introduction

[Dana Gold]

Hi,

I'm Dana and I'd like to introduce myself.
My biography is much too long and complex, so I would just like to convey my sentiments and vent a bit. I have been recently diagnosed with hypergonado-
tropic hypogonadism after it was initially thought by my endo that I had Kleinfelter's according to lab test/physical exam and history ( female secondary sex characteristics at puberty, male hormone administrations ) I am also transgendered (TG) and in the process of "transition" to female. My support group (TG) thinks I am lucky because of my pear shape, young looks, and with minimal estrogen only (no anti-androgens), my FSH and LH have been nrmal range and testosterone has been at 40-50. Before the T was low normal and gonadotropins 3-4 X top of normal range. However I cannot say that I fit the classic "profile" of either intersex nor transexual (TS) since I have not cross-dressed much at all prior to my decision to change, nor fit the "pattern", so to speak and I wasn't born with ambiguous parts/internal mixed (microphallus and small testes though). This may sound weird to some but I don't seem to relate someties to most of my support group and it's hard for them to understand how I feel about my body and the weird results I got from the male hormones...I am not lucky. The surgery I had at 7 yrs old upon my arrival to USA actually was corrective in that I had overgrowths of foreskin and closing of the meatus, but I'm snide about it all because I have no sensation down there, most likely because Army doctors did it ( my stepfather was Army ) What I'm really trying to convey is that I don't feel lucky because I suffered physical and sexual abuse during childhood and to this day my mother, other than admitting that I did indeed receive hormones in youth, won't talk about what happened during my childhood further, but I know how I was and the trouble in school I had. I have/have had endured negativity from people the last 2 yrs, especially within the medical community. I read some posts where Drs seemed reluctant to deal with those who came to them for help, I have been "ring around the rosey" with them, some after having reviewed my test results, actually denied my condition was real..."you're ok, nothing's wrong here" AND I having knowledge of some endocrinology knew they were "passing the buck (patient)" , denying the obvious. One outright rejected me.
I have been through 3 doctors and 2 medical groups before one endocrinologist finally acknowledged my condition...no doubt transphobia played a big part, but I have sensed that they were/are afraid to venture administration of female hormones to me due to the hyper/hypo thing, so it was actually MORE difficult for mr to get doctors to see me for the TS regimen, plus I have osteoporosis (better due to estrogen and supplements), broken many bones , and my teeth are brittle & crumbly..I have hardly no molars left and will have to get dentures in the future. I am aware of a certain schism between the TS and IS "communities"... I'm not here to pass myself off as anything other than what I have shared on this post but I do so wish to communicate with others, not just to vent, but to share, to learn, and talk openly. Anyway, bye for now. Love and hugs to all.

[Glenn]

Hi Dana,

Welcome to BLO! Many of us have found this a good place to vent and chat and stuff.

I was diagnosed by one doc as having a milder form of hypogonadism but another disagreed - I don't know what's going on at this point. :confused:

I don't really see a schism between IS and TS - just different perspectives. From what I see, many TS people view gender as polar - I'm physically A but feel like a B. Most IS people seem to view gender as a continuum, but certainly whether we present to the world as male or female is a big shift superficially. (I have yet to see a form with an option other than Male or Female!)

Glenn

[Dana Gold]

I guess what I meant by schism between IS and TS was not in reference to gender. And perhaps schism was the wrong word since I got the idea of misunderstanding between the groups from reading about it from various sources. Personally I view all of humanity (sexual, anatomic, physiologic, and gender ) as the spectrum of light. In between the "poles" are multitudes of progressive hues and some of those hues (primary colors) can be blended into more multitudinous colors. Poles is even erroneous since the spectrum is really a circle..one pole rejoining the other point and vice versa. However, it is human nature to create compartments and social (or otherwise) groups for self-identity, sharing of commonalities (physical or spiritual), or community support. And thus, "poles" (norms) may be created also.
But sometimes the groups (as in the spectrum) blend or overlap and you have elements of the two primaries. It is human nature to regard the "blends" with some suspicion..or outright fear, and it is the extreme of this fear and consequent rejection or defensive perimetering that tends to make problems in human society and further. It is especially disturbing to me when one group decides to "correct" and control another, usually by physical and psychological means..but enough now. Once I get started on social injustice I get carried away. Bye.