I am wondering if I should be here.

[ChrissaBunny]

Hello -

I am starting my first post on here to ask for your help to identify whether or not I am the appropriate fit for this forum, so please bear with me.
I will happy to leave everyone alone if I don't actually meet the criteria of an Intersex Person.

I have been accused of being Intersex by a few people in my life, and I certain have spent hours and hours looking over all of the resourses online about Gender Identity Disorder, A.I.S., Transgenderism, etc.....

I have had thourough amounts of Gender Identity therapy with professionals, and the issue of "Bi-Genderism" has ruled my life since I can remember. I attend a support group here for Trnasgendered People, but I often don't seem to fit thier mold they way that they do.

You see, I FEEL as if I am Female.. I always have. I don't try to look like a female, nor do I make sex the focus of my gender identity. I just have sensations where there shouldn't be any on a male, and I have never identified with the maculine attitudes that men posess.

When I was born, there were surgeries, but no-one has been forthcoming about accurate information. I know that I had an undescended Teste, and my penis has always looked a bit like it had some serious stuff done to it.

I didn't develop very quickly as a teenager, and was often the butt of several jokes as a child in my neighborhood. People referred to me as a "sissy" quite often, and I was very diplomatic in situations that boys could not be.

I would get confused alot when I was exploring my own body, and developed a strange fascination with women and thier daily routines. I had sensations between the sides of my penis that were hard to explain to my male freinds.
I would spend hours sitting on my heel, wondering why it would cause such sensation.



I would spend hours riding the washing machine, and usually chose to go do things with the girls in my neighborhood, as opposed to normal "boy" things. They would all tell me that I was just like "one of the girls" for years.

School counsellors pointed out my gender issues to my parents, but they only took me to a doctor that gave me some shots that made me "develop" more quickly. It was a total failure, and caused me some very nasty side-effects. (although the size of my penis somehow completely reversed, and it was rather thick after a year)

That was confusing, as I couldn't understand why I could have sensations where females had thier vaginas, yet have a fully functional and apparently normally sized penis. I didn't know why one of my breasts grew bigger than the other until they gave me those shots.

My facial hair grows patchy and is straight and sharp.
all of the hair on the nether regions of my body seems "Wirey" and straight, like head hair. I read that this can say something about endocirne function.


I have no atatchment to either Gender, and I don't want a sex-reassignment surgery. I also tend to find that my focus on relationships has gone from wanting to be in a normal "straight" relationship, to having overwhelming feelings of desire to be commited to someone "like me"..

Now I know this might be the really confusing part, but I am not a Gay man, nor do I claim to be a "Gay" woman. I am forced to fall into the category of "Bisexual", although I do not really foster feelings of intimacy with other males. this only seems possibly with someone that is "like me" with a penis.

Many in the male Gay community do not like me. Many of those in the Transgendered community also seem to missunderstand that I don't want to "act" like a female; they are threatened that I point out how lovely nature is.

Most of my freinds are gay or bisexual women. I have even been a participant actress in The Vagina Monologues, and managed to seem convincing enough to be accepted there.

so my question is this:

Is there anything pointing to the real possiblitly that I am Intersex?

Thank You -
Chrissa

[DavidXXY]

You sound pretty normal to me. The sensations "in the region of where women have a vagina" come from the prostate.

[DavidXXY]

Think of gender as a continuum rather than a strict binary. Each of us has some degree of the female and some degree of the male, and few if any are all one or all of the other. Gender roles are defined and imposed on us by the society we live in. Feeling as if something is wrong with you because you don't measure up to your own expectations of gender roles is something you learned along the way of your life - maybe from your parents or peers. It's completely artificial and you can change it by altering your attitude about it.

Intersex on the other hand is a physical thing and it can't be changed. It's not about feelings and expectations.

Give yourself a break, accept yourself for the special, unqiue person you really are. Celebrate the fact that you don't fit anybody's mold for how you "should" be. It is something to take pride in, not to worry about.

[Satyr]

I understand your concerns, and if you'd like to know for sure whether you are intersexed, I say go to a doctor, get a consultation, and learn all you can.

Answers are not promised at first but alas, I suggest you're going to be better equipped to answer your gender questions once you know what is happening with your body.

Looking for answers? Want to learn more about intersex? Yeah, you should continue on this site, and on your journey to discovery.

[galens47]

Hello,

You sound very similar. Stunningly so. The docs don't now much. Try massage school.

Cheers,

Galen/Juniper

[Default]

Chrissa,

Have you been on Testosterone most of your life? Do you still have one testicle? If you answered no to the first and or yes to the second then you are most likely not intersexed. There is a possibility (giving that you developed slower) that your testosterone level was lower than normal which would add to your confusion. I would suggest that you seek/continue with transgender counseling.

