Coming out

[Arclight]

Hi, I dont want to give my name, but here's my story

i live in europe, and ive been gay for the majority of my life, im 17.

ive been trying to come out to my parents for so long, but im scared my dad will get angry, idk if ill be able to do it, does anyone have any suggestions to help?

my partner said he would be there if needed me, but i think that would only make my dad more mad

any help would be great, thank you all so much

[des10ed2b]

it all really depends on how you parents feel about gayness in general. is you think your dad may get mad, then it may be better to tell your mom first and then have her there for support to tell your dad. if your parents are anything like my husband, sometimes its best to write a letter or e-mail, because you dont get a word in edge wise with them interrupting with their opinions on it all. whatever you do, just make it very clear that you have been very afraid to tell them, because you are scared that they will get mad and be disappointed in you. any parent who hears that from their child at least tones it down. kids dont want to be a disappointment to their parents and parents dont want to disappoint their kids.

i know exactly how you feel though. i remember debating on telling my parents that i was bi. its a hard struggle. i got caught. so that was my explanation. but to this day my mom says "its a phase" even though it happened 10 years ago and my dad just doesnt acknowledge it at all.

[JOS]

In my experience you can never predict how people are going to take "difficult" news
plus you never know what they already know!!!
so, unfortunately, you can only play it by ear at the time.

when I found out I was a woman with internal testes the doctor told me "you don't HAVE to tell your husband... not all men would be able to come to terms with this"

..... it's difficult but I felt that I hadn't actually changed in any physical way it that 20min consultation but I was really worried that he might think I'd known all along and not told him.... I felt it would be lying not to tell him and if he couldn't handle it then I would just have to cope somehow.

If you 'choose' to share, remember that you haven't actually changed.... you're the same person you were before

just be prepared, people don't take much in during a 'shock' moment, so this news may not sink in for a day or two. They may want to have a longer chat at a later date once they've had time to think about what you've told them...

you might also want to try to think about how YOU feel about certain issues that they might raise.... so you can reassure them

welcome to BLO and good luck

.... but just a little thing... this is a site for people affected by intersex conditions not sexuality per se.... so you might find another site provides better more appropriate support and advice :D

[Kailana]

Just wanted to add, that it is likely one or both of your parents allready suspect or know, and are waiting for you to tell them. Could also be, what they fear, so take it easy and slow with them. Comming out isn't easy on you and won't be easy on them either, but hopefully they will understand. If not, try not to let it get to you, might just take some time for them to understand who you are and what your saying.

Best wishes