Needing Guidance in Syracuse NY

[GoldenVoicedGal]

Well, I did it. I spilled the beans. I told my gynecologist. And now I need some advice.

We sat down & had a nice talk, a follow up after my first visit. We discussed various issues. She thinks I'm depressed & should be on anti-depressants. I brought up my sexuality & the struggles I'm having with it. Then I showed her my birth certificate & health certificate & pointed out the different sex assignments. That didn't sway her that I was IS. I told her about the microphallus etc. That didn't sway her either. Then I told her that I pee out of two places & offered to show her or a nurse. At that point, she decided to have selective amnesia & say that I was just anxious.

But she DID offer to do a karyotype on me & other tests & I went for the bloodwork. It was complicated because it has to be sent to a state University hospital & they needed the proper forms, but they did it. I could hear a lot of hushed whispers in the office around my name & in the blood lab they got it out for testing even before I left! I asked her to copy of the results. She SAID yes. I asked her to promise me that if the results came back anything other than 46XX, she would refer me to another physician if she didn't feel comfortable. She SAID she wasn't that kind of doctor, I was her patient & it would be ok.

What do you all think? She obviously wants to think there's nothing wrong & I'm just imagining things & "be a good girl & take your med" & all that. Is that a good thing? Should I be happy that she's sticking her head in the sand? I AM a perfectionist & an idealist & in my ideal world she would have taken it a little more seriously by NOT implying that I'm dreaming it up. Should I just go with the flow & play good little subservient patient? Is this what I should expect from a gynecologist?

I would appreciate any input you can give. Thank you.

Sarah.

[Neil]

Well Sarah,

I'm not sure what your gyno's intentions were by responding in such an aloof manner, but I do think it is a good sign that she was willing to have all sorts of tests etc...done. She may not be aware of what your intentions are upon the discovery of an IS condition if this is what results. Do you know where you were going with your conversation with the gyno? Are you just unsatisfied without concrete evidence of the way you are, or do you feel you may be transexual. If this is a topic that is just coming up for you, there is so many facts...and then soo many factors and options to be played out, it is no wonder that you are depressed. If you don't see a therapist now, I think your doctor was right on in suggestiong you pursue your option there as well. I hope this helps a little...but don't feel shy to let me know if it doesn't.

Neil

[uriela]

Hi Sara!

I hope you get a copy of your bloodwork. I've wished that I did. It MIGHT tell you something. My GP just tells me that everything is in the "normal" range for a male. Well, not any more.

Does this go beyond your general concern for your health? Anything specific? Sometimes writing down what we are worried about helps.

There is so much for a doctor to know. Most of them do tend to specialize, even if they are GPs or gynes. I look at medical sites and am really at a loss. Maybe she does not want to admit her ignorance. Even if there is nothing wrong with not knowing everything.

From what you have said about your history, it sounds as if a karyotype would have been definitive. Yeah, and expensive!

For now, what can you do but wait and see? The seed has been planted and it takes a bit for it to sprout.

I admire your courage.

Many blessings!

[Glenn]

I agree with Neil; it sounds like your doc was completely floored by your revelations, and she was grasping at straws not to sound baffled.

Most doctors I've encountered will 1) assume you don't know or shouldn't believe what your body is telling you, and 2) assume since you didn't get an MD, you can't possibly understand medical terminology or do any research on your own.

IMHO, stay away from the antidepressants unless you're in danger of hurting someone. Otherwise they'll just turn you into a zombie.

And uriela is right - push to get a copy of your lab results. You own them, not the doctor!

Bravo for having the guts to face your doc...I'm proud of you!

Glenn

[Neil]

Hello again,

I just wanted to give my humble opinion about the anti-depressants...they don't all turn you into a zombie...and if they are what you need then you certainly won't feel like a zombie. I am giving you this opinion based on my own experience with many different types of psychotropic meds, and the ones I need have no bad effects whatsoever. I think it is just the bad rap that mental illnesses get that cause people to shy away from things that may potentially be helpful, even if it is only temporary. There is absolutely no difference in needing a pill to increase your serotonin level and needing a pill to increase your insulin level. So, please stay open to your options and give yourself the best care you can.

Neil

[Natasha (again)]

Originally posted by Neil
Hello again,

There is absolutely no difference in needing a pill to increase your serotonin level and needing a pill to increase your insulin level. So, please stay open to your options and give yourself the best care you can.

Neil

I agree with Neil, but Glenn has point also I think. Those who don't need antidepressants, do get zombied out by them. But those who do have a chemical imbalance, respond very well to them.

I also agree that mental illness is just another physical syndrome, which needs physical treatment often. The stigma of it, is inappropriate, and may really cost you if you refuse needed care.

It is nothing to be ashamed of, just as being intersexed is not.

All the best, :)

Natasha

[GoldenVoicedGal]

Thank you all for giving you input to my post!

Neil asked: Do you know where you were going with your conversation with the gyno? Are you just unsatisfied without concrete evidence of the way you are, or do you feel you may be transexual.
I would like concrete evidence of what I am both to make a decision on my sexual orientation & gender expression & also to know what to do health-wise. I'm now beginning to think about the remote possibility of a FTM transition, but that's very remote because I'm boyish-looking but not butch-behaving (in fact quite femme). I've begun to think that, if I wanted a partner or companion, I might be more comfortable with an FTM & with myself being a femme lesbian. I'm now going to make an appointment with a lesbian psychologist in my area I've been meaning to contact, instead of the "house" psychologist who works under my gyno, & I hope it goes well.

I agree with Uriela's statement: Maybe she does not want to admit her ignorance. Yes, she seemed a bit scared to me. And I wonder whether her ordering the test was a CYA move. I'd never thought that she might be doing it to prevent being sued in the future. I would like to ask her at my next appt (Oct 17) just how much she knows about IS conditions.

As for antidepressants, you won't believe how relevant your comments were. I told her I'd try Celexa & got the prescrip. I took 2 (over 2 days) this past week & I just now have recovered from: heart palpitations, joint pain, dizziness, fatigue, feeling like a ZOMBIE, loss of memory & a very dry mouth. Spent the past 3 days in bed. Oh & I discovered a new use for Celexa. I had a zit on my lip & over the 2 days it completely dried out. Who knew it was an acne drug? Never again will I take it though. I'm not that depressed.

Blessings to everyone. Sarah.

[uriela]

Ah, Celexa!

Now I wish that I had kept a diary. I think by the time I took it I already had had short term memory loss, disorientation, rapid heart beat, etc. I was told it was not for everyone but that I could drop off the doses or raise them. I needed it because I did improve after that, but it took more than a few days. A few weeks, then a few months, then a year. Maybe the rapid heart rate was caused by it. ???
Obviously, from your case, it is not for everybody. I did not have those early reactions you had and I was already a disaster in progress.

I stopped taking it after a significant drop in my testosterone level and rise in my estradiol level. Now I am a bit worried I am becoming depressed again, but it was nothing like what it was!

They start off slow to see if things do improve. Later on, thiings might change to a way the patient might not like and they might want to back off. If the patient still wants to proceed, it is a significant sign that they are doing the right thing. Of course it might not be something we would prefer, but it pays to be sure.

Many blessings!

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