sexual orientation poll

[Betsy]

part Two

Before you make an entry into the above poll, please read the following post:

Sexual orientation poll (http://www.bodieslikeours.org/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=23)

It will explain why I am asking this question. Thanks.

If you have had homosexual experiences, have you ever experienced rejection because of your genital anomolies?

You can write me personally or if you prefer to answer anonymously, you can select the poll. If you write a personal reply, I will likely write back with further questions about your experiences. No identifying information will be included in the paper if it is published. All information shared will be kept in the strictest of confidence.

[Jamie]

I have tried homosexual experiences. Psychologists are trying to convince me that I am gay, so I try to "?fit in?" with the determination. This goes to my other problem that I am trying to get answered. I suspect that I was born intersex because of a couple of scars. I see myself as a woman though.

See, under the penis, there is a scar running its complete length. In addition, behind the scrotum, there is another scar that lines up perfectly with the scar on the penis.

This was just a brief insight as to how doctors are treating their patients and there is certainly more to this, but no room here. Please contact me if you need more information and are willing (and able) to help me figure this whole mess out.

[Unregistered]

Yes I'm a lesbian and yes I have been rejected by another woman because of my medical condition. It does hurt but I do move on and deal with it the best I can. I do have

[Unregistered]

I have never been rejected due to my intersex condition, BUT, I undergo an extreme amount of stress before intimacy. I have to really psych myself up to have "the talk" with someone I want to be intimate with.

[Cindy]

I find that discussing the situation as soon as possible is the best way. No secrets no lies just the truth as soon as possible before the heart gets to close for possible rejection.

[Freewriterr]

Betsy,

I was rejected by the lesbian community when I came out that I was not female and chose to spend my life male. They felt that I was a traiter or something I suppose. I also have to say that it is not like my life did not go more main stream. I think for the most part "strait" intersexed and trans men tend to melt into society after coming to terms with their identity and being allowed to recieve the correct treatment for correcting their self presentation. Of course this is a broad statement and does not hold true always.

I have never had a sexual relationship with a lesbian but have had sex with bi sexual women in the past. This was not something I did as a choice, it just turned out that way. It did honestly puzzle me. But even before i transitioned to a full male presentation I had women attracted to me that viewed themselves strait and found themselves confused by me...because society said I was female, until later on of course.

Now the reason I word it that way is important. As a Sociologist researcher, the work I have done for many years focuses on self presentation. There is a excellent Sociologist name Denzin that writes some great stuff on self presentation. You should read some of his work!

My theory, which is supported by his theory is that self presentation has more importants than does facts, or what is called social realities.

The whole thing that is attributed to "Passing" for Trans people is based not just on the physical attributes, but the social behavior/ gender expression as well. If they do not line up, then the person appears to be "deviant" and is often rejected. However if they do line up, and lets say that the person is in fact Intersexed or Trans, the world does not care, because social reality accepts this persons presentation much more readily. If a person believes something than often it just is. This is collectively speaking too by the way.

I have done extensive field observations on this very thing and at first found it quite amazing. Over time I have come to understand it just a bit better. But for every answer found there are more questions that arise. LOL

I think that there are so many variables with the whole acceptance and rejection of the gay community that it has to really be narrowed down to get a clear understanding of what is going on there. Do you see that the same way?? My work has been primarly, well completely really within the mainstream society. So you are posing an interesting question. Would love to hear what your thoughts are!

Well my winding down time has long sense past and I should get to bed, I have to be up early in the am.

Peace,

Freewriterr

[Natasha]

Thanks for sharing that Free. Very interesting and you made some good points as usual.

I am far more attracted to women than men. In fact I have been attracted to only a few men in my entire life. I guess that makes me bi technically. I have had little experience with males, but several women have broken my heart, inspired me, and become a part of me forever.

Having said that I must confess that there is something about James Garner. It is the weirdest darn thing! His voice, all of him is so, soooo, well 'very' compelling. Kind of makes me feel like, um, not just sexual, can't put my finger on it. Hmmm. Oh I know! I could believe him, and I could in believe in him, and well just melt.

Now that is embarrassing, and I find this very puzzling. The only romantic dream I have ever had was staring, yep, James Garner. It was so darn real, so vivid, so absolutely perfect. I was so safe and fulfilled. I will never forget it. Like it happened yesterday, but that was years ago.

Hmmm. I don't know if I am going to post this. I mean my picture and my real name is on it. Truth is, if he ever walked up to me and asked me out. I would say, ........ YES!

Oh what the hey. Let freedom ring.

[Freewriterr]

Hey Natasha!

There is no shame in letting freedom ring! James Garner huh? That is sooo funny, people used to say my dad looks like him! LOL

Peace,

Free

[Natasha]

Yep, James Garner. There is even a commercial on TV in which only his voice is featured, the video is of something else. I recognized his voice instantly. Even his voice gets to me.

Well I guess I am bi. Huh. Well what do ya know.

Nice to hear from you Free. =)

[Wohali]

If I had to date a man it would be the guy that stars in the Sci-Fi Channel show First Wave. Or if I had to BE a man I would dress, act & look like the guy from First Wave. Kinda reminds me of Canadian rocker Corey Hart.

