View Full Version : Saying goodbye.
Natasha (again)
10-22-03, 11:15 AM
Just saying goodbye to all of you here. I really have spent way too much time and effort posting here, especially considering that nobody bothers to read my posts.
Message received.
Natasha
what a cop-out! geeeese i write stuff and it will be weeks before someone says something ... but i dont give up...beach
Yeah, please don't go Tasha. You invited me here.
Natasha please, the posts here can be slow but I have read all your posts and have spent some time e-mailing you privately. I do get overwelmed with school and work so I'm slow to post myself, but I don't think that it's anybodys elses fault if you don't want to post anymore. A lot of people here value your two cents you should value it too. :( No matter who does not reply
HUHH!! I see how you are:mad:
um. what prompted this?
i think you get some good responses.
for instance on your surgery post people went and researched that doctor to try to find info for you.
on most boards, people wouldnt even do stuff like that.
Natasha (again)
10-23-03, 03:42 AM
No I have not been rethinking my decision to leave. I was curious to see if any replies would be the sort I expected, and for the most part they are.
Now bearing in mind that friends don't even need an explanation. I can't help but notice, that people here wont even accept the explanation I did offer.
Oddly enough, lately what I have been rethinking, is what I consider really a friend to be. While there have been a few here who have been nice to me, and others polite, and even one or two who have been helpful upon occasion. That is but friendly, or friend like, but this is not what friends are made of. Friends are people who actually help you bury the body, not those who merely hope you don't get the death penalty.
For some time now I have been considering leaving. I have wrestled back and forth with my feelings about it, and after reading the replies here, I remain content with my decision. For friends don't need an explanation, and your enemies will never accept one anyway. It is clear to me now, it would have been something eventually anyway, no mater what.
So I being very friendly toward you all, do wish you well and the very best of everything, and also I bid you goodbye. Baring my very soul and laboring to write from my very heart in threads which are followed by banal, off topic, nonsense and cut up humor, is an obvious waste of my time. I deserve far better.
Natasha
PS
To Meresa, whom I have really been there for and supported through thick and thin, when nobody else would.
Yes Meresa I did invite you, and I greeted you warmly upon your arrival. What was your response to my greeting? It was while on the surface friendly, yet a very brusque four words. Later in another thread, I asked you how long we had been friends. What was your reply then? Why nothing at all, but dead silence. Upon your arrival at my invitation, you also wrote of how normal you are, not queer in any way, and you do not want to be associated with people like that. All while maintaining an aloof posture toward me.
I feel strongly that your remarks about queer people and your vehemence in distancing yourself from them, considering the venue, are extremely insensitive and self serving. It is clear that you are ashamed of me, and so I now find myself disgusted with you.
claraJane
10-23-03, 07:54 AM
No Natasha, you're wrong. A friend wouldn't help bury the body. A true friend would plead with you to turn yourself in.
"Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses."
Natasha, this is a support site. Isn't support why you came? Is it really support for us always to tell you how great your posts are? Isn't it better, rather, to be told things that will help you to heal? You've been through some terrible things in your life. Isn't it worth a little pain to get better?
Having suffered as you have, does it surprise you so much that others may have suffered as well? And that they may try to mask the hurt and cheer you up with "nonsense and cut up humor?"
Friends don't cut and run either, Natasha, not every time their feelings are hurt or every time they aren't coddled.
Natasha, I help you when I can. I will continue to do so as I have time. Please don't play games. If you want support then stay and be reconciled. I, for one, will be glad that you did.
your friend,
cjs
Let me say first that your posts to bodies have been very helpfull to me and to other members, and I'm sure helpfull to yourself because we are allowed to vent some fustration here. I injoyed our emails and did look foward to talking to you again but now I feel betrayed.
First off, this is not the Breakfast Club! If we happen to find that we become friends with others members here then all the more power to us, but the main point of bodies is:
1# To share storys so we don't feel so alone.
2# To give support to those who are struggling with
intersexualism.
3# to make aware that to many doctors mutulate intersexed children.
Now the order might not be correct, but this is what bodies is NOT.
1#It is not a place to show disgust to the other members.
2#It is not a place to criticize the members for posting or not
posting.
3# it is the wrong place to label people as friends or non friends.
Any of these issues can be talked about on a PM to the person you have a problem with.
Also, if you thought before hand that you were going to leave us anyway... then it was "you" who was wasteing our time.
