Hi Free.

[Natasha]

Always here for ya baby. Always.

Look in surgery issues for a spot on that, maybe doctors? I posted one of my anti medical industry rants there to, I think it was. I am with you on "doctors". Sure there are good ones, but the medical paradigm, their "cultural eminence" and all that, has to be changed.

Sorry you had a bad experience. That sounds so trite and inadequate. But I am. Wish I could be of more help to you Free.

<sigh>

[Freewriterr]

Natasha,

Hey, I stayed in bed all day yesterday, had to go to the family doc yesterday morning, and they are scheduling a MRI for me either tomorrow or the next day. Good ole insurance ties their hands on a weekend!

The ER visit for once was not bad at all. I did not have to deal with anything due to my IS status, but it does always bring back the night mare issue of my past and all. I just dread being anywhere near hospitals!!

But got through this. My disk in my kneck slipped out of place and the cortozone pills they gave me are suppose to make the swelling go down, in hopes that it slides back into place. They also gave me sleeping pills to keep me still and that in itself is a real task for me, being that I am hyper active. I have never taken a sleeping pill in my life!! I was scared of it to be honest. I hate anything that alters my state of mind and leaves me feeling unable to protect myself. Sounds wierd and goofy but true.

I made my wife promise to not even leave the house when I took it. It was really kind of funny, I did manage to get some sleep, but even still woke up quite a bit in pain.

I do feel better today, but have only been able to stay up for small amounts of time, and then I just feel so wiped out. I absolutely hate it.

Grace has cleaned the house from top to bottom cause I have been out of the way, so there is a plus side! LOL

I do feel better, but anytime I have something happen medically all my guards and fears go up due to the docs in the past. I have had some really really good docs, and I have had a few true assholes in my life too.

As long as this stuff works and the swelling goes down in my disk I think I will be fine. I will only know after the MRI what they are going to do. I am going to go into work tomorrow and take my cell phone for the call from the docs office to see when the test is.

I just wish I did not have to live in the fear I have for the medical community, I just can never feel relaxed with those people from all the hell in the past. In most repects of my daily life and all, IS issues are few and far between, but when it comes to medical needs, I really become panic filled. The white coat syndrome is what I call it. I do like my family doc for the most part. He deals with my IS issues and my ADHD issues both and is really a good guy. He shows me respect the best way he knows how, never forces me to do a thing I dont want to do etc.

Anyway, just feeling stressed because I do not know what the MRI is going to show up, and I do not have a clue to what they are going to want to do etc. I just want the swelling to go down, and be left alone so that I can get back to life as normal.

I guess one thing all of us can identify with is the fear of the medical world.

Peace,

Free

[Janet]

and I'm sorry it's taken so long to reply.

Your feelings about hospitals & doctors are so a part of all our experiences. It is hard to approach even the mildest of treatments/tests/appointments without toal fear and panic.

Ever notice how we ignore the 10,000 mile check ups and only seek help when we can't avoid it anymore? :~}

Give Yourself a Mantra to deal with medical stuff:

I am not going to be victimize here or anywhere again.
I will not be bullied or intimidated by people in white coats.
When it comes to knowledge of my body, I am much smarter than they are.
I am not a helpless child anymore.
*******
Bring some handouts and educate the people that really need to know about people with bodies like ours.