Hi... I'm in need of some help.

[sparklingdreams]

Hello,

I've been reading this site for awhile, but I haven't posted because I do feel completely female, always have. And I don't want to upset anyone, or get in any arguments or anything. Every should be free to feel how they feel. I'm just female... which is why I'm kinda having a crisis right now.

I have a serious issues going on with my C.A.H. right now. Thanks to illegal immigration I'm trying to correct my birth certificate. The evil, physically, & sexually abusive father chose "M" and because of a lot of reasons I have to fix this. Which means my Dr. is putting me through a chromosome test. If it comes back anything other XX, I'm pretty sure we'll kill our self... I know we will. This all just to painful and I'm too afraid.

Menstruation, hormone levels & etc aren't enough for this country and I just couldn't take even hearing my chromosomes' are anything else but XX. And I don't want to 'not know' my entire life. I'm not sure why I'm posting this I no one can do, or say, anything. But I had to express this somewhere after crying all day & all night.

Take care everyone,
Katie

[Dianne]

Hey Dreams, no matter WHAT happens, don't give up! You sound like you are secure in yourself so don't let "the world" knock you down! You are stronger than that.

Stay around and talk to us - we'll be your friends no matter what happens.

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=sparklingdreams]Hello,

I've been reading this site for awhile, but I haven't posted because I do feel completely female, always have.

>>>>> my mother, her sisters, my sis and a number of my cousins would say the same thing. :) Any doubts i have are quickly dispelled every monstral ( i mean menstral, lol) cycle. <<<<

And I don't want to upset anyone, or get in any arguments or anything. Every should be free to feel how they feel.

>>> its ok :) don't let those with thin skins keep you from expressing how you feel. there just hurting. that's all. and people in pain hurt other people. often, without even intending to. <<<<<

I'm just female... which is why I'm kinda having a crisis right now.

I have a serious issues going on with my C.A.H. right now. Thanks to illegal immigration I'm trying to correct my birth certificate.

The evil, physically, & sexually abusive father chose "M" and because of a lot of reasons I have to fix this. Which means my Dr. is putting me through a chromosome test.

>>>> Why? the presence of barr bodies in your blood should be enough. no one with a "Y" chromosome will have them. its a cheap test, just a drop of blood on a slide, that even i first year college student can do. <<<<

If it comes back anything other XX, I'm pretty sure we'll kill our self... I know we will.

>>> oh please. its real easy for the lab to make a mistake on a test as complex as that (which is why i can't understand why a barr body test isn't being done FIRST) and i'd DEMAND a re-test, at a different lab, if you get bad results. <<<<

This all just to painful and I'm too afraid.

>>>> its alright hon. *great big HUGZ* i have a dad like that too (some of the same evil, but not all) <<<<

Menstruation, hormone levels & etc aren't enough for this country

>>>> actually, it is in most of it. are you in TEXAS or the southwest? Texas especially, really isn't the US and i'd get my butt out of there if i was you. maybe you haven't heard, but they do clitorectomies here.....
I wish i had been born in Mexico like grandma..... they never would have cut me there... they know better. <<<<<

and I just couldn't take even hearing my chromosomes' are anything else but XX. And I don't want to 'not know' my entire life. I'm not sure why I'm posting this I no one can do, or say, anything. But I had to express this somewhere after crying all day & all night.

>>>> its ok... really it is. you know, it is speculated that our blessed mother had CAH. I'm not a catholic anymore, but i find that belief comforting.<<<<

[kate.pixiecat]

Why? the presence of barr bodies in your blood should be enough. no one with a "Y" chromosome will have them.

That's incorrect - barr bodies are a result of x-chromosome inactivation and anyone with more than one x-chromosome will have them, y-chromosomes or not, such as in xxy. However the presence of menstruation means that xx-chromosomes are far more likely than anything else.

[sparklingdreams]

We have to do that because it's what the person at Colorado's Vital Statistics required,

Apparently it's super easy to get it fixed if I were a tranny, but because there is no 'sex change' involved, he just doesn't get it. And there's not like an official way to handle intersexed births. The only thing their prepared for is a misprint within less than six month of birth certificate receipt, like that's something my father would have done.

Then sex changes are what they no how to handle. According to my Dr. it took her like thirty minutes to explain my situation to this Jeff guy who handle's all my states requests like this. I have a feeling I'm not the only intersexed girl who's just said basically 'forget this'.

I'm not going to stress this anymore. After talking with my new therapist today I've decided to just not take their lil true or false test, of any kind. I just have to many emotionally pains connected to this kind of ultimatum. If I weren't abused so severally because of how my vagina appeared this may not be as big of an issue, but who knows.

All I know is I've come to far from my past of incestuous psychotic abuse to have it all come crashing down based on one single lab test. Thank you for your kind words... but I'm not taking their test, of any kind. I survived hell for 16 years and stared into for far to long, and while I still have incomprehensible amounts of work & growth ahead of me to even stand any chance of healing, but I'm not giving up... not here, not now, and not for some bureaucratic pink or blue tape. This whole thing has me so pissed off & sad at the same time. No little mark on one peace of paper is worth feeling this way, it's like being six all over again.

Now it's time to start moving & looking forward.

[Dianne]

I don't know how government is structured down there but I know that up here (Canada) the people "at the bottom" who handle the day to day paperwork have very little authority and have "rules" set down for them on how to handle routine matters. When it comes to something that doesn't "fit" the standard case, you have to go higher up the chain of command to find someone who has the power to go outside the rules based on "special circumstances". It might be worth having a face-to-face candid meeting with your Senator or Congressman and explaining the trouble with Vital Statistics. As elected officials, they are usually more sensitive to people in thier district and they have the power to put pressure on civil servants.

Just a thought.

[fraulein_Maria]

That's incorrect - barr bodies are a result of x-chromosome inactivation and anyone with more than one x-chromosome will have them, y-chromosomes or not, such as in xxy.

>>>> although it was my understanding that XO (turner's) have barr bodies also. <<<<

However the presence of menstruation means that xx-chromosomes are far more likely than anything else.

>>>> true. my point about the test for barr bodies is that, IN COMPARISON to a chromosome test, it is both SIMPLE and CHEAP..... and along with the presence of menstruation, should be enough.

(((( more HUGZ )))) Mi hermanas, canta no llodes. Its alright.

You know they are doing this because we are hispania and for no other reason.
Do not let there hatred of our language, skin tone, culture, and faith make you doubt and hate yourself.