My introduction

[indigo66]

Hi all,

My name is Alex and I have progestin-induced virilization. If you are unfamiliar with this condition, well, I'll tell you about it from my experience.

My mother had 2 shots before I was born, for preventing miscarriages. At birth I looked normal. So my mother and father raised me as a girl. Well, things didn't go as planned for them. I would rip dresses off my body as a child, and tell them I hated being a girl. No one knew about anything that was going on with my body, until puberty.

At puberty, I began to get more hair on my body, a wee bit on my chest too, and my 'clitoris' enlarged. When I got the courage to show her (I was embarassed), I pulled back the foreskin and showed her my "mini" penis. She then took me to doctors right away and I began the change then. I had always dressed as a boy. I even once wanted my hair spiked like my brother's, and I often tried to run around (as a child) with no shirt on. It felt natural.

I had no idea I had PIV until I got the internet and looked up, researched and racked my brain trying to find out what it was. Anyway I found it, and found that it was an Intersex condition, not a form of a transsexual like my brother and parents thought. I provided information for them and after them reading it they now understand. It took a while to get them to "get it", but they did eventually and they still love me no matter what.

It is so sad when people who are intersexed or even transpeople - when their parents want nothing to do with them. It makes me very sad. Because we, as intersexed people, have no control over how God made us.

Btw I hope I'm placing my intro in the right place. I didn't know where else to post it. I'm new.

I'll try to post a link, admins - feel free to delete it if it's not allowed... but this link is from ISNA, explaining more about PIV.

Thank you for reading my intro. I hope to meet some people with this same condition. BUT I look forward, also, to meeting any of the intersexed people.

Take care,
Alex

UPDATE: It says I can't post a link so sorry about that. :boohoo:

[spacegirl]

Hi Alex. I looked up progestin induced virilization. The search even took me back to old posts here at this forum, someone named Jim who had it. Except at some point he took it back and said he never said he had it, and that he really had cah. So who knows? Other things I read about PIV said it only virilizes before birth, that it wouldn't continue doing so later in life. While cah wouldn't necessarily wait for your puberty to hit you. Might wait until your adrenarche though.

The link blocker turns off after you've written enough posts. I accidently found a way to fool it before that, but they probably wouldn't be happy with me if I told.

[indigo66]

Hi Alex. I looked up progestin induced virilization. The search even took me back to old posts here at this forum, someone named Jim who had it. Except at some point he took it back and said he never said he had it, and that he really had cah. So who knows? Other things I read about PIV said it only virilizes before birth, that it wouldn't continue doing so later in life. While cah wouldn't necessarily wait for your puberty to hit you. Might wait until your adrenarche though.

The link blocker turns off after you've written enough posts. I accidently found a way to fool it before that, but they probably wouldn't be happy with me if I told.

OH so it's a link blocker. That makes sense, especially to keep a forum clean and tidy without a lot of unwanted links if spam gets to it. Yeah don't get yourself in trouble by telling me how to get around it. I don't like getting others in trouble.. it makes me feel guilty.

Well, I know what I have dispite what more 'clear to see' intersexed people say. I know what I saw on myself at puberty.

Here's a quote from "everything2 dot com" to prove it:

"Progestin Induced Virilization (PIV), discovered around 1970, is one form/cause of intersexuality in which a female (karyotype 46XX) fetus develops somewhat more masculine primary sexual characteristics than the norm as a result of in utero exposure to inflated levels of the hormone androgen -- a metabolic product of progestins. Extreme PIV is commonly diagnosed in newborns, but many cases are not noted until the onset of puberty when abnormalities become more important to the patient and may begin to change. Certainly, many cases of PIV have remained undiagnosed and the frequency of the abnormality remains unknown."

Emphasis on "but many cases are not noted until the onset of puberty...."

Thank you.

[spacegirl]

Alex, I found a homepage on sparkpeople with enough similarities to you that it probaby isn't a coincidence. Where they describe themself (almost proudly) as being a drama queen and having tantrums. Which probably isn't a coincidence.

If you go now, we would all be saddened. But knowing what I mentioned above, I won't feel guilty because I'll know it wasn't really my fault, I'd just be your excuse for running away.

I'm saddened by your departure, I think you're interesting. Your possibly being a former news photographer and reporter would give you some stories to tell. If you'd stayed, I could have used this space trying to think of closer fitting intersexed conditions than PIV. But that's life.

