Dating someone you think may have AIS

[BigDog]

I've been seeing this girl for just a short time, and certain things have lead me to believe that she *may* have AIS. This is not a problem for me, although it may be for her, which I guess is why I'm here. I don't want to get too graphic, so I'll refrain from that. She had a story the other day about her growing up and having an accident in a certain area, which required surgery. I haven't seen this area first hand yet, so i don't know the extent of what she was referring to. She has also said a few times that she doesn't want any kids. That in itself isn't a diagnosis, I got to thinking after I found out about AIS, that she possibly even knows she may not be able to have any, which I am fine with. There are a few other things I won't go into, but lead me to believe it might be the case.

I guess my question(s) is/are:

If stimulated properly, do AIS women react the same as, or as close to non AIS women?

Should I ever say anything to her about it, if she doesn't say anything to me first.

I might have some more, but seeing as this forum seems a little dead, I'll wait for a reply.

Thanks.

[Kailana]

First of all there are many forms of IS, your signifigant other may be AIS but there are many other possibilities.

2nd, it is quite possible that your Signifigant other may have had an accident, so that doesnt mean she has AIS.

3rd, thank you for comming to the sight.

and finally 4th, If you care for her then just let her know that regardless of the accident/surgery that its not an issue for you. You love and care for her. It might even be advisavle to suggest that you'd like to learn more, and to tell her not to worry you will understand and accept her for her, regardless of surgeries/scars, or anything else. That you love her, care for her, and will always be there. That is what is important. Now then, a thing to remember is that many of us regardless of the cause do have some issues with sharing our histories, it takes time to learn to trust people, and often even more to learn to speak openly with others about our bodies. Knowing that someone cares and is willing to accept us for who we are is a great way to get a trusting respectfull bond developed. Give her a little time and just be there, she may share with you as you become more involved together.

thanks again for posting your questions. I am sure others will respond. Most posts here will only get responses when people post in it. Typically most questions get asked in the meeting room, which lowers traffic in the other threads.

Best Wishes

[Sofie]

This is not a problem for me

So what's your problem?

[peaceandparty]

hi hoiw are you?

i will start by saying

that as hard as it is to pop the question!!!!

i think opening up dialogue on certain intersex issues of our time could be a great move

yes!she may have had an accident from another cause
but regardless of how it happened with her
if you are knowledgeable about ais
then what is the harm in just innocently mentioning what you know about ais
and hint at her maybe having it
but only hint
because obviously it is a sensitive subject
and its the same
as when you think a woman is pregnant but you are equally not sure
and you may offend her by asking her

same story
but if you must know
then you must ask
just go gentle
and you seem respectful
so just be conscious of boundaries and go slowly
and all will be well
in my opinion

yes forums can be slow at times
especially when there is sun outside our windows

[Melisma]

I certainly understand your curiosity; I can imagine myself feeling the same way in your position. However, I wouldn't advocate asking her about it until/unless she brings it up. As for the sex, it's just like with anybody - you won't know what is/isn't going to be pleasurable for either of you until you get to the stage where you're either talking about (or demonstrating! ;-)) your likes and dislikes.

[Danielle Lavendur]

On that note if you like HER then the rest of it shouldnt matter. You'll find a way to work around any physical issues.

[steve/lisa]

bigdog,sir.Whats the problem may i ask who care's if she is a IS person,Do you like her,may you end up loving her? does she make you laugh,feel good about life,is she pleasureable to be with,?. well if ant of these things are what you feel then go for it.Hun,their are hundreds of way's to have sex and all of them feel good so if you like her then nothing else matter's or should,and as far as to what may or may not have happened to her just be patient,If she feels she can trust you then she will speak of it in her own time.If she's not IS then she has already told you why it may be different to look at or feel,anyway the real quiston is does it really matter to you if she is or not.Only you have the answer to that one,So have a good time and enjoy each other's companinship.lisa

[peaceandparty]

very good words
as usual