View Full Version : a nervous hello
MarshallCS
07-01-05, 01:35 AM
Hi everyone
My name is Marshall... I found out about my intersex condition about a year and a half ago, and i'm trying to come to grips with it. I'm really nervous about coming out on a weblist like this just so yall know. I have xx chromosomes, but was raised a male. Right now i'm trying to figure out how to feel more comfortable with my body/mind difference.
My counsellor reccommended this site to me, so i thought i'd say hello
MelissP
07-01-05, 01:45 AM
Hi everyone
My name is Marshall... I found out about my intersex condition about a year and a half ago, and i'm trying to come to grips with it. I'm really nervous about coming out on a weblist like this just so yall know. I have xx chromosomes, but was raised a male. Right now i'm trying to figure out how to feel more comfortable with my body/mind difference.
My counsellor reccommended this site to me, so i thought i'd say hello
Well hello Marshall, it's good to have you here :happy68:
And here I've been feeling so very alone in the world :-)
I hope you enjoy things. And I'm sure there's at least one
person who can empathize with your struggles.
Hi Marshall,
Welcome to Bodies Like Ours. I hope that you enjoy it here. I am glad to hear that your counselor recommended this site to you.
Peter
MarshallCS
07-02-05, 12:46 AM
Thanks everyone...
Life in the last couple of years has been really difficult. Thats about the time when i started female puberty, and its really getting to the point to where its starting to get obvious. My pants don't fit my butt and hips anymore, and my shirts are too tight now.
Its just so scary and it dosen't seem like anyone really understands why i don't wanna go do anything that will expose me
I"m just kinda scared and feel alone.
thanks for writing back
Marsh
MelissP
07-02-05, 02:42 AM
Thanks everyone...
Life in the last couple of years has been really difficult. Thats about the time when i started female puberty, and its really getting to the point to where its starting to get obvious. My pants don't fit my butt and hips anymore, and my shirts are too tight now.
Its just so scary and it dosen't seem like anyone really understands why i don't wanna go do anything that will expose me
I"m just kinda scared and feel alone.
thanks for writing back
Marsh
Hello Marsh,
It's easy to feel alone, but you shouldn't. There are others, and no matter
which path you take there's someone who's been there before, and lived to
tell the tale :-)
If I might posit; your system has already started, and you're letting nature
have it's way, so perhaps you've already made a choice? It's a good thing
to find support, I know just how much of a shock this can be, and one that's
hard to cope with.
Though by the same token, by allowing this to proceed, eventually there
must come a time when the world will know. Your clothing may be tight
now, someday they'll be politely requesting that you wear a bra for the
sake of decency. Secrets can't be kept forever, especially when a familiar
outline can be seen through your clothes.
But please don't be scared. You can make it through. Things may become
unfairly hard for a while, but eventually you start getting a return on your
efforts. After riding the storm out. And in the end, I'd say it's better than
living in a lie that maybe your parents and/or doctors built for you.
If you've got any concerns or questions, or just want to share, please do.
Everyone can be helpful. Or if you feel sheepish just right now, you can
try some private messages. I think you need to post 5 public messages
before you get that feature. So three more to go :-)
So tell me, my dear Marsh. Does it hurt for you? It certainly hurts for me.
Nature never intended syrup to be poured through pinholes ... :sick:
Hi Marsh!
I hope you feel welcome here. And although you may have specific questions, I think you may find answers to questions you did not have previously. I arrived in late fall, and since then, reading the stories of others, I have learned so much, not just about IS issues, but about life itself and what we all so want to achieve. And I have learned that, once I was able to fully accept myself, and projected that new found confidence, others have better accepted me. But we all know that this takes time and the road is not easy.
Your arrival and first posts cause me to ponder what that must feel like, posting for the first time. As a related thought, I imagine the person who walks into a large darkened room, one where there is a bright spotlight on the newcomer, and that person feels exposed and terribly alone, hearing only the echos of their own voice. However, in time, one by one, persons emerge from the shadows until the room is full, and the newcomer finds that they were not alone after all. I wish you only the best in your journey, this being an important step along the way.
Meadow
Hi Marsh
Welcome from me, too! Nobody here is going to bite, and many of us have had similar experiences.