Galen,

I am not sure what your experience with Doctors is (I bet not good), but SOME of us do know some things. And some of us take the time to come to these boards to get to know you so we can better help. Please try not to label all of us. Thanks.

[proudmama]

Chrissa,

Have you been on Testosterone most of your life? Do you still have one testicle? If you answered no to the first and or yes to the second then you are most likely not intersexed. There is a possibility (giving that you developed slower) that your testosterone level was lower than normal which would add to your confusion. I would suggest that you seek/continue with transgender counseling.

Galen,

I am not sure what your experience with Doctors is (I bet not good), but SOME of us do know some things. And some of us take the time to come to these boards to get to know you so we can better help. Please try not to label all of us. Thanks.

Why would you say that having one testicle means most likely not intersexed? Do you mind explaining this statement? Because I believe that this is FALSE.

[louisev]

Hi Chrissa,

I don't think that anyone here but you can tell you whether you 'belong' here or not, but one thing that we most certainly can't do is tell you whether or not you are intersex. There are a number of intersex conditions that affect XY folks, but these are quite distinct from gender dysphoria. For the most part intersex disorders are genetic and inherited, and we are born with them. If you are looking for support for problems regarding your body, then most of us would recommend that you seek medical advice from a specialist - the majority of intersex conditions fall under the specialty of endocrinology.

If it is mostly gender identity you are concerned with/about then you need to seek treatment/guidance in that area. It does sound as though you are concerned most about your gender identity, and that isn't a common issue/concern for many of us. But nobody here can diagnose you or tell you if you are intersex or not. A qualified specialist, however, probably could, if that is what you are interested in finding out more about.

I think that what Default was suggesting is that undescended testicles are not in and of themselves an intersex condition or disorder, and neither is gender dysphoria.

[Default]

Why would you say that having one testicle means most likely not intersexed? Do you mind explaining this statement? Because I believe that this is FALSE.


Hi proudmama,

No problem. Physiologically speaking if he has at least one testicle and never had treatments with testosterone, with (albeit slow, but) normal secondary sex characteristics, there is almost (there is that word again) no chance that he is any other gender than XY.

The physiological default during fetal development is female, meaning that if something goes wrong in development that the body tries to revert back to (or as close as possible to) female sex characteristics. That is why individuals who have AIS or PAIS most likely present as female, and is why most surgeons prefer to assign intersexed individuals to female rather than male.

There are very few causes that will make an XX fetus change to XY. The only way to have testicles is to be XY or XXY. In the case of a person with XXY there are (usually) two variations (okay, okay so there are XXYY and other very rare combinations but they usually have very pronounced symptoms). One permutation usually goes unoticed (unless there are fertility issues) the other, Klienefelters syndrome, which usually has several symptoms (medical note: anything that has syndrome in the name connotates that there are multiple symptoms) is usually discovered. At early puberty the symptoms usually go unoticed (which CAN include learning difficulties, executive function difficulties, ie ADD, ADHD, impulse control, but then toward the end of puberty breast development becomes pronounced (in 30-50% depending on the study) which usually causes consern in the parents/and or child, and he is brought in to see his Doctor, who should (note the should) be able to figure it out.

I admit that since this is an internet environment and I am not able to have a formal history and physical of the patient, that there may be more to the story that I have not heard, but from the information that is presented here it is unlikely (not impossible) that he is intersexed. I am not saying that he does not have Gender Identity Disorder, or one of several other problems.

If I am missing something in my assessment please let me know. I admit I am not an expert in this field, but I have an interest in knowing as much as I can about it. Please feel free to enlighten me on why my statment was False so I can go back and rehash that part of my studies so I do not make the same mistake again.

One thing I did forget to add in my last post was... I am a doctor, but my OPINION here on the board does not constitue clinical professional advice (except for when I tell you to go see a doctor) and should not be substituted for a visit to your own doctor.


Thanks

[Default]

OMG please disregard the horrific spelling. I just read my post.. I should have spell checked it. LOL :frown:

Louisev,

Yes, in a nutshell that is what I was trying to say (sometimes I could use a translator). Thanks!

[louisev]

OMG please disregard the horrific spelling. I just read my post.. I should have spell checked it. LOL :frown:

Louisev,

Yes, in a nutshell that is what I was trying to say (sometimes I could use a translator). Thanks!

:-)

sometimes fewer words are more explanatory ... heheh.

[Peter]

No problem. Physiologically speaking if he has at least one testicle and never had treatments with testosterone, with (albeit slow, but) normal secondary sex characteristics, there is almost (there is that word again) no chance that he is any other gender than XY.


