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insideout808
07-31-10, 02:59 PM
I randomly stumbled on this website and after reading it for a couple hours decided to register.

Over time I've come to learn that there's so much variation to a human body and more times than not the medical world is stuck in thinking there should only be 100% males and 100% females. I've done a lot of my own research over time and interesting things such as fetuses do not develop from the get go as female or male ... there's a point (11 weeks I think?) where sex is not determined and can go either way and obviously a lot of variations can happen. That kinda helped me get over the "I'm a freak" thing - to just know that so much variation is possible and NORMAL.

Personally I hate doctors. I think most of them are quacks and just want to prescribe you pills for "symptoms" or give you shots or what to do surgeries. I think it's very rare to find a good one (I'm in the U.S. by the way). Someone on here mentioned how they always felt humiliated by doctors. I feel the same way. Never once have I been to a regular medical doctor where I didn't feel humiliated by the time I walked out of the office.

There's an "F" on my birth certificate but that was never how I felt. I was always androgynous. I had a hell of a time when I was a kid because everyone thought I was a boy and treated me as such. I would get busted for going in the boys restroom at school by teachers. Most of the time my parents were dressing me like a boy because I was vocal from an early age that's what I liked. There was a major conflict going on. My parents really didn't know what to do with me. My mom had my hair cut short but then also put me in dresses occasionally and told me to "act like a little lady". I hated that. And of course since my "sex" is female on all records school was very hard for me. I got picked on constantly by other kids for "looking like a boy".

I remember a lot of doctor visits where he was poking and prodding me and then would leave, apparently having some "game plan" discussion with my mom. When I hit puberty parts started growing that made it apparent I wasn't 100% female so I was given shots of estrogen by the doctor (same doctor since birth btw) which effectively stopped my overall growth (I'm only 5'2 because of that I think) but gave me bigger breasts - which I completely hated. I started slouching and wearing oversize clothes or t-shirts with regular shirts over them just to hide the stupid things. I finally broke down in tears one day and there were no more shots after that. High school was a living hell though. Especially p.e. class where I totally refused to change with everyone else. Basically I looked like a dude with tits at that point.

In college, away from my parents and everyone I knew I experimented a little with looks and who I would actively try to date. I like women first, guys second so I tried dating a girl I met in college. It took me 3 months to do anything with her though and she was about to leave me because of it when I finally spilled the beans. To this day I still feel like I was a novelty to her and she ended up leaving me for another girl.

But now I have a "normal" life as a female, a career ... I'm married ... to a guy (who completely accepts me for who I am) ... but there's times I just want to be "just another dude". I know I'll never be, and that's something that often really gets to me if I think about it too much, but even to occasionally be perceived how I feel inside would make me feel a little better. I look female enough now that even when I'm not trying to be a female people still call me one. I've tried taking testosterone shots but all they did was make me have to shave more and make me climb the walls (sexually) so that only lasted 6 months. After 33 years I'm finally learning to just accept my fate so to speak though. I am who I am and I'm lucky enough not to have a story like some do with a ton of unnecessary surgeries and all of that.

I'd prefer that no one I actually know or encounter in my personal or professional life ever knows what my body really looks like (honestly, it's none of their business what's between my legs and I've always felt that way). I'm not one of those "out and proud of what I am people" ... that's just not me. I'm much more the shy, reserved type. But I also think it's healthy to talk about things that do or have bothered me over the years and not keep it all bottled up inside. So that's why I'm posting here - where I feel relatively "safe" is that makes any sense.

ian2112
08-06-10, 02:52 AM
hi.. what can i say, but so much of that I can relate to. Other way around I guess. It is a case of learning to get balance between living "normal" life is adopted gender, whilst being yourself. It is great you have a partner who is so supportive.
I fully understand the occasonal thought you have of just being a dude occasionally, I often wonder what if i was a woman occasonally, i have partial female organs, but have lived as guy...
we are all so different, but we have lived thru' similar traumas to get where we are. Half of me envies your female life, but i know whichever route we follow we will all wonder, "what if"... we have both avoided medical intervention
I too feel safe to post on here. What s between out legs does not matter, we are special,we all face issues in the changing rooms, or starting relationships
.... not many mens changing rooms have seperate isolated cubicles... so i have learnt art of quick change, etc...

insideout808
08-06-10, 05:35 PM
hi.. what can i say, but so much of that I can relate to. Other way around I guess. It is a case of learning to get balance between living "normal" life is adopted gender, whilst being yourself. It is great you have a partner who is so supportive.
I fully understand the occasonal thought you have of just being a dude occasionally, I often wonder what if i was a woman occasonally, i have partial female organs, but have lived as guy...
we are all so different, but we have lived thru' similar traumas to get where we are. Half of me envies your female life, but i know whichever route we follow we will all wonder, "what if"... we have both avoided medical intervention
I too feel safe to post on here. What s between out legs does not matter, we are special,we all face issues in the changing rooms, or starting relationships
.... not many mens changing rooms have seperate isolated cubicles... so i have learnt art of quick change, etc...

Hi and nice to "virtually" meet you. It's nice to have other people who can understand where you're coming from.

