Hi I am a new citizen

[isma]

Hi my name is Isma..I am 34 years male (if you could say so) I am PAIS Grade3.....You do not know how sever it is to be raised as a male while your whole body says something else.I am 183 cm, with one testicle in scrotum by surgical operation at the age of 11 and the other in the inguinal canal, a very very minute phallus,well developed breast,girly face outlines surely with no hair except for some scanty fine hair under my nose(I can not call it a moustach)..I also had the experience of being called a woman in gatherings by strange people which makes me avoid attending any gatherings. the most devastating feeling i had lived with is fear. Fear from everything-being phtographed,going to doctors( therefore i had a medical degree), even speak with anyone to avoid discovering my girly voice. The problem now is i do not know who am I .Emotionally and physically, i am a female but in my head i am a male this what i was raised as. Sometimes all i want is someone to share my happy and sad moments with.Someone to care for me and i care for him someone to be mylife and i become her life.I spend all mylife crying on my sitiuation..I do not know what to do and if anyone have some please i need you very much

[notodd]

Welcome to BLO.

You are not alone.

I am sure that there are some people who can help you here.

[galens47]

Welcome to BLO, you are not alone.

This board is excellent!

Cheers,

Galens47

[Aseras]

I was a lot like that back in my middle teens before I went on testosterone. I responded extremely well physically to that, but not psychologically or emotionally.

I don't really know what options you have with PAIS. There's many things you could try , the real thing is finding a doctor who is knowledgeable and willing to help, and also for you to figure out exactly what you want. The latter is probably the hardest part, but it appears you already know.

I wish you the best, in many way I know how you feel, even though I am a different "breed" :)

[Peggy]

Hi Isma,

I seem to have much in common with you. Read my introductory post to BLO.

http://www.bodieslikeours.org/forums/showthread.php?t=2547

I would like very much to talk with you.

Friendly greetings to all,

Peggy

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"When art critics get together they talk about Form and Structure and Meaning.
When artists get together they talk about where you can buy cheap turpentine." - Pablo Picasso

[spacegirl]

Hello Isma, and welcome.
You do not know how sever it is to be raised as a male while your whole body says something else.
You might be surprised at how well other people might know about that.

[notodd]

well developed breast,girly face outlines surely with no hair except for some scanty fine hair under my nose(I can not call it a moustach)..I also had the experience of being called a woman in gatherings by strange people which makes me avoid attending any gatherings. the most devastating feeling i had lived with is fear.

I think you aught to realise that most of us get called sir/mam on a regular basis.
Try looking at the post ' Mistaken identity'

Jon.

[JOS]

Welcome to BLO

I am a 34 year old woman with CAIS and I can really identify with your comment
the most devastating feeling i had lived with is fear

I have been trying to face my fears and do something "scary" each week and have read a few web sites and books that helped... one is called "feel the fear and do it anyway"
well done for finding this place, maybe it can be the first step to sorting out how you feel about everything?

Sometimes all i want is someone to share my happy and sad moments with
when it comes to others, I've found that everyone wants that... the really hard part is really accepting their happy/sad moments in return and realising they need you too.

Thanks for joining us

[isma]

Hello everybody...I am really grateful for being here with others who had the same feelings i passed through and to speak ,for the first time, about personal stuff without embaressment.
For Peggy, i will be honoured to be your freind