I was a girl... not that my brain ever agreed

[Ron Garrett]

Hi BLO members!

My name is Ron and I read a little about yourselves, your children... I wish to ask a few questions, so if you all would please indulge me in a brief explanation:

I have had a scar on the left side of my V area since I was a baby - my Mom has told me long ago that it was from a hernia I got as an infant... That may or may not be true, but besides the point now. I was raised to be a girl and caught a lot of crap from my folks & grandparents when I constantly acted openly boyish.

After puberty, I tolerated life as a woman (half the time hetero, half the time lesbian - drug & alcohol addiction helped greatly... not proud of that). It does seem a little strange that for all the sex I've had, I never gotten pregnant... come to think of it..? Anyway, after my Grandmother's death and disgust of several lesbian girlfriends, I decided to research the FTM world, and -- voila! I'm a freaking guy since the ripe old age of 42, three years ago.

Life's been a whole lot easier to live. Nothing's changed inside me - the outside matches my inside, that's all. And all these years that people have pissed me off, well... it's my turn if they feel offended by my physical maleness (and quite decent-looking, I might add).

Okay, my question I guess is... what do you make of the scar & the childhood behavior, not to mention the hyper-correctioning from all angles by the adults??

Thanks... I feel better writing this already.
Peace
Ron

[Jay]

Ron--

It's nice having you aboard. welcome, and i think you'll find alot of answers and alot of information here, along with alot of kind hearts. Nice meeting you, and i hope to talk to you soon. Jay.

[Fee]

Hi Ron, what a hunk...bet you were gorgeous as a woman too!
Hello and welcome. Take care, Fee

[Ron Garrett]

Ron--

It's nice having you aboard. welcome, and i think you'll find alot of answers and alot of information here, along with alot of kind hearts. Nice meeting you, and i hope to talk to you soon. Jay.
Thanks Jay - I feel very welcomed. It took me a while (like 10 years during my 30's) to suspect that most typical lesbians didn't want a man in a woman's body. And most recently, that the average transgender calls himself a boi - and so I cannot take the whole "name/ title/ label" thing GLBT's do very seriously.
I firmly believe in chromosome- hormone findings.... and a variety of ranges that people are affected, which to me seems to explain the "phenomemon" of homosexuality, except for those who do it cos they're high or think being gay is fashionable.
In fact, as I'm sure most of us on this site probably know, in ancient times, intersexed people were held up in their societies as more spiritual, more apt to counsel both sexes and with marriages, were priests and shaman.... oh, well. Let's not get into all that. Point is I feel at home now for the first time. Thanks.

[Ron Garrett]

Hi Ron, what a hunk...bet you were gorgeous as a woman too!
Hello and welcome. Take care, Fee
Hi Fee.. Thanks for the kind words. Yeah, maybe not bad for an old geezer. My good friends that have stuck by me joke around that I was a hot chick. (Quite a bit on the andro side, which I flaunted having been a working musician.)
Ok, back to work.... hope to keep talking to you all soon. Thanks for your replies, and if anyone has info on how surgeries are done to male infants to turn them into girls - in detail - give me a holler!! I'd like to find out as much as I can.

[Az1]

I was told also of having a hernias also , funny thing is there are 2.
The next thing that really struck me funny is that I do not have a birth certificate that signfies as either a boy or girl, this was really strange.
Next I find out I have XXy.
The scars do tell a story but you will need to dig on your medical records to find out. Maybe you did have a hernia you may found out more than you would like to know.
Ya know what pisses me off the most is I was never told I had XXy and I was told who I was supposed to be and what I should be attracted too.
Almost everything I had been told is not the truth and That is why I had to find out.
I do not know why the reasons were with held from me may.
You have to find out . I hope someday you find your answers all I can do is wish you luck.
Az1

[Ron Garrett]

Hi AZ1.. thanks for the reply & your info, too. I actually do have a birth certificate and remember seeing an after-birth picture of me in which I'm sporting my birthday suit - and I admit, it seems like I have a natural pubic area. My name on the document is Veronica... so, perhaps the scar is due to a hernia??
The scenario involving my natural tendency to "be" a boy from the moment I was conscious of myself and adults vehemently addressing the issue to correct me is far too strange to make my scar a coincidence. What could doctors have removed? The scar is the length of the inside of my pelvis. Beats me... I had monthly periods, but they nearly killed me every month. No matter how much I screwed around, I never got pregnant... weird.
Well... I don't know at this time of my life I will have any invasive testing, labwork (maybe), or extensive research on medical records.... should it matter? I've been reading other people's comments on how our body's proportions are judged in terms of initial gender assignment to an intersexed baby, etc.... aren't a lot of people on this planet prejudiced of humans who lack some "normal" body part, function or senses? Same shit, different flies...
Peace
Ron