Hello from TX

[HoustonFem84]

Hello all,

I'm here because I have a best friend who is intersexual, she feels like I will never full understand her, I want to because I love her very dearly and I want to be able to be there for her the way she wants me too. She is a lesbian as well as I, and she just wants a normal relationship, without the rude questions.

[Aseras]

Hi,

I'm glad you are trying to understand her. It is very diffucult and awkward to talk to "normal" people about our problems. It's a foreign concept to them and it is incredibly hard to express it in a way that they can understand.

I'm going through this with my girlfriend now and I can't tell you how hard it is sometimes. I'm glad you are trying to understand and if you listen and try to keep an open mind and love one another regardless of the weird biology, you will do great.

[Dianne]

I am afraid rude questions are just a part of life for us. Even worse are the rumours that people sometimes spread behind our backs because they don't know the facts.

Be there for your friend and stand up for her when she isn't there. That's about all you can do.

[HoustonFem84]

Well, thanks everyone for the wonderful advise. My friend just has to understand that I'm here for her and I'll listen to anything she wants to talk about. I actually don't have any problems with it, we've been friends since we were kids, I didn't know until about 5 yrs ago. I actually dated a intersex person before, it wasn't an issue for me.

[Aseras]

That's great then, don't even make it an issue. It is why generally I never tell anyone, because they don't know. All knowing does for them is make situations awkward. You throw in some new variable for people to doubt or use against you that is totally pointless for any kind of a relationship, friend, business, or romantic. Just be yourselves, have fun and enjoy.

[Kailana]

for HoustonFem84

honestly blind acceptance really is all any of us is hoping for. Whether intersex or not, just knowing those we care about care about us is all that really matters.

If you can do not make the issue of whether she is intersex or what her genetics or condition is. Could be she is still having some issues with that information herself. If or ever it is an issue, just remind her you care about her and everything else is not very important.

again Blind acceptance, Blind Love, is all any of us need to feel we are cared for and normal.

[steve/lisa]

:D Dear Fem84, acceptance of friends for me is and always has been trying at first and down the road,I for many years have not trusted many and found out to late that I should'nt have trusted anyone,being a tr.Herm chimera,I don't look enough like either to feel secure with friends,living between the sexes is a differcult place to be forever,I to am a lesbian as mother always told me I would be,relationships have Always been very hard on me,it seems I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop,to be betrayed and decieved once again,but sometimes I get just a little lucky,as i may have gotten lately,I have 2 friends now and 1 of them the redhead is grand,but,it is real hard for me to let my gaurd down for more than a few seconds at a time with anyone.

But Fem84,you seem to have an exceptional one as a friend,intersexed,I perfer being called a herm myself,because that word to me says what i truely am,but,how does your friend treat you ?,is she open with you ?,does she care about you? how does the world think of her ? what is her perception of herself ?,we all have issues about ourselfs and it does'nt matter what or how we were born,i myself try real hard just to be or have a normal life,I hope she does to,and since you did come hear to learn what it's like to be this way,then just ask anyone of us here and I'm sure everyone will be nice to you,and help you with your quest,as the first step to understanding what it's like to be this way is what you have already done,your here to find out what it's like to be in the middle.

Your quest for knowledge is a nobel one,and you already have taken the first step on a long road to that goal,I guess the first thing I would do is to let her know the intersexed thing does'nt matter to you,you just want to be near her and be their for her,and in time I'm sure things will work out for you two. Lisamay...:D

[Laura Robison]

I'm afraid that I can't say much more than the good advice that the others here have given you. The fact that you are here shows that you really care for your friend. Just show her love and acceptance, and be there for her.

[karmanuance]

hey you're in Houston too?

[karmanuance]

I find it remarkable that you have found two intersexed people in Houston?!

[kristan]

My spouse and I are both intersexed.......we live as lesbians......and we are in the Houston area. Please contact me if you would like to meet or chat.

Kristan