Another Newbie - from Australia

[Girlyboy]

Hi all.

I was wondering if there were many Austrlians on this list.

I was born with Kinefelter's Sydrome, although this did not become apparent till I began to develop breasts at age 11. I had already been raised like a girl by my over femanistic mother so this was not a big deal to be raised fully as a girl from age 11-16. Then my mother who was also an alcholoic threw me out of home after months of telling me that I was a freak and considerable abuse.

It has taken me a long time for me to realise I am not a freak, but I still struggle with life at times. Having been raised as a girl, but outwardly appearing as male while having XXY genes and some reproductive organs from both genders I find it difficult to cope some times. I am a sensative person, but I am often forcedto put up with rude and offensive male behavior, particuarly at work. I have told my employers of my condition, but due to the fact that I work in a government department, and there is a very poor attatude to people with disabilities here I find people either don't know or don't care about my situation.

This is particuarly frustrating as I find that I am a bit of a slow learner (due to Klinefelter's) and that my memory seems quite bad. I am expected to perform at a level that I am finding increasingly hard to achive. It is very frightening to know that your own memory is just not there. It's scary when people ask you about events in the recent past and you have no recollection of them what so ever. Knowing that this could affect your income is also terrifying when finding employment for a hermaphrodite can be so difficult.

Also, besides me, are there any 'male' appearing hermaphrodites / gynecomastia people out there who like their breasts? I finf it annoying that people are constantly teling me they can be removed.

Kind regards all,
Girlyboy.

[Betsy]

Hi Girlyboy,

Welcome to Bodies. I'm not sure if there are others from Australia who actively post, but I do know there are some who have registered. Perhaps they'll come out of lurking status to introduce themselves to another Aussie!

It sounds like you have had some rough times to say the least. It's good that you are able to talk about them...always a good step in healing.

I can't believe that people would suggest surgical solutions to something you don't have any issues with. What do you say to them? Hopefully it is something that leaves them red-faced and shamed.

Betsy

[Girlyboy]

Hi Betsy.

Sure I've been through some tough times, and still going through them but I try to look on the bright side of life. :)

I do have two answers that I bring up when people suggest surgery. The first is; "Why should I modify my body just to suit your whims? Would you change yours to suit what I thought?"

And to the slightly more closed minded people;
"Do you judge other people born different so harshly? I suppose you have a hard time with blind and deaf people as well? If not, why do you judge me so harshly for something I was born with?"

I dislike narrow minded people. I really hate racist people too. Well not hate, but certinly don't like. Even though Australia tends to be quite multicultural, we still have a minority of racist rednecks. I usedto think our priminister was one, but on the surface of it he's made some minor improvements.

Out of curiosity, how do others handle relationships? I have big problems getting close to and intimate with women. I have no attraction to men. Having been brought up as a girl, I was taught that it is wrong to offend women, so have trouble asking women out for fear of offending them. I know it's stupid, but it's hard to get over that sort of conditioning. This is more so after having your mother tell you for years on end that you're a freak. It is taking me so long to get over that. Some days I just want to be a 'normal' person, with a quiet life and a loving family of my own. I think it's a Pinochio complex, wanting to turn into a 'real' person. Damn society for forcing such narrow minded concepts of what is 'normal' onto us all.

On a posative note I have at least managed to gain a university degree despite my terrible memory and problems retaining it. I have a steady job and a good income. Those are at least some things to be thankful for.

[Rudy]

:) hello Gilryboy
im responding to your guestion of weather or not there are any males with gynocomastia. And well yes at least theres me. My parents asked me when i was 15 years old if i'd like my chest reduced. At the time i wondered why they were asking, im not that big up top. I told them at the time i wish they were bigger. They didnt aske me again. I've also had a doctor ask me if i ever thought about wearing a bra. that was when i was 22. I gave the same response and well it shocked him. Im sort of gender dismorphic. Really think i should of been a girl. I didn't anything untill i was 22. Didnt know how different i was untill i had an MRI for a lower back injury. I have both testies and ovaries/uterus. I also have only one adrenal gland. Lab reports from my blood say i have CAH, After seeing a military shrink(psychologist) and talking with him i had a Karyotype done found out iwas xy/xo too. I've known for almost 10 years now that im different from most people. My parents wont tell me anything though. My mother just tells me she doesn't want to talk about it. and My father tells me that he doesnt know how he can help me. I think they both feel like crap when it comes to me and my self-identity(i have gender issues) I keep telling them i should of been a girl. That seems to upset them a bit, but as far as i'm concerned they havent got enough honor to be honest with me.
Anyways back to the ginocomastia issue. I like what i have although i do wish they were bigger. i dont have any self doubts or embarrassment when it comes to my chest. Im different and for the most part i dont take any critisism from people about them. I did get a lot of teasing from friends growing up and while in the service. I't never really bothered me though.
I didnt meen for this post to talk so much about myself that just seemed to happen. Anyways its good to hear that your comfy with yourself. and im sorry you've had such foul treatment from your mother, that has got to hurt at times. if you ever feel like chatting send me an email. I'd love to here from you from time to time.
Take care

