Misunderstandings

[Rycharde]

I am getting some pretty bad treatment here. I want to clarify to you that I am not a transsexual looking for an excuse. You do not need to chase me off or treat me like crap.

Thank you.

I have medical problems. I am a masculine female bodied person who has medical issues that sound like CAH.

I am looking for information on how people who are XX with CAH are treated by doctors if they choose to live as a man.

If I am CAH I do want to continue what has been started in me, I want to continue living as a man because it makes me happy. I'm sorry if I have stirred anyones pot or gotten anyone upset.

But I am genuinely here because I want to learn about how XX CAH Male gendered people are treated medically so that I can ease my fears enough to suck it up and have something done about it. (such as getting tested, because I am scared to get tested for something I don't understand)

I hate how some people just want me to leave this forum. It honestly makes me cry the insults I have received. I'm scared for my life right now, I'm scared of doctors and I just need someone to help me. My fears ARE irrational but I will still have them until someone steps up and helps me out here.

So I'm going to ask this one last time:

If you can help me, I need to learn more. I need someone to talk to.

If you can't then please don't talk to me I don't need to be hurt any more and I AM NOT LEAVING THIS FORUM UNTIL I GET SOME ANSWERS.

Thank you for helping me clarify this misunderstanding. I hope I have been well understood. :osigh:

[Peter]

Hi Rycharde,

You might want to check out the Google Intersex Forum. Only your doctor can give you a diagnosis of CAH. A significant number of people who are XX CAH live as men, and have only recently become the subject of serious medical research. You might be able to connect up with them through that forum. I think that both BLO and the Intersex Forum are valuable sites, and I can see you casting your net as wide as possible in the search for information. There are also CAH specific support groups, but they seem geared more towards the parents of children with CAH or people who have a diagnosis of CAH.

Peter

[Rycharde]

Thanks for the help Peter.

I am still scared to get a diagnosis but I think talking to some CAH XX men would help. Now that you mentioned where I might find some I will try to connect up with more people in more places.

I will see how these guys have dealt with being male and wanting to have high testosterone and be healthy while dealing with CAH.

After I learn a bit more about that I might feel secure enough about this to go for a test and see if I have CAH.

My first step when I feel more secure is to call my clinic that did my bloodwork and ask him about my test results and CAH. Get his response on it and see if he wants me to get more tests done.

OK-Pregnancy, how does it effect CAH testing?

Can someone who is pregnant or nursing be treated for CAH?

If I DO have CAH maybe I can stabilize my condition without testosterone while nursing my baby so I can nurse for longer than 3 months.

My Social services worker wants me taking testosterone as soon as I can because she knows my mood without it is unstable. I refuse to nurse for less than three months with my baby because he deserves a good start and I just happen to be the best parent in the world.
But what we don't need is me being mentally unstable after my pregnancy hormones cool down.

But I could nurse for 6 months without taking T, lose the baby weight, lose the breast weight and start my kid off super good if I could take cort or something to make me not such a mean freak. (thats how I describe myself, short of using the B word when I'm not on T!!!)

DON'T SAY GET DIAGNOSED FIRST. I WANT TO THINK ABOUT THIS BEFORE HAND!
I KNOW I NEED TO SEE A DOCTOR, I NEED YOU TO HELP ME GET THE FACTS FIRST BECAUSE I AM AFRAID!

If I learn everything about CAH and I don't have it then at least I learned ok, I want to know, please, just help k?

Thanks again Peter!

[Rycharde]

Peter can you tell me where to find the other one on Google. >Lost< Thanks!

[apple]

I am sorry you have been misunderstood Rycharde, but really you have have misunderstood some of us also. Basically, I found it offensive the way you so rudely dismissed Miriam, when all she did was try to help you.

Please go here and see what I mean. I think it may help.

http://www.bodieslikeours.org/forums/showthread.php?p=13194#post13194

[Rycharde]

I'm sorry I dismissed her. But she was VERY rude to me before. I know she is just trying to shoo me off.
I know she thinks I'm just a messed up tranny and I know your experiences with transsexuals being rude to people who are IS. I know Miriam feels this way about me and I know I will never change her mind.

