by some other means like you said. I still need a few more years to make things right. I saw your other post. You can be a good example for me. I hope that I find my girl in the future.At that point, gender identity doesnt matter much to me.
I too, wish you the best
I understand or at least think i do. hope others really don't start slamming you. unfortunately to many even in the IS community just don't get how hard it is when some of us do question our gender identity.
I really do hope you stick around and read through alot of the older posts. theres tons of good info in this forum, sometimes though you have to dig through all the garbage to find any that is helpfull.
Now from my perspective, you honestly need to work out for yourself who you are amid the confusion of what you are. I know it's not always easy, but seriously having a condition that does label you as an intersexed person is nothing to worry much about. all that does it make some of us a bit more unique then all the boring so called normal people in the world.
Best wishes always.
I saw one of your videos on youtube in which you said that you are going to do a MTF surgery.If you liked to do that,and it was your decision , I hope you feel better that way ,but what if you would decide to stay like that and have a sexual life.I was reading a Q&A in a religous website about this issue. The religous scholar said that a true hermaphrodite can have sex with a normal person only after he/she does the transexual surgery. This is just one of those things. Can you imagine muhammad or Jesus or Budha talking about transexual surgery and it's procedures. Intersexed people have always existed and they are just part of human nature.Our society is incompelete without them. The idea that society include men and women is gross. I think a true hermaphrodite is just a special human.hope you like your new body.
Take care and best wishes.
Kailana
05-10-09, 07:09 AM
I saw one of your videos on youtube in which you said that you are going to do a MTF surgery.If you liked to do that,and it was your decision , I hope you feel better that way ,but what if you would decide to stay like that and have a sexual life.
what life? staying the way I have been made is what has ruined my life. I reject the repeated surgeries to make me into what I have been made to look like. My depression, when I have it that is, is largely due to what has allready been done. I hate to say this but what I see as my trueth, is that all of the surgeries performed onto me, only allowed the world to see me as male, had I actually been left alone, or with as little surgery as possible, I would appear far less manly as i do. It is the surgeries and the use of medications in my teens that gave me a male phenotype. Without those I would infact have developed as androgynous, mixed that is what My body was allready developing as. Doctors call breast developement in males gynomocastia. But in all reality, I am Intersexed not male. Therefore the development I had cannot be called Gynomocastia lol. I had hermaphrodite breasts. Think I like looking at my development as a teen in that way. It was not abnormal or unusual but was suppose to be. Taking what little I had away, only provided another means to have hate for what was done to make me appear normal.
I was reading a Q&A in a religous website about this issue. The religous scholar said that a true hermaphrodite can have sex with a normal person only after he/she does the transexual surgery. This is just one of those things. Can you imagine muhammad or Jesus or Budha talking about transexual surgery and it's procedures. Intersexed people have always existed and they are just part of human nature.
Whether it's the Bible or the Koran(not sure if I spelled that correctly), there are references that any who chose to understand what is written in both, accept in both, we have infact always existed. The Bible refer's us intersexed as Euniches, not sure what the exist word is in the Koran, but we are there as well. Meaning we are spoken of, just people need to understand that God does not judge us for being what we are. God loves us and in either text, accepts us for the way we are. Our society hasn't understood what those words meant. Regardless of our society's current medical understanding and medical technique's, meaning if surgery had been understood back in ancient times, I believe transsexuals would of been written about. With limited medical knowledge of the time only men who had their testes removed, were understood to exist, or those born with what we now call undescended testes. <---those are intersexed men and women by the way. People at the time did not have the technical knowledge that exists today. God, Jesus, Muhammad(again apology for misspelling) or what ever other religion is out there, often has some understanding for those of us who are not what some people see as normal men and women. Fact is we are normal, just not normal men, or normal women. Joke by the way. In all seriousness we are normal; Intersexed men and women. [/QUOTE]
Our society is incompelete without them. The idea that society include men and women is gross. I think a true hermaphrodite is just a special human.hope you like your new body.
Take care and best wishes.
Well its not gross, just inaccurate. Truely believe people are learning to understand, are becoming aware of just how different we all are. In time we and I mean all of us will understand what it actually means to be human. what it actually means to be male or female or as intersexed, Hermaphroditic, or whatever else. Fact is there are tons of variations in our species and around the world in other species. We are not so rare and honestly think people just need to learn and accept that variation is infact the key to life.
When it comes to my body, surgery and reassignment, that is still a long ways off for me. HRT for me is providing a great deal of stability and that alone has provided a great deal of happiness when I had very little for most of my life. I guess It would be better to say that I am less worried about what I am going to and more concerned with getting rid of the things I have no care for. reassignment surgery, MtF? isn't exactly accurate, it would be better to say Intersexed Male Phenotype to Intersexed Female Phenotype surgery, because in all reality that is infact what I intend on doing. Oh hey a new Acronym. IMPtIFP.
PS. My apologies to any Imps, last comment was not meant to offend you all.
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