The only thing that I'd add to other people's comments is to work out what _you_ want to do. Making choices to please other people isn't going to make you happy. There are ways of making your body shape less obvious: tight underlayers, patterned baggy tops and loose pants. There might even be ways to slow down or inhibit puberty if you think that more time would be helpful.
Morgan
Hello,
I was diagnosed with Klinefelter's Syndrome in December 2000. I'm a mixed bag of male and female body parts with a brain to match! I have HRT (testosterone) in the form of patches and I've had some surgery (mastectomy and testicular implants).
I guess I joined this group because I'm very lonely, I don't know anyone else who is like me. I'm not looking for a partner, nor a date, just someone to talk to.
Philip
Hi Phillip,
Welcome to Bodies Like Ours. There are many people from Australia who post on this forum. Saying that you are not looking for a partner or a date is always appreciated around here :-) This is a place to share our stories and get emotional support.
Peter
Hi Philip
I don't have KS, but I have (or have had) everything else on your list.... hypogonadism and gynaecomastia, both surgeries and TRT, and you're the first person I've ever come across like that... currently I'm in Ireland, but I'm moving to Sydney later on this year. I was diagnosed in Sydney, too. Australia's a big place, though :)
Er, I hated the patches and moved onto the gel when I could, but I'm not very compliant on using the TRT.
Welcome :)
Morgan
Hello Peter,
Thank you for the welcome.
Philip
Hello Morgan,
Thank you for the welcome.
I live about 200 miles south west of Sydney, in the Southern Tablelands.
I had terrible problems in the beginning with the patches because they caused a dreadful rash and a lot of itching but that seems to have settled down. The gel isn't available here yet but when it arrives I will certainly give it a go!
Philip
Hello Philip
I think that the Therapeutic Goods Administration approved Testogel for the PBS earlier this year, so it should be available very soon. It's far better than the patches. I had the same problems with patches causing rashes. The gel takes little time to apply and doesn't cause any skin reactions. It's also easier to manage your dosage.
The Southern Tablelands are supposed to be a beautiful area, no? I've been to Canberra, Jindabyne and Threadbo, but I've never quite been sure if they're near the Tablelands or not.
Morgan
JanetteVictoria
07-04-05, 07:58 PM
:teeth_smi
My name is Janette and I am 33 from PA. I was born male but raised female and also I did not find out that I was male till I was 28 and I am still trying to find who I am and where I fit in this world where there ONLY seems to be male OR female!
I am also a Christian, born again on June 22, 2003.. Would like to meet others that feel the same and have the same beliefs as I do.
God bless and love you all in...
Christ Jesus.
Hello Morgan,
Yes, Canberra, Jindabyne and Threadbo are all in the Tableands. I live about 1 hour drive north of Canberra.
I'm sorry it has taken me so long to answer this post - I've been very disjointed lately. It's just the usual thing! I don't know whether I'm 'Arthur or Martha' and rather than make the wrong decision I tend to do nothing. And, when I sort out how this site works I will try to post more often and join in a bit more.
Philip
Welcome Philip
I am also XXY and live in Sydney,have you checked out any of the Yahoo groups such as http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/AAKSIS/
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/xxylist/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/xxy-hb2/
Yes, Canberra, Jindabyne and Threadbo are all in the Tableands. I live about 1 hour drive north of Canberra.
Perhaps you live in Goulburn ?
I did some work down that way a number of years back,Woodlawn Mines to be precise,we based ourselves in Goulburn and traveled daily to and from the mine.
Canice.
Hello Canice,
Thank you for the welcome.
Yes, I live in Goulburn.
I was in the xxy-hb2 group for awhile, but when I went to hospital to have the testicular implants, last year, I asked them if I could go to "no mail" while I recovered and I was unsubscribed from the group. I thought this was very unfair and I haven't tried to contact them again.
I will look into the other groups that you have mentioned.
Philip
Hello Philip
You seem to have made a fair few choices already in going through the surgeries. If you feel comfortable posting about your experiences, I wonder how you feel about them.