[Az1]

Hi girlyboy
I also have KS but I identify as being IS.
If you ever want to talk I usually come in and see what is happening in here every other day or so. I would love to chat .
You had asked if others like their breasts. I do I love my breasts and my body too .
It is a true miracle and I cherish everyday just being alive.
Have a Nice day. Az1

Muhoe

[Janet]

Check out our links pages. There's an AIS Support Group in Australia, and they cover other IS conditions as well. I'm sure their links will lead you to other accepting places as well.

Good luck as you go!
Janet Green
Executive Director
Bodies Like Ours

[Jules]

;)

[Wyn]

Girlyboy,

SO glad to have finally gotten to read your post - sorry it is so late. I've been in the middle of my own MAJOR dillemmas with similar 'problems'. Yes, I feel much as you do - I like my body just the way it is - it truly is wonderful. However, if you read my initial post (with no replies yet) you'll see that I recently 'developed' - AFTER 46 YEARS!

This is due to my particular syndrome(s), and is the direct result of the surgery that was inflicted upon me as an infant. Over the last few weeks and months I have been coming out to all my friends and family, with generally good results.

Like you, the line of work I'm currently in involves EXCLUSIVELY males in a heavy work enviroment, and due to my recent developments, it should be an interesting year, particularly with spring and summer soon to be upon us.

'Real' guys can be such *pigs*, in many ways, to both women, and particulary to men who don't fit the very limited scope of the male 'norm'. Fortunately, TIME just came out with an article (referred to by Betsy in a recent newsletter) that I'll be posting at work for all to read.

Yes, there will be those that have closed minds and hearts - the greater loss for them I feel. I too prefer women, but have not had a relationship in over 10 years - I just don't have the 'drive' to 'go after' them, not to mention the very real chance for rejection. This is something that I just cannot handle at this time.

Finding this site has literally been my 'savior' - I was very close to ending it all just recently, and still have a long way to go, but it HAS gotten a LOT easier.

I can't speak specifically to your situation, as I did not grow up with a 'feminine' body, although I've always been VERY thin (5ft8in, 125 lbs). Ironically, it wasn't until I had put on a great deal of weight (for me - 175+) that I began to develop. Since then I've lost about half of that weight gain, and feel VERY GOOD about my appearance, although I still have the genrally masculine frame and some facial structure - just with a (cute) feminine profile. If I grow my beard (which I couldn't do until just recently), it ought to be rather comical!

Anyway, great to hear from you - sorry I'm in ol' USA.
Wyn

[cougar9q]

Hey Girlyboy!

I am glad that you're here...you'll a wide range of beliefs, and opinions here, but most importantly you will find support..

Just wanted to welcome ya!

~Monica

[beach]

hay jewls bringin up the old stuff .... another person that will be missed............... beach

[Jules]

Some realy good posters have come and gone. I think that it is not a bad thing reading the posts that would soon lead to my first post on BLO and all the the posts that would follows:D

[beach]

well put

[Girlyboy]

Sorry Jules, Beach, Betsy and all. Sorry for putting you all through what I did. I was having a very bad time, and thought I had the answer to my problems. I obviously didn't. I hope you're all not too pissed off. :(

Oh, and Romana's name is not Romana. She kidnapped mine to hmm, 'motivate' me to post here again. Fiend! :)

[beach]

i was told by a freind you were still around ...... glad to hear it ... welcome back to the land of the living ... beach

[Glenn]

I don't think anyone's pissed off, you just scared us a bunch. Glad we didn't lose you.

Glenn

[Sofie]

:D I would like to say something more meaningful but all that's popping up in my mind are smileys :D :) :D

Sof i e

Too bad you are living so far away :mad:

[Jules]

I knew if I brought back your first post, you would come back:D

You are so needed here. I have been looking forward to the day you would come back. We need good thoughtfull posts again on this site. I loved your posts! In so many way so where the first person I realy thought had ther head screwed on right. Of course everyone interexed here is valuable. But In the early days of BLO I read your posts over and over and over. I'm so glad your back!!!:D

[Girlyboy]

Yes, I'm back. Sorry for being such a moron. Well, I should think of something posative to say now I suppose. Hmm, Well it's a sunny day here. :)

[Dana Gold]

Hi Girlyboy,

Quote: "for being such a moron".