But I really much prefer women. Always have. Never was a question in my mind about which gender I am attracted to. Anyone familiar with Kate Bush the British singer/songwriter/dancer? Now there's a real Goddess. She has everything that makes women so sexy... great smile, beautiful eyes, sweet voice, gentle nature, attractive, super-intelligent, strong-willed and talented. Can you tell I like her? :D

Angela

[connie]

Hi
I am a lesbian and have been for 36 years - I have always been attracted to women (since I first layed eyes on my gym teacher) lol I have been in 2 very long relationships - when I first came out - I went to a gay bar and a woman introduced herself to me and we became friends at first - then I knew it was time to either sleep with her or let go and I was terrified to sleep with her so I tried to let it go but she was insistent and I thought well it's now or never - it was a wonderful experience - mind you she was 42 and I was 20 so she had the experience of an older mature woman and I truly think that her acceptance of me was what it took to make me continue on in my lesbian life so to speak because if she would have rejected me then I think it would have made a big impact on me and I don't think I could have gone on so that was a big stepping stone for me and then I went on to meet a wonderful woman whom I spent 16 years with - when she "dumped" me for another woman - I kinda went into a deep depression and hid in my apt for 6 month just going to work and home then I went on a suicide mission - drinking and sleeping with any woman that said yes - most of the time too drunk to tell them about me before we got intimate and no one really said hey you are different - just some said hey you really have a big clit (no complaints there) and they should only know how much of it was chopped off but no one said anything when I would not let them enter my vagina - they thought well she is one of those butches that don't like to be entered so I let it go at that rather than explaining - then I came to my senses and a friend of mine introduced me to another wonderful woman who I explained everything to when I started having feelings for her - she was quite understanding but quite curious and she admited afterwards that she was scared to death of what to find there lol
but we were together for 18 years andthat ended about 5 years ago and now I am with yet another wonderful woman for the last 2 years and she too is very understandng and came with me to Betsy and Janet's workshop and goes on BLO to try to understand more about me - Therefore I consider myself a pretty lucky woman to have found love not once or twice but thrice and hopefully the last time - I hope I have not been too explicit for some of you but this is my story
Connie
s

[Terr1952]

hey betsy........lol i answered poll before i read post <always was bad at reading instructions first> well i feel the lesbian community,asa whole has always excepted me...as far as sexually...well i was married to a lesbian for over 12yrs...BTW i am F on birthcertificate...anyway she always complained that i reminded her of a man .. i have a enlarged clitoris or should i say did have LOL after 30 it disappered somewhere...BUT I have breast and look mostly like a woman..bk to subject exwife rejected the maleness in me she couldnt stand feeling like she was with a guy..
i am just me i feel morelike a 3rd partie to m/f i choose other not interested in sexual relationship but am open for many new friendships.. DID i answer the subject at hand here LOL ?

[Cherilyn]

Hello y'all.. I'm the newest member.. a day old, I think. I'm 26 yrs old.. Um.. I dont know about lesbian community.. cause actually I'm in my first lesbian relationship at this moment for about 8 months now.. I have never been rejected by any of my ex-boyfriends even I have very little bumps on chest.. um.. I have had about 6 relationships.. long stories but I only told one of them about who I am and I was totally accepted and treated like a Queen.. and currently lover.. she heard the gossip before.. we shared one of communities, the one I try to avoid.. and she accepted totally of who I am and love & support me 100% and encourage me to learn more about myself when I discovered a website of my 'kind' two nights ago.. and learned alot.. never knew that there's people like me out there, even near my area.. I'm lookin' forward to meet someone like me.. Um.. I learned that my vagina might isn't "normal", I haven't ask my babe if if it is but she mentioned that all vagina aren't same.. I could have had one relationship for eternity or 100 dates if I had a great self-esteem of myself all my life..

Since I discovered my "world".. my confidence in who I am will grow more stronger.. Thanks for just being there..

[Betsy]

i am just me i feel morelike a 3rd partie to m/f i choose other not interested in sexual relationship but am open for many new friendships.. DID i answer the subject at hand here LOL ?

Yeah, well...bad polling. Originally I posted the poll because I was supposed to write a paper about intersex people who identify as lesbian. Unfortunately, I missed the deadline. I probably should have added "not interested" but at the time, it didn't seem germane to the goals of the paper. I'm still hoping to write a paper based upon the poll and will then try to get someone to publish it. It will also come in handy for the book I am going to write some day :p

Cherilyn, welcome! LOL...I only have lil bumps too.

Betsy

[Terr1952]

Welcome cherilyn
hey i have big bumps and i do legally fall intolesbian category...i think :) anyway i had relationship (lesbian) for 12+ yrs..
what i was trying to say was YES ive been accepted by ALL gays andlesbians except my ex :)
now i better stop here before i get us all more confused LOL thanks betsy and janet for ALL your work to get us all connected.

[Jules]

I wanted to say welcome!! I just moved in with my new girlfriend a few months ago so I have not had much time to be on line being that I'm in school and I only have a dial up connection, for now. I realy like your posts and would love to PM you and talk about our unqueness, but for now I will just say hello, and welcome

[Cherilyn]

Thanks!
I welcome PM very much!!
So, PM me already!!!

Cherilyn