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[Jules]

Hello, My name is Julanne. i'm thirty four I live in Boston and i learned by accident that I was intersexed. I am happy with my choice of gender even t it was a tough road. I must say that each intersexed child has its own unique problem and each one must be treated diffrently. The surgrey will work for some, but not for others. I think there are good doctors and bad doctors. A good doctor will make the right choice for the child, a bad doctor won't. I was very lucky, I think that I never knew a thing about my true genitic sex untill I was a adult. I never even knew that my parts were any diffrent untill I saw my birth pictures. I was lucky that I passed through the hands of a skilled surgen who left my sexualy senstvity intact. :D Are there any intersexed people who have been happy with the choice that was made for them?:confused:
I also was very hyperactive. any other intersexed people have that problem? by the way, I was a boy without a penus. I only had a stump. It was very featurless. nothing to look at. Had they not changed my sex, I wouldn't of even been able to go into the boys room. I peed from under my teste. the teste was removed before the critical period and I femmized very well, Know one can ever tell that I had a (many) operations unless I tell them. I love sex, although my orentatin is woman. Funny I don't see myself as gay at all but intersexed! Yes the surgrey was trumatic. But so woundn't being a castrated in the womb man!! And God know what would of happend if they had to remove my tese anyway becacuse of cancer or bladder infections. I had a connection between my bladder and semial vesticals that was giving me painfull infeactions as a child. I can' t ever want to be anybody other then who i turned out and why i turned out to be who I am.
do any other intersexed people feel that way????

[Andi]

Hello Jules, I'm glad for you that your happy with how things turned out for you.
As you say (and I quote) "I think there are good doctors and bad doctors. A good doctor will make the right choice for the child, a bad doctor won't.". It has been my experience that doctors think they know everything (if not more) & take offense if you so much as DARE to question them. After all, they're all smarter than the Divine Creator of the Universe (at least that's how they see themselves).
I place doctors into two different categories: Those who want to hack our bodies up because they "know what's best for us" & Those who want to hack us up to make a quick buck. I do acknowledge that there are exceptions to this. After all, we her in this forum are the exceptions to the "There are boys and there are girls" rule, aren't we? I just haven't found the exception in the medical field yet.

[Jules]

mmm.. sounds like you have met some realy rude doctors, and I can understand how you feel. You should speak out to the doctors in Boston, they listen!!! The learning curve of people trying to understand the intersexed has been slow. In the fiftys and sixtys doctors tried to make intersexed people look normal without understanding the outcome of snipping sexual nerves. In the seventys doctors understood better how to operate, but operated to make parents more comfortable with how there children looked then worring about the gender of the child. In the eighties, intersexed people begain speaking out about how they felt about there bodys and hw the operations affected there lives. Now we live in a world, that allows gays, transgendered, and intersexed people to live far more in harmoney with the world today. The voices of the intersexed are listened to now more then ever. Parents of the intersexed are getting more education about their children to help them make good choices with or without surgery. Ten years ago,and mabey even still today, no Mother or Father wanted to hear that you have a healthy baby hermaphidite! Now times are changing. Voices are being heard. It is o.k to be diffrent. Surgery does help some poeple. Genetic anomiles can be so strange that a little help from a understanding and skilled surgen can improve the sex life of a adult hermaphidite. In cases that sexual fuction remains inspite of ambigous gentials I fully agree that any operation just be left up to the intersexed person. If mistakes have been made in the past they will help the intersexed of the future. Being born with sexuals parts diffrent from the world, you must agree raises a lot of questions about the future of a adult. Put yourself in the parents shoes, what if you couldn't tell the sex of your beloved chlld. Doctors may give advice, good or bad, but it is up to the parents to make the choice!!! If I'm luckey the the right choice was made for me, them I'm sure that there are a lot of others that are not so lucky. But you must agree the choice is diffcult no matter what way you choose! I would love to talk to you more, Are you intersexed?? Email me if you like, I'm very openminded and hope that some how I could help your healing. :cool:

[Kailana]

Hiya Jules
Glad to hear your happy and comfortable with yourself.
I think i have low selfesteem, because i am usually very depressed. I Often think that i would of been happier never knowing that i was different. Fact is i was 22 when i found out how different i am. As a teen i was told by my pediatricain, i was different, But i wasnt told how. So i never really believed it. Unfortunately for me i've had 10 years of questioning weather or not id be happier as a female. I often feel as though my manhood, has been stripped away. Not that i have ever been all that manly in the first place. So i find it hard to say weather im happy. I have to many questions, that Parents won't answer. I'm finding it getting expensive getting medical tests done. Im trying to get straight answers from the "DOCS" and its not easy for me to even talk to them. Overall i'd so "No im not happy, Im confused". Being confused isn't any fun. anyways its nice hearing that your ok with yourself, maybe someday i'll feel that way too.
Take care Rudy

[Jules]

I did not have it good as a child. I was beat up by boys:eek: disowned by girls:( and had a mom who made my feel like I was a bad child for not playing my gender role:mad: I pulled out my hair in volumes:( had no friends and suffered from painfull bladder infections because of retained semail vesticals:eek: My only defence was to masifest hyperactivity in huge volumes to defend myself from a world that seemed to be against me every way I turned. They put me on ritlin for 13 years until I decided to stop it. Of course I blamed myself for all of it. The only people who did seem to understand me were my doctors. I could talk honestly to them about my unhappyness and they tried to help. It of course it was up to me to decide that I have one life to live and If I can rebuiled my hope and self-esteem, inspite of loosing my mother and my sister afterward, and learning very late that I was intersexed I beleve that we all have powers we can tap into. but it starts from inside, it starts with self -love, and self respect I could teach anyone how to love ther unique bodys if you just open your hearts to me Julanne

[Dana Gold]

I am happy with myself, as I am now. But I am bitter about the choice that was made "for me". I know for the rest of my life, I will always go to sleep at night and wake up in the morning with the feeling of 1. my having wasted and 2. others "influences":( having wasted: the greater majority of my life. And I must , still to this day, struggle to have MY "choice of gender" be "officially recognized and acknowledged" by those intelligent people in power and authority (as well as the average Jane and John Doe) who profess to "know better" about it than I. And who regard and have regarded "their choice" as the "correct" and real one for me.
There has been no "compensation" for that loss and struggle and I am almost 54 now.


"For of all sad words of tongue or pen,
The saddest are these: 'It might have been!'"
-John Greenleaf Whittier, "Maud Muller"