[indigo66]

Alex, I found a homepage on sparkpeople with enough similarities to you that it probaby isn't a coincidence. Where they describe themself (almost proudly) as being a drama queen and having tantrums. Which probably isn't a coincidence.

If you go now, we would all be saddened. But knowing what I mentioned above, I won't feel guilty because I'll know it wasn't really my fault, I'd just be your excuse for running away.

I'm saddened by your departure, I think you're interesting. Your possibly being a former news photographer and reporter would give you some stories to tell. If you'd stayed, I could have used this space trying to think of closer fitting intersexed conditions than PIV. But that's life.

Drama queen? if you met me in real life you would have a foot in your mouth. not mine, but your own. And as far as 'schizophrenia', I never claimed to have it. I'm sick and tired of people calling me names and twisting my words to say something I didn't say.

You'd be my excuse for running away? Well as you see i didn't GO anywhere. throughout the day I've been checking for responses. mainly because i felt bad for what i typed.

I AM NOT A NEWS PHOTOGRAPHER nor a REPORTER.

My main reason for even coming to this website was to meet friends who have a similar condition to mine... but now my "condition" is being questioned ... i'm a so-called drama queen. It makes me sick to my stomach thinking there's people out there like me, but they question everything I have to say. That's why I wanted to leave, because no matter what I typed, someone would MISUNDERSTAND me.

I'm literally shaking with: :pissed-2:

So if I don't have "PIV", then tell me, doctor, what do I have?

I still can't believe my own 'kind' is ... well nevermind. IF i say anything I'll be labeled once again as a "drama queen".

GOD forgive me for writing what i just did. Now i'm going to get you after me, and anyone else who reads this will be after me.

I never meant to come on here and be mean. That was never my intention. I just wanted someone to talk to and share my experience with.

"i have no genitals, i'm just a female turning male, and i'm missing pieces. but i'm all alone on this journey because no one cares".

i also never meant to blame you for anything. i'm very embarassed and ashamed to be here now.

i don't exist to most people. i do not feel welcome or wanted at this page.

[spacegirl]

Oh well, you see I thought you were already not coming back to see I was apologizing, so I went looking for you other places online so I could tell you. And I happened to find a homepage on sparkpeople.com for a Indigo66 who's being called Alex by all her friends there. She was calling herself a drama queen. I guess it was just an amazing coincidence, though.

If you don't want me to talk to you any more, I guess I can go meditate for a while.

[indigo66]

Oh well, you see I thought you were already not coming back to see I was apologizing, so I went looking for you other places online so I could tell you. And I happened to find a homepage on sparkpeople.com for a Indigo66 who's being called Alex by all her friends there. She was calling herself a drama queen. I guess it was just an amazing coincidence, though.

If you don't want me to talk to you any more, I guess I can go meditate for a while.

You are so messed up and rude. I took a look at your stupid website. The reason for my "indigo66" is because my new chihuahua's name is INDIGO and her birthday is June 6th. 66 > get it?

Why are you so out to get me? What the F@<hidden>#& have I done to make you hate me so much? I can't turn you in to this forum because you're probably knowing, BLOWING, or are related to someone here on this site. Did I happen to tell you i'm a cutter? OH wait, you don't care.

If you don't stop telling me that I'm this "coincidence" girl on sparkpeople, I will be making a complaint to someone. You are "slandering" me on the internet. Defamation, but I *can* find out who you are and get you in trouble for your words. Don't think I won't?

why are you so mean to me? and accusing me of being a 'girl' on sparkpeople.com ? i never heard of the site until you came on here calling it a "coincidence".

i don't even know why i'm talking to you. i'm wasting time.

[indigo66]

how can you talk to me like a dog in this thread, yet talk to me sweetly in other threads?

i reported this stupid thread so hopefully it'll be closed. it's sad that i can't say anything without people harassing me.

I'm going to OD. I hope it poisons me. I'd be happier if I was dead now.

i wish i didn't have to live up to other's standards, but this website seems to require it.

[spacegirl]

So even when I'm admitting my mistake it's still offensive to you?
Your od threat would tend to sound like a cry for help.

I've never claimed to be a doctor. But I can read. Everything about PIV says the virilization is not ongoing throughout life. It may be discovered at puberty, just because it enlarges your clitoris at birth, so there's more to be discovered when puberty arrives. But it doesn't turn ovaries into testes. Except you described continuing virilization. There are other possibilities, like pcos or locah, but it appears you'd rather hear your answers from anyone else but me.

Don't worry, I'll stop talking to you.