internal erections?

[internalexternalmale]

Hi. I'm originally from the USA. I'm 48 and now live in New Zealand. I have always thought of myself as intersexed because I have a very small penis when flaccid - and have recently learned about a disorder called 'concealed' or 'buried' penis. I think it may be that - but - I am not sure. When I was a little boy it would tuck inside so tight that I would have to 'pry it out' and teachers would think I was playing with myself.

I grew up thinking I was really a girl with a strange penis. Also, to compound the 'issue' I was sexually abused for many years and developed this belief that because of this my penis remained small and hidden. Needless to say I grew up with a very distorted picture of myself, my body, my sexuality, etc. I never used the boys toilet throughout highschool as I feared being discovered and lived with pain of a full bladder until the end of the day.

I only took 1 shower in gym class. Luckily I had a semi so it was not 'concealed' as normal, but, still ridiculed for the tiny size.

When I was in my 20's I had to have a medical exam for a job and I remember the young doctor examining my genitals and his expression of 'shock' to this day sticks vividly in my mind.

After many years of therapy for PTSD related to the sexual abuse, I have finally started addressing the actual body and went to a doctor locally who just said 'that is the way you were born' and that I had an extremely low testosterone level for a male. I did not have a chromosome test.

I can have a regular/average erection. However, I can also have an erection INSIDE my pubic region which is quite 'different' and various men I've felt able to confide in have said they wouldn't be able to manage that.

Someone suggested I may have a 'partial vagina' beneath my penis. My testicles are very tight towards my body and often slip 'inside'.

So, I've never been officially 'diagnosed' as intersexed or hermaphrodite (which is what I used to think I was). I consider myself (now) male because I am hairy and bald although have a very soft nature about me and a slightly feminine voice. I never experienced a sexual relationship until my mid thirties because of my 'issues' and at the time although I had always been attracted to men I had three relationships with women. I now consider myself gay fully.

Has anyone ever heard of an 'internal erection' like I am able to 'have'. I have considered having surgery to correct what I believe is the 'buried penis' so that it stays outside my pubic area.

[Aseras]

I've always been like that as well. I'm certainly not a "show-er". It's always tucked inside mostly. Just a nub I guess. the "testicles" are always inside too, in that little pocket. They never come down more than that, and the one may go way way further up inside almost to my hip at times now.

The structures that make a penis also make the vagina, so that is unlikely. The upper portion of the vagina could be intact as that forms seperately, but that would generally be above the prostate area as it is formed in that region, the bottom of the uterus from the mullerian ducts.

Go look up uterus masculinus, all men have some form of that l;eftover from the mullerian ducts. You can look up persistent mullerian syndrome as well so see where the other bits might be and what they would lookm like. Pubmed has a good, but old article with some drawings and things.

I know for FTM transexuals there is a surgery where they reduce the fat pad and also free the clitoris to make it look bigger and functionally erect after testosterone therapy develops it into what is essentially a small penis.

[Laura Robison]

Well, now I don't feel so all alone when it comes to small genitals tucking inside. Mine did that too, and the testicles liked to stay inside too. I could close the skin over them and look just like a genetic girl. Did you have any scaring on the underside of your penis and along the middle of your scrotum?

[internalexternalmale]

For the first time ever I have taken photographs of myself 'down there' for a better view of my genitalia and don't feel as shamed as I used to. Perhaps it's that I have done so much therapy in regards to the abuse and know now that it truly is just the way I was born.

Aseras - Yes, I can't imagine a 'partial vagina' concept as suggested by someone. I will have a look at your suggested link. I've been trying to research using the university library database of medical journals. The only thing I can find is 'buried' or 'concealed' penis and the excessive fat pad within infants and boys and surgical correction. I can not find any articles about adults with this condition.

Laura - I can't see any signs of scarring. Everything seems typically 'sealed up' without any outward sign other than the smallness and the excessive fat and cavity that allows for the internal erection.

[Ashiri]

Hi,
I've been doing some searches along similar lines without much success yet. The only thing I can think of, is that the erectile tissue is not fully engorged.

Good luck with your search for information.

Ashiri

[internalexternalmale]

well, mine is fully engorged - because if it's not 'inside' it can also pop out and be 'normal' . . . it simply seems to defy logic and human anatomy as it is...

[Kailana]

i am thinking of 5-ARD.

or something similar, and the only way your going to get real answers is too see a real doctor and get referals for a real endo or specialist to figure out if there is an actual need for it.

it is also possible that a urologist could provide answers as well. Or offer a solution that may or may not help you.


talk to a doc. best advice anyone on here can give really.