Well, I have been of late an idiot myself, having went into a tailspin of a panic attack a couple of days ago (after "losing altitude" from depression).......you didn't see the "crash", though, but some others here on BLO felt the repercussions or "percussions", I should say....I think I made an ass of myself; but the support was still there. I would also like to tell you that my depression, anxiety and panic are the real "fiends" and cause me to be my own worst enemy sometimes.; so I can s/w understand your situation before and after you left BLO some time ago. And I have been seriously suicidal before also; but could never carry it through to the finish.
So, I welcome your company:D; and I bid you welcome back, even though you have not ever communicated with or known of me. You posted earlier that it was a nice day over there; and today is a nice day here in California. 2 morons, both in sunny weather :cool:. It's a small world after all:D

I'm a quote nut: so here's a couple for both of us:

"Experience is not what happens to you; it's what you do with what happens to you."
-Aldous Huxley

"If you can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches."
-Carolyn Kenmore, Mannequin: My Life as a Model

Take care, be nice to yourself ...soft touch, get it?;)

Dana:)

[Girlyboy]

Hello Dana I think I've taken an instant liking to you. I share some of your thoughts. Depression can be a big pain and make you do stupid things that you don't want to do. I also do stupid things that can make me be my worst enemy. You sometimes look at them and wonder what on Earth made you do those things. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I've recently been thinking hard about some of the stupid things I've done recently. Some times I know that they are stupid but I still do them and regret it afterwards.

But I have been concentrating on not doing stupid things and have managed to avoid doing anything stupid for some weeks now. :)

I also like quotes, and my favorite is from Albert Einstein "Peace can not be kept through force, it can only be achived through understanding". Did you know he used to eat ice cream almost every sunday.

I also have panic attacks. Quite ironic considering my nick name in other aspects of my life. :) I am hoping to get my life together enough to give some of that good feed back I tried to give in the past. One good peice.... Things do get better. Even though some times it seems like they won't. Everyone hurts some time, everyone has pain. It is very very hard to deal with it alone. The world would be a much better place if if there were more free dating agencies. I think so much depression in life stems from lonliness. If lonley people were matched up with a compatible person maybe they'd get along, fall in love and live happily ever after..... :) Wishful thinking. But if I was in government I'd invest some money in the concept. I think it would pay dividends in less mental health issues. Pluse shyster dating agencies would finally be forced to pick up their game or go broke.

I will be coming to the US in June. Probably visiting New York, Washington and Virginia. Possibly Allentown and Hartford as well. Apart from Betsy who is in New Jersy, is there anyone else around those areas. It might be nice to say hello or even share a hug.

Cheers all,
Girlyboy.

[Betsy]

Hey GB...

First off...I'm really happy that Romana was your well intentioned and forceful angel and succeeded at bringing you back.

I'm sure you know by now that all of us were quite worried about you and I for one, am so grateful you are still with us. I'm sure you also know by now that I took a pretty drastic step in calling Australia (based upon clues you had written :-) I hope that was ok, but I would never have forgiven myself if I didn't.

Apart from Betsy who is in New Jersy, is there anyone else around those areas. It might be nice to say hello or even share a hug.

I'm actually about 10 minutes from Allentown :p

Let me know when it is. I'm speaking at a bunch of Pride Events in June so I want to make sure I keep some time open for you.

Betsy

[Wyn]

Girlyboy

I'm about 60 miles from NYC, and can be on your route to Hartford - I'm just off the highway and easy to find. It would be great to meet and share 'stories'.

Wyn

[c j]

Hi Girlyboy

Just signed up to the forum,like you I also have an extra chromosome,what part of Australia do you live in,I am in Sydney.I realize your post in a couple of months old at this stage so I am not sure if you are still paticipating in the forum.Somewhere that I have found to be extremely beneficial is http://www.gendercentre.org.au/

Hope you are still here and look forward to chatting with you.

C J

[Girlyboy]

Sorry for taking forever to reply CJ. I am not online much these days. I would very much like to chat with you if you're still about. Thanks,
GB.

Hi Girlyboy

Just signed up to the forum,like you I also have an extra chromosome,what part of Australia do you live in,I am in Sydney.I realize your post in a couple of months old at this stage so I am not sure if you are still paticipating in the forum.Somewhere that I have found to be extremely beneficial is http://www.gendercentre.org.au/

Hope you are still here and look forward to chatting with you.

C J

[Shodan]

I'm a fellow aussie,
I used to post frequently, but I just visit time to time,

I guess I come here just to remind myself I'm not alone, good bunch of people aren't they?

Oh the only other reason I don't visit as much is cuz I got a job to keep me occupied and I'm concentrating on my driving these days, going for my Ps in October!!!

CJ,
I've visited the gender centre in Syd, loved the people there! So open-minded, so chatty, I was only there a few hours but it did me a world of good!

I'm from Newcastle btw,
Looks like I'm moving to Syd nxt yr with a friend!!!