She has insulted me and called me wicked names and I won't hear anything from her.

[Peter]

Hi Rycharde,

In the Wiki article on Google Groups, you will probably everything you would want to know about Google Groups, including how to join etc.

The link is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Google_Groups

The forum is the Intersex Forum.

I hope that this helps.

Peter

[Rycharde]

Stayed up a little longer...yes Peter it did. My membership is pending approval.

Wish I could find an XX CAH who identifies as male, perhaps even in Canada to chat with about having XX and CAH and being male.
I know Alberta Canada covers surgeries for intersexed and transmen (grouping them as one) because my friend did that. He was not CAH he had undescended testes and I don't know what that makes him but different from most trans men.

I am just scared that getting a firm IS diagnosis will prevent me from heading in the direction I see myself heading in life.
But after tonight especially I need to look into treatment and diagnosis. Things are getting out of hand in some areas and becoming ever more serious in others.

Thanks for all your help.

[apple]

I'm sorry I dismissed her. But she was VERY rude to me before. I know she is just trying to shoo me off.

I know she thinks I'm just a messed up tranny and I know your experiences with transsexuals being rude to people who are IS. I know Miriam feels this way about me and I know I will never change her mind.

She has insulted me and called me wicked names and I won't hear anything from her.


Rycharde I am listening to you, and I am making a real effort to understand how you feel. I mean only good toward you. I am not condemning you. I am just trying to clue you. So be a big boy and listen and learn on this one.

... pause ..... gone reading for minute ....

I just went and read your thread, "Just Stumbled In", and I have a few words for you.

I am very sympathetic to Miriam regarding your previous argument with her. You do seem unwilling to listen, and you appear unwilling to consider the perspectives offered by others. She asked you a very good question before, and you just blew her off! That is very provocative, insulting - fightin werds - as it were. Get my drift on that?

She asked you this gem of a question.

"Why do you want me to share that I have XY chromosomes .... with e.g. [for example] an immigration officer .... if you don't want to share what's in your pants with the guy that sells you porn/smokes/beer etc?"

That is a great question, not just a good one, and it is also a fair question deserving a fair answer Rycharde.

Yet in response you did nothing but whine like a baby, wrongly claiming victim status, and then you made stupid sexist remarks in your weak attempt to belittle her. You only succeeded in making yourself look small however.

Here is some of what you said to her.

"I'm digging for answers, just like you were at one point in your life and just because I've kicked up a little dust and gotten your dress soiled a little gives you no right to sling hateful or cruel words at anyone.

You might think to be miss high and mighty because you have this and that and have solidly fit yourself into a normal gender role in society dispite your challenges but there are some of us who accept that we don't have to."

That is just plain wrong.

If you equate making childish, rude, asinine sexist remarks trying to belittle women, with manliness, then ..... well, .... suffice it to say that nobody is stupid enough to mistake that sort of insecurity driven bluster for macho, ..... and you shouldn't either.

I know you are scared right now, and frustrated, but you need to GET A FRIGGING GRIP DUDE. You have a long way to go, and you cannot get there the way you are going.

I suggest that you also begin, right frigging NOW, to work very hard to find out what your problem with women is.


You should apologize to Miriam. You wont even begin to earn my respect until you do.

[Rycharde]

Why don't you post that on the thread it's concerning or message me in private instead of on my thread where I'm asking for help.

I'm not even reading it because it's OVER. Get over it.

Dismissing people? YES. I'm emotionally unstable enough as it is that I don't need your BS or hers so go tell it to someone who cares to listen because that is not me.

If you have HELP to offer me in finding what I need to find then I'd be more than willing to sit and listen to you for hours.

But if you are going to start DRAMA, shove off. I don't argue, I don't fight. You will NOT change my mind on ANYTHING.
I will not argue with you because it's wasting my time.

