i'm new here

[deadlyintention]

hello,
i'm new here, dont know what to say. other than i'm 100% confused about who and what i am. i have congenital adernial hypoplasia, adhd, and i'm dislexic. i just need someone to talk to. i'd rather be dead most of the time. i stay stressed out all the time and i have basically 0 friends where i live.

[C-R]

Hi,

I'm so glad that you posted. I know that it can be very tough at times. Please feel free to express yourself here, we are here for support and to help. As hard as it may be, try not to think of CAH, ADHD and dislexia as a bad thing or disability. You are a unique and special individual! My son also has dislexia and ADD, so I know that it can be very difficult, but I've seen positive things in this as well. Welcome to the list and know that we are here for you.

God bless,
CR

[Betsy]

I have congenital adrenal hyperplasia as do a few others who visit the board. I don't know how similar it is to hypoplasia though. I know how it feels to be alone though because I think all of us here have been there.

I think you'll find some friends here. Welcome.

Betsy

[deadlyintention]

i'm glad someone reads these things. hypo means doesnt make enuff and hyper means makes to much. i also found out some other things about myself lastnight that i didnt know, like i was born intersexed . it explains some of the problems i have been having but not all of them. so now i really dont know what i am or was supposed to be. it was nice finding someone who relates...sorda.

[Az1]

Hi Friend,
If that is what I may call you . True Friends are few and far in between.
I too , lack friends and most of the time I am lonely.
I have tried to explain myself of my indifference to people I thought were my friends and they vanish as quick as the wind.

Then I think , What did I say , did I say something that hurt them.

I am then left bewildered.

I hope you can find more friends , everyone needs one.

I am Az 1.

Muhoe

[Betsy]

Hi D-

like i was born intersexed

Don't let society's labels scare you. That's all it really is--a label.

Best,

Betsy

[Glenn]

Welcome!

You said:

"i really dont know what i am or was supposed to be"

I know few people who can answer either of those things, intersexed or not! I'd recommend focusing on the 'what i am' part, and don't worry about the 'supposed to be' part. IMHO, you are 'supposed to be' whatever you decide to make of yourself.

Glenn

[beach]

first be happy with the fact that you ARE, dont wade in the who or what , look inside ! beach.... P.S welcome!!!

[Dandara]

Welcome to our world.

Many of us have only recently begun to understand our unique bodies, but we know all about that "being dead" thing. The isolation can feel suffocating. But take some comfort now knowing that you are not alone.

Betsy's right about the label thing. IS seems to be a convenient moniker, but (at least for me) it is a rather vague and misleading one.

Each person that visits here ~ even if they have the same medical condition ~ is completely their own person in body and soul.

Perhaps it takes another that keenly understands the trauma we suffer of shame and secrecy to provide a "I know how that feels", and you know they really do.

Confusion is a bad starting place, but it's the place we all begin. Learn what you can, apply what is meaningful to you. When it feels like overload, give yourself a break and wait to settle in a bit. If you have questions, this community is a great place to try to get some answers.

[beach]

dandara very,very well put. clap,clap.clap beach

[Glenn]

Well put, Dandara!

I had a revelation about nine years ago about 'being dead' when I started learning body work (massage, etc.). One particularly astute person was just touching me to connect with me, paused after a few minutes, and asked quite simply if I had any connection with my body below the waist. It wasn't accusatory or judgemental, just a simple question. I was floored. And of course, the unspoken answer was 'no.'

She later helped me start working out some of the aftereffects of surgery 15 years earlier. People three feet away from me could literally smell anesthesia leaving my body. And that was the start of my journey to become alive.

Being alive can be a good thing!

Glenn