In my own case, I the orchidectomy was advised by 2 urologists and the implants made me look more 'normal'. But - going through this surgery exacerbated the problems that my (then) partner had with my body and I had a mastectomy/breast reduction largely as a result of those problems.
My partner's idea of 'normal' was different to mine. And, despite an exchange of detailed emails beforehand, my surgeon's idea of the surgery also turned out to be very different to mine (I suppose this is the polite way of putting it...). I've now had 2 revisions and I wish that I hadn't started :/
BLO has really helped me to deal with it. For me, it's partly been a place to write down those experiences when I haven't felt able to talk to many people about them (and there's certainly no-one I know offline in even a remotely similar situation). There are also some great people who've their own experiences and thoughts to contribute. I hope that you find BLO helpful, too.
Morgan
Hi Philip
I asked them if I could go to "no mail" while I recovered and I was unsubscribed from the group. I thought this was very unfair and I haven't tried to contact them again.
The moderator tends to have that effect on people where its either his way or no way,one might best describe him,as being a stubborn old mule,indeed I've had my own share of confrontations with him,so I know exactly what you mean.
Have you ever given any thought to an Australian equivalent of AAKSIS ?
There's a friend of mine across the Tazman who would seriously like to do this and is searching for people who are interested.Its a real shame we do not have similar resources to AAKSIS and IMO,a tad embarrassing,that in the absence of a real support base,it is left to various individuals to fill the void http://klinefeltersyndrome.org/australia.htm
I am sure with the right resources we can improve on this,may I ask, what are your thoughts,if any ?
Canice.
Hello Canice,
I would be very interested in starting an Australian equivalent. I don't have the faintest idea where to begin (or maybe I just have!) and I would need a lot of help with it. So where do we go from here?
Warm hugs and gentle breezes . . .
Philip
Quote:
I asked them if I could go to "no mail" while I recovered and I was unsubscribed from the group. I thought this was very unfair and I haven't tried to contact them again.
The moderator tends to have that effect on people where its either his way or no way,one might best describe him,as being a stubborn old mule,indeed I've had my own share of confrontations with him,so I know exactly what you mean.
Earlier I did a quick scan and was mortified to see this...not realising at first you weren't talking about this forum :rolleyes1
Just so you know, if you are headed out on vacation, or simply don't want to get emails on all posts or the ones you subscribe to, you can make those adjustments yourself in the user CP. That's that same place your profile is stored at.
Default is not receiving emails (because that is my preference) but you can subscribe to threads or the entire forum if you want through the User CP/Options or whatever it is called. You can also turn it off anytime you want.
In the near future, I hope to implement the ability to respond to posts via email (and blackberry if that is your thing), if you choose the subscribe options. It would be similar to yahoo groups in that regard. However, it won't happen before the autumn at the earliest.
Betsy
Hi Betsy
Earlier I did a quick scan and was mortified to see this...not realising at first you weren't talking about this forum
Ooops! :brick:
I ommitted the groups name on purpose,thinking that the original post from Philip would have covered that,besides I like to say nice things about nice people and not so bad things about people who are not so nice :gulp:
While I am on the subject of nice people :grouphug0 I would have to say BLO would rank as the best forum I have ever participated in and yourself and Peter by far the best moderators :bis:
Canice.
Ok. Here I am. I'm a very late bloomer when it comes to intersex. I'd lived in such turmoil all of my life with a mixture of male and female feelings. Finally I met a woman online about 3 yrs ago who put me in touch with a psychologist who shared some information with me about intersex. I'd never heard the terminology but once I began to read and research finally began to understand exactly who I am and a little about what "makes me tick".
For the past 2 yrs I have been exploring and trying to come to terms with who I am and to put the struggles I've had all my life into some perspective. I feel both male and female and have some physical characteristics that are probably extraordinary. I express as a lesbian and am in a lesbian relationship. I just need someone with whom I can be open about my feelings, my emotions and physical makeup who will understand. I've never had any type of tests and have some fear of doing so. My partner is very loving and understanding and accepts me as both male and female.
Enough said. I'm open to almost anything and want to learn more about who I am. I can truthfully say I have more peace now that I have in the past 56 years of my life.
Meg
vBulletin, Copyright ©2000-2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.