Thanks

Hi Default,

I respect the fact that you are a doctor,but what you say above deeply conflates sex, gender, and intersex conditions. Being XY is not a gender. Also, your remarks about female being the "default" setting, while having a kernal of developmental truth , is stretched by you to make the claim that "real" intersex people are assigned female. The whole notion that it is easier to make a hole than a pole has a whole sordid ideological history, as it was not only taken to be a fact (which it was), but formed a cloud of interpretation under which many people surgically assigned a male sex had to live. The problem was compounded by the fact that many health care professionals traditionally viewed transsexualism as a form of intersex. A review of roughly 1000 intersex sex assignments at the Johns Hopkins medical center revealed that over 30% of sex assignments were for a male sex assignment. I had infant genital surgery for a male sex assignment because I had a "vaginal cleft" but lacked internal female organs. I also had severe hip hyperplasia, and a club foot consistant with campomelic syndrome. This is all recognized as a DSD. I am not a big supporter of the DSD nomenclature, but I do see that they are trying make some progress in the study of intersex conditions by accepting a more broad based genetic approach rather that the traditional limitations of the hormonal model of intersex conditions.

Peter

[Default]

Hi Default,

Hi Peter,
Wow, were to start with this? First off, my purpose is not to insult anyone here on this board. Yes I am a doctor, but I am NOT here to defend the institution.
I respect the fact that you are a doctor,but what you say above deeply conflates sex, gender, and intersex conditions.
Um, NO, it doesn't, please reread my post, I think you seriously misunderstood what I was writing
Being XY is not a gender.
Um.. yes you are correct, I used the wrong word here, I should have said genetic sex or genetic Gender (old term)
Also, your remarks about female being the "default" setting, while having a kernal of developmental truth ,Please enlighten me on how this is just a "kernal" of truth, did I miss something in genetics class? Please help me to understand what I missed. is stretched by you to make the claim that "real" intersexed(please do a word search for "real" interseded in my post, that term is not there)people are assigned female.
I made no such claim. I did however state "individuals who have AIS or PAIS most likely present as female, and is why most surgeons prefer to assign intersexed individuals to female rather than male." This is true. I do not agree with the practice and is the point I was making. I do not believe in SRS for babies. I believe the minimum should be done, and each individual should decide for themselves at around puberty.
The whole notion that it is easier to make a hole than a pole has a whole sordid ideological history, as it was not only taken to be a fact (which it was), but formed a cloud of interpretation under which many people surgically assigned a male sex had to live.
This was my point!
The problem was compounded by the fact that many health care professionals traditionally viewed transsexualism as a form of intersex.
Umm... Huh? I think you either got your facts wrong, or I didn't read this research. Please post a link or name of article for me to read. As far as I'm concerned (and as far as I know all doctors that I know) Transexuals and intersexed are completely different.
A review of roughly 1000 intersex sex assignments at the Johns Hopkins medical center revealed that over 30% of sex assignments were for a male sex assignment.
Again... my post "That is why individuals who have AIS or PAIS most likely present as female, and is why MOST surgeons prefer to assign intersexed individuals to female rather than male." I did not say all. 70% assigned as female would be most. Again I am missing your argument.
I had infant genital surgery for a male sex assignment because I had a "vaginal cleft" but lacked internal female organs. I also had severe hip hyperplasia, and a club foot consistant with campomelic syndrome. This is all recognized as a DSD. I am not a big supporter of the DSD nomenclature, but I do see that they are trying make some progress in the study of intersex conditions by accepting a more broad based genetic approach rather that the traditional limitations of the hormonal model of intersex conditions.
I am sorry if you feel you were incorrectly assigned, but as you should have been able to see from this post, and if you go back and read my other posts you will see that I am against infant sexual assignement/reassignment.

Peter

I really hope this clears things up. Please let me know if I missed the mark, but please, please give me some reference for claims. Thanks.

[Peter]

Hi Default,

Thanks for your response. I am very happy that you wrote: " I do not believe in SRS for babies. I believe the minimum should be done, and each individual should decide for themselves at around puberty." That is such an important point. If more doctors would adopt a cautious approach to the surgical treatment of intersex children, only performing those procedures that are immediately necessary for the underlying metabolic health of the child, and avoiding procedures that are basically cosmetic in nature, there would be much less psychological damage done. You wrote: "I am sorry if you feel you were incorrectly assigned". Thank you for your concern. I will try to explain something that is difficult to explain to people. I don't feel that I was incorrectly assigned as such language is usually understood. I feel instead that, in my case, there was no possibility of being correctly assigned on a non-consensual basis. The tension between the original sexual ambiguity, and the desire to erase that ambiguity through infant genital surgery sets up deep psychological issues in the minds of both the child and the parents. I believe that the best course of action would have been to leave me alone, and see how things turned out on their own, even if I didn't eventually express any particular strong gender preference one way or the other.

Peter