Dissociative disorders

[Adolpha]

Hello Bodies Like Ours,

I, myself, am not intersex, but am married to someone who is. I have been looking at your site in hopes of better understanding some of the things he is\has gone through. Of course, he is aware of this (we try and keep all lines of communication open). Recently, it has come to our attention that he may be suffering from a dissociative disorder. We have been trying to do some online research to see how common this may be with intersex individuals. All we have found is that the early trauma many intersex individuals endure can result in dissociative patterns. We were hoping for more information. Do any of you have information on intersex and dissociative disorders?

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks,

Adolpha

[Aseras]

I don't doubt that your partner has issues. I had my fair share of trauma as a kid and I'm not even "that bad" physically. Socially I'm a mess and I've been seeing shrinks and therapists since I was in kindergarten. It's hard to fit in when you don't fit the normal social roles. I've always been asexual and very introverted and shy. I can easily see how one could dissolve into some fantasy or split themselves off from reality to escape.

The fact that you and your partner are talking and discussing it openly is great. It will be a tremendous help. I know for me, when my gf asked me out I didn't know what to do and she has help me TONS. She's greatly expanded my social life ( our first date was to a theme park ) and i've traveled and done a great many things with her and her support that I would never have done alone. I basically lived under a rock, and without her around I still do, but she has made it much better for me.

I'm sure with your support and love you partner will do much better as well, with enough time. Best wishes.

[Ryles]

I agree with Aseras that it's very possible for intersex to split due to trauma, it's possible for anyone to, and intersex people can be subjected to pretty unpleasant medical treatment and social stuff that makes it more likely. (and some people just dissociate naturally, it might not be related to being intersex)

I'm not an expert on dissociative disorders, but even if your partner is dissociating- they can still be healthy. There are some people who do better split than integrated, depending on the disorder. Definitely talk to your partner and be there for him- and keep an open mind to what's best for him. It'll be alright. :)

[joneyhits]

I have been told I have a dissociative disorder by therapist. This has effected my relationships, espacially on an intimate level. The often coin this as Barbie Syndrome. Meaning I have no connection with my genital area; therefore, not able to emotionally connect physically with a partner, of either gender. Barbie and Ken dolls had no genitals; hence, the name, but it is a dissociative disorder.

It does not effect my health in anyway, but does, as stated above, my relationships with people. For example, I don't feel attaction as descriped by other people and shy away when being hit on by men or woman. Touching is a problem as well. I have allowed myself to be hugged by close friends, but push away when a stranger tries to hug me.

As for medical appointments, I often start crying because of the stress of being touched by doctors and nurses. Some even speculated I had been raped, due to the emotional distress I was exibiting.

As the others have stated, it is good to be patient and have an open mind. I have grown to allow more and more as time goes on.

[Adolpha]

Thanks for your responses and info. There is a bit of the discription of barbie syndrom going on. I never would have associated that with a dissociative disorder, but it does make sense. Thankfully, like you said, it is getting better with time. Unfortunately, there is a lot more then just that, but the details are not mine to discuss.

[Kailana]

hi there can't really think of any truely usefull links but perhaps you might try spending some time on the

http://www.healthyplace.com/mental-health-tv-show/
browse around that sight and you might find something that can provide some insight. they do weekly shows on different mental health issues/conditions and also have additional links for support and who knows what else.

best wishes

[M-A]

As for medical appointments, I often start crying because of the stress of being touched by doctors and nurses. Some even speculated I had been raped, due to the emotional distress I was exibiting.

This is often advanced as an explanation, but can just turn out to be flawed reasoning.

I have the same sort of 'issue' with being touched by men, up to panic attacks that can (as in at least one occasion) leave me unable to speak or move and barely able to breathe for several minutes, even though I have never had any form of abuse. I think it has to do with how we relate to our own body instead.

[The Female Eunuch]

Hi all,

I think I do dissociate from my body in the way some of you have described, and I seem to do it most when someone touches me in or near the genital region (which makes sense in that that's the part of my body where I'm most used to being touched by doctors or nurses, but it's also a problem when it comes to having sex).

However, unlike Joneyhits, I do seem to be able to be sexually attracted to people.

Joneyhits wrote:
As for medical appointments, I often start crying because of the stress of being touched by doctors and nurses. Some even speculated I had been raped, due to the emotional distress I was exibiting.

I used to react to doctors touching me by wroggling or screaming when I was a kid, and I got told off for it a lot. I think the dissociation thing is something I consciously taught myself so that I would no longer react by crying, screaming or wriggling.

Nobody ever suggested I had been raped. I did have a strange, instinctive fear that hard phallic-shaped objects were going to be stuck up my bum, but I don't remember ever wondering where that fear came from. More recently, my mum has told me that she had to stick a stent up by bum twice a day for two weeks when I was a baby, to stop my anus becoming constricted and closing over.

cheers,
Caroline