I'm Here To Learn. Not Start BS. So Go Away and Stop Calling The Kettle Black.
There is NOTHING to gain from what you are posting. Just stop, I DID apologize and it's over.
If YOU can't get over it thats your problem don't go starting more with me.

I've chosen now to ignore any other malicious or harassing posts on the basis that I have said sorry many times and I feel that any other posts about this are HARASSMENT. So shove off, I'm trying to get help here.

[Sunshine1]

About eight post down you will find a thread called CAH educational info. I hope you find that useful in learning about CAH. I don't know if you have CAH or another metabolic endocrine condition or any other condition as I'm not a doctor but I do wish you all the best in finding peace.

I have hashimoto's thyroiditis and celiac sprue to go along with the CAH. I'm just a girl with two endocrine conditions along with being an endocervical carcinoma survivor for three years.

I don't post as much because of my thyroid condition as I'm finding the adrenal gland conditon isn't helping it. And the researchers turned me off so I went cloaked if I'm even here at all.

Being tall and needing testosterone are two things that would make wonder about CAH besides all the pregnanancies but away I'm not an Endo and they are the ones that can give you real answers on all this if you want that or and it is your right as well to just keep writing on message boards and gathering info. You might have another type of condition or nothing at all but really have the need to talk with people on the that you think might understand your gender issues and although that isn't me......I do wish you well.



When it comes down to it? gender is a bore or a lot of fun. I'm a female with an adrenal gland condition and many times could care less about gender but to say no gender or Intersex ...nope sorry but Intersex is a physical description of externally a very small part of a small portion of my adrenal gland condition. People that need intersex as a moniker? that is cool and their business and mine is helping others learn that CAH is a metabolic endocrine condition similair to Addison's


My records back in the day stated female- pseudo hermaphrodite secondary to CAH.

I couldn't be mannish or a guy if I wanted to but I am a strong female and that makes me stronger than some men emotionally .

I imagine people with CAH merge to another gender a little more than it is reported in research even though there has been extensive research done on extremly vilized females like me and was found that mergeing to the next gender isn't much different then people without CAH and could that be different now? sure......but you don't know if you have CAH or anything else and on a seperate note it's your choice about what gender you need no doctor can tell you no ...becuase you are an adult and your medical care is up to you.



Prader scale of 2 is normal sorta larger.

I was born with as they say a prader scale of 5 and I voided thru a phallus clit ...... like a blow- up ballon ........ay that wacky adrenal gland. Thus surgery needed to fix what the cortisone lacking adrenal gland did. Surgery could of waited a bit but they meant well.

I wish you all the best in your life journey-

People can die from adrenal crisis and people with CAH have to naviagate the curious loking to see if this has to do with gender and maybe R you do have something or nothing and it's not for me or anyone to get upset as you are a soul just needing answers.

[Rycharde]

Sunshine I totally admire that although you are not able to come to the computer much that you have done so much to help contribute to my posts. I have so much thankfulness for your help and information.


You are so right about everything you say.

I say regardless of what disorders I may or may not have aside from everything else, my gender is something separate. It does dictate my medical treatment of ANY disorder because I will be on sex hormones to make me more masculine. I do not see myself as trans gender because I like being female. I just know my gender is male and I'm more comfortable being a guy in society.

I truly appreciate the help you have given and I have taken your words to heart. You have touched me deeply with your sincerity . Thank you endlessly.

[Rycharde]

Ok from what I saw on one site I look like what they said was prader 2.

I've got 1 1/2 inches (placing the tip of my finger at the base and measuring to the tip along my finger) clitoris length and my meatus (erect) measures about 2 inches. I did measurements the night before last to make sure.

I also have what feels like a penis inside my vaginal opening.

Does this sound like prader 2? One person I know said yes. The site I looked at showed something that looks like what I have.

Just maybe getting more opinions might confirm this.

Oh yes, I was this size before I took bodybuilding drugs. Always had to lean forward to pee sitting, messy business!