Ryles
08-07-10, 02:58 AM
.... not many mens changing rooms have seperate isolated cubicles... so i have learnt art of quick change, etc...
This is something I really hate. I was at college and the women's locker room had individual shower stalls with a separate area attached to each stall but curtained off for changing & drying off privately. You didn't have to be in ANY state of undress where anyone could see you if you didn't want to. The men's? Communal shower!

It's the same with urinals- I've seen "separators" between them for extra privacy, but only at upscale place. No wonder assigned-males are so much more intolerant of differences- they can readily expect to be completely exposed to it in ways assigned-females almost never are.

Aseras
08-08-10, 01:50 PM
Hi. I can relate in many ways. Did you ever find out what was "wrong" with you? Sounds like you just got the doctor run around many of us do and many take the easy way out by medicating symtoms away, or throwing hormones at a problem. I'm glad you know who you are and are finding yourself and accepting yourself. That's truly the hardest part IMHO.

On the bathroom thing, as a "guy" who needs to sit to pee, I hate, dread ever having to use a public bathroom. I don't know what it is about men needing to piss all over everything, but it's really disgusting. I'll use half a roll of TP just cleaing a toilet and coating it before i sit. Then of course I need to make sure my clothes dont get on the puddles in the floor or the splatter on the rest of the toilet. It's really disgusting. Women's bathrooms are much nicer because of the clientele. Changing isn't an issue, I usually wear plenty of layers and choose clothes to "hide" myself, so I relate there too. The only thing that really gets me is doing any water kind of activity where I can't hide as well. A binder and a tshirt can only getr you so far, and it's very very uncomfrotable and it chews your skin. Only for special occasions.

Default
08-08-10, 08:32 PM
Hi. I can relate in many ways. Did you ever find out what was "wrong" with you? Sounds like you just got the doctor run around many of us do and many take the easy way out by medicating symtoms away, or throwing hormones at a problem. I'm glad you know who you are and are finding yourself and accepting yourself. That's truly the hardest part IMHO.

On the bathroom thing, as a "guy" who needs to sit to pee, I hate, dread ever having to use a public bathroom. I don't know what it is about men needing to piss all over everything, but it's really disgusting. I'll use half a roll of TP just cleaing a toilet and coating it before i sit. Then of course I need to make sure my clothes dont get on the puddles in the floor or the splatter on the rest of the toilet. It's really disgusting. Women's bathrooms are much nicer because of the clientele. Changing isn't an issue, I usually wear plenty of layers and choose clothes to "hide" myself, so I relate there too. The only thing that really gets me is doing any water kind of activity where I can't hide as well. A binder and a tshirt can only getr you so far, and it's very very uncomfrotable and it chews your skin. Only for special occasions.

I don't have to sit to pee, but I have the same problem. What is wrong with people? Half the time I need to use the toilet it looks like a horse walked into the stall and pissed if not defecated all over the stupid place.

insideout808
08-09-10, 10:25 PM
Hi. I can relate in many ways. Did you ever find out what was "wrong" with you? Sounds like you just got the doctor run around many of us do and many take the easy way out by medicating symtoms away, or throwing hormones at a problem. I'm glad you know who you are and are finding yourself and accepting yourself. That's truly the hardest part IMHO.

On the bathroom thing, as a "guy" who needs to sit to pee, I hate, dread ever having to use a public bathroom. I don't know what it is about men needing to piss all over everything, but it's really disgusting. I'll use half a roll of TP just cleaing a toilet and coating it before i sit. Then of course I need to make sure my clothes dont get on the puddles in the floor or the splatter on the rest of the toilet. It's really disgusting. Women's bathrooms are much nicer because of the clientele. Changing isn't an issue, I usually wear plenty of layers and choose clothes to "hide" myself, so I relate there too. The only thing that really gets me is doing any water kind of activity where I can't hide as well. A binder and a tshirt can only getr you so far, and it's very very uncomfrotable and it chews your skin. Only for special occasions.

As far as I can tell or deduce without having all the official genetic tests is that I'm one of those variants on the "normal" scale. I've done a fair amount of research into what all can happen during a pregnancy that does not cause medical conditions but rather expose a fetus to higher levels of hormones. It's about the only thing that makes sense to me as I don't have the typical female equipment, but it isn't typical male either. For all intents and purposes I've always (from the age of 2 where I would use the term "thing") referred to what I got as a penis. How bummed was I though when I discovered the other boys had one that actually did even more stuff! Pretty bummed. lol I saw this one youtube video once about this "woman" who had a pretty dramatically enlarged clitoris from birth and no other health problems. She lived as both a man and a woman at points in her life. That's about the closest thing I could relate to.

And yeah, wtf is up with public restrooms? Man I have seen all levels of disgusting. It's not even a dude vs. chick thing either it's just a, how can people in general be that disgusting! Beyond just the excrement factor I also once walked into a rest area bathroom where some old man was just going at it with himself. Needless to say I turned right around and had no problem at all going down to the next set of bathrooms and going in the women's.

I can pull it off standing (and really there's some pretty cool "devices" out there now that can save you in gross situations) but it's easier to sit and public restrooms usually find a way to make that task more difficult and raunchy!