It is "you" who is leaving "us" to bury the body, while you hit the high road and hope "we" don't get the death penalty, as you put it.
The truth is you don't have any "good reason" to blame us for your goodbye, but because it takes the blame off "yourself" for leaving a unhappy message, and leaving us in general, you feel better by telling us that you didn't make any friends here.
Your are "sour grapes" Natasha, I wished I could have talked to on PM because I don't realy feel comfortable saying this in front of everone else, but you left me no choice.
I "like" the members of bodies and I will defend them all, even if they all are human, and do things that humans do.
"You" are a human too Natasha, just like me
You think that you deserve "better" the support that bodies gives?
Goodbye.. Natasha .. I'm sorry you feel this way. :confused:
Tasha,
I dont know where you get this impression that I am ashamed of you. I have never been. Not in the four years we have been friends.
I am sorry that I am unable reply in detail to each and every post that you write. That does not mean that I am ignoring you. To be frank, I joined the board more for social/support reasons -to know that there are others with "bodies like mine" and that I am not alone- and less to talk exclusively about intersex.
I have nothing against the glbt community at all. I am just not a lesbian myself (not that there's anything wrong with that!!). FWIW I do have a pretty wide variety of friends (including you): some gay, some straight, some married, some single, some goth, etc. Just because I do not move in glb circles, it does not mean I have anything against them. It has nothing to do with phobia, and a lot to do with a lack of common interests and issues. I am sorry that you interpret that as "vehemently distancing myself". when in reality is simply a case of you and I having different interests.
Example: I myself am an aquaphile. I am activelly involved with the aquaphile community. I like that, because there are others like me with which we share a common interest. When I lived in MA, I also enjoyed hanging with the Goths in Harvard Square. Now, if you were to say you had no interest in such things, I would not think you to be "ashamed" of me, because you didn't associate with those crowds and I did. Get real.
I said it before and I will say it again. I am not, and never have been ashamed of you. Whether or not you decide to remain "disgusted" with me is entirely up to you.
what is a aquaphile????
Does that mean you like to swim?
It sounds like a dirty word:D
Natasha,
The world does not revolve around you. People did answer and reply with you but I guess it wasn't enough to keep you happy.
As Clara Jane so clearly stated, as a support site, it is unfair to everyone to think that it is anything beyond that. People get as involved or as uninvolved as they are comfortable with. Some flutter in and out only once every few months.
You're dedication to the cause was illustrated quite clearly yesterday morning with the email concerning your monthly donation:
Please remove my automatic pay account to Bodies Like Ours. Make no further attempts to deduct donations from my bank
Betsy
Natasha (again)
10-23-03, 06:41 PM
Originally posted by Betsy
Natasha,
You're dedication to the cause was illustrated quite clearly yesterday morning with the email concerning your monthly donation:
quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Please remove my automatic pay account to Bodies Like Ours. Make no further attempts to deduct donations from my bank
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Betsy
A perfect example of why I really stopped my automatic donation.
It is not for a lack of dedication on my part. It is about lack of my trust of your character, your emotional immaturity, and your lack of sound judgment. It is for these reasons I will not donate to your organization.
I will not be posting any of our private emails here to make a point. You do not have to worry about that. Yet this your reply here, certainly does belie your denial of having a problem with me now doesn't it? You see now I know who is who, among those I met here. It was well worth the risk.
As for the faithful wounds of a friend, and the deceitful kisses of an enemy ClaraJane. Funny thing is. That has always come to my mind about you. As Jesus said. "In as much as you did it not unto the least, you did it not unto me." So sometimes it is about what we refuse to do. For the opposite of love is not hate. No, the opposite of love is neglect.
Natasha
So, I pop into the site, to see if there's any new messages. And this is what I see. I'm not sure what to say.
Natasha, what exactly did you expect from everyone here? It seems to me you may have been expecting too much.
You said "A friend is someone who will help you hide the body." (or something like that. I'd say a friend would not put you in the position of having to help them hide a body.
I'd go on, but in these situations I can become rather harsh, and I don't want to have anything like that posted for all posterity.
All, I have taken the extraordinary measure of banning a user for the first time in the history of this board.
I believe that the accusations and disrespect against members of this community lobbed by this person (and it isn't the first time) is not conducive to the type of support enviroment we try to create here.
People come here for support, not to be accused of self-imagined falsehoods.
This thread is now locked.
Betsy
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