New To All Of This

[reillaway]

Hi All-

I am a 26 years old female and for the first time I'm ready to find out exactly what it is that has hindered me for so long. The problem is I'm not sure where to start and the questions to ask. I know the best place would be my parents, but I don't feel I get the right answer, almost like all my questions are being dodged. I think that there afraid to tell me all the details and that's what I want.

I had my first surgery when I was very young, but it wasn't enough or the doctor didn't do it right. When I was 18 I had my second surgery, and I've been afraid to find out exactly why, what was wrong and who I was or even what I was. I recently met a woman that has brought out a whole new side to me and she encourages me to seek answers, and assures me that what I see as a fault she embraces. So what I'm looking for is answers, and I know that you can't give me all of that, but maybe a start, or at least where to turn. I would love to chat with other women or men about this, about them and what they have done. I want to be a stronger person I want to be proud and I don't want to hesitate because I'm afraid that I won't be accepted because I'm different then someone else.

Alex

[Jules]

Hi Alex! Hay thats my dogs name. You have a right to your medical records, get them. It might answer more questions then yor parents can alone. What type of surgery did you have?

M name is Julanne by the way. The thing I find about being intersexed is that I have very diffrent sides to my personaity. A male side that had been suppressed for twenty-nine years because I never knew he was even there. He is very child like and Ive only begun exsploring that very underdeveloped side to my self. I have a lesbian side to my female personality that is the brains and logic of me. And I have a femmie girly side who is bisexual. Although she dosen't have quite the logic of my lesbain side she is very emotional. Before I new of my condition I realy thought I was crazy being boyish one day girlish another and had fights with myself about my sexual tastes and wants. learning the truth about myself help me to put each personalty in its proper place. The other intersexed people who I have met understand what I go through. I think that if you are inersexed you should know it. Everyone here is realy gifted in one way or another and I hope you can make some new friends and find more about youself in your quest for truth. If I can help let me know otherwise, Welcome to our world :D

[reillaway]

Thanks for the vote of confidence. Actually my medical records was what I was working on, I know that will answer most of my questions, and help me deal with alot of my emotions. I've had a hard time with all of this, and I know that once I find exactly what I'm looking for, I won't be insecure about being me.

[Az1]

Hi and welcome to bodies like ours.

This site is unknown to alot of individuals who want answers on a subject that is not taught.

I feel your wanting to know up front is a great start.
I had found out thru modern medicine that I am Intersexed the same way modern medicine decided to pick my gender for me at an age that if no one talked about it I would never find out .
What a life not to know something about myself that i knew was not what the norm was but then find out , That I am not fucked up.
Gosh I spent alot of wasted time seeking a way out. Trying to rid myself of someyhing that i was not. I grew up a very lonely person , I was well sheltered and when I was turned out to society to live All I wanted to do was hide.
I have also spent alot of wasted time trying to find someone I could talk too. I am still looking by the way. Someone who would at least try to encourage rather than destroy. Your friend you speak of has been enlightened with encouragement from within I would take this individuals advice and listen .
I do not have one specified gender, and I do not posses one of equal value. I am not rich and do not own any thing but my own destination.
for what has been done has been done.
I hope you find answers you seek and please do ask we do want to share.

Have a Nice Day

Az1

Muhoe

[Betsy]

Hi Alex,

I'm wondering if you have contacted any hospitals or doctors that may have "treated" you when you were young? That is usually the first step in getting medical records.

You will probably have to pay copying fees for them.

Betsy

[reillaway]

Betsy-

I haven't contacted the hospitals, but I have contacted my current primary care physician. The fees are nothing to me, but finding out who I am means alot.

Alex

[Betsy]

Hi Alex,

He/she may or may not be able to get them for you (but will say that if he/she is willing to attempt it, then you got a good one there!)

Usually it only involves writing a letter to the records dept of the hospital and requesting them. You may also want to call ahead of time to find out the proper person to write to and any special requirements they may have (i.e notarized letter, etc)

Good luck!

Betsy

[Az1]

Better have a handwritting analysis done.
I cannot even read mine, must be a sign.

Az1
Muhoe

[beach]

hi alex ,and welcome, p.s you already know who you are, beach

[reillaway]

Very good point Beach, but now to be able to accept and not run from it any more.

[beach]

aaaaahhhh this one learns quick... verry good grasshopper...... beach

[gismo729]

finally knowing who and what u r sometimes does make easier to accept. but ur right that if u have the evidence in front of u u can not run away from it but sometimes it can be very taxing emotionally to come to grips with it

[reillaway]

I don't believe the emotions will be any more taxing then what I've faced the last few years. I feel like I have hit my lows when it comes to people and there reactions to me, and for them to have no clue how bad there comments tear me down.