Hello I am new

[JanetteVictoria]

My name is Janette and I am 33 from PA. I was born male but raised female and also I did not find out that I was male till I was 28 and I am still trying to find who I am and where I fit in this world where there ONLY seems to be male OR female!

I am also a Christian, born again on June 22, 2003.. Would like to meet others that feel the same and have the same beliefs as I do.

God bless and love you all in...
Christ Jesus.

[MelissP]

Ohh, that's so very sad :sad_smile
You must have gone through hell these last couple of years.

[JanetteVictoria]

Hi Melissa,

yes it has been hell for the last few years but I am coming to grips that I am what I have been raised and that is the ONLY way for me to live. It was VERY hard at first and VERY confusion but with GOD all is possible!

[MelissP]

Hi Melissa,

yes it has been hell for the last few years but I am coming to grips that I am what I have been raised and that is the ONLY way for me to live. It was VERY hard at first and VERY confusion but with GOD all is possible!

That's very interesting. On the one hand you have the Reimer-type cases
where the sex of upbring was clearly rejected, and then there are others
like you (and another member named Princess) who seem to not mind, I
wonder if there's something different in the details which send people in
different paths?

It looks like this was so commonly done, there must be a ocean of the
misassigned :whatchuta

Anyways, it's started looking like I have something in common. We might
be counterparts. Though I made the choice of trying to take the destiny
of my apparent biology.

We'll all hope to hear more from you :wavey:

[JanetteVictoria]

Melissa,

As a Christian I believe that God made male or female and and not people that have a mix of male and female, meaning I do not believe that God did not make male-female and that whatever caused the person like myself to become like this, I believe it is from Satan, although some of you may not believe in this and I respect that as long as you respect my belief!

Although I was born "male" I would not know how to be male and I have nothing to preform as a male, because that is how I was born and so later in 1988 I had surgery done to preform as female, if you know what I mean? Don't want to get into much detail but I am sure you understand :smile: I did think about becoming male but after living for so long as a female why would or should I do something that crazy? And what would I be doing it for?? For myself or for other people? Well I prefer to stay female and live and act it, and I have been going out with another female and she is awesome in her love and support for me but as she to have found Jesus as her Lord and savior we both chose to seperate and go out with men. Yes it has been very HARD to do but it goes along with the choice of being female. I could still go out with her but that would ONLY confuse me more with this gender disorder. So i had to make a solid and firm choice in my life and stick with it!

I have also been involved in vampirism and witchcraft but have gotten out of all that because Jesus Christ set me free by His Blood. There has been many many changes in my life and now I am moving to Ohio to get into with the Deliverance Ministry there.

Jesus is Lord!

In Christ Jesus.
Janette V. :angel_smi

[MelissP]

Melissa,
As a Christian I believe that God made male or female and and not people that have a mix of male and female, meaning I do not believe that God did not make male-female and that whatever caused the person like myself to become like this, I believe it is from Satan, although some of you may not believe in this and I respect that as long as you respect my belief!

Well it occurs to me that the basic problem of infant mal-assignments
arises from heaven's making people who might look like a mix in the eyes
of some decadent heathen doctors who think they're doing the lord's work
(by making sure everyone is made "male" or "female")
Yet, isn't it the doctors who're doing the sinning? Chances are, you were
probably more a mix after they got their claws on you.


Although I was born "male" I would not know how to be male and I have nothing to preform as a male, because that is how I was born and so later in 1988 I had surgery done to preform as female, if you know what I mean? Don't want to get into much detail but I am sure you understand :smile:

That' sounds horrible! You mean to say that they tried to raise you as a
girl, but left you with no genitalia at all until you were 16? That's even
worse than the Reimer case.

I spent most of this afternoon looking at my MRI images, and trying to
figure out why I get so much medical resistance to the idea of seperating
my pre-existing labia. It appears that mother nature did most of the work
already, I don't even have any plumbing in there. But instead, I've got 4
doctors who couldn't agree on any diagnosis because they have different
theories about what that stuff at the top of my vagina is. So I'm going to
have to pay my last dollars on earth to take care of things. Maybe I can
understand your wink and a nudge about performing, that's the carrot.
The stick is that my system is starting to power up again for my regularly
scheduled agonies.


I did think about becoming male but after living for so long as a female why would or should I do something that crazy? And what would I be doing it for?? For myself or for other people? Well I prefer to stay female and live and act it, and I have been going out with another female and she is awesome in her love and support for me but as she to have found Jesus as her Lord and savior we both chose to seperate and go out with men. Yes it has been very HARD to do but it goes along with the choice of being female. I could still go out with her but that would ONLY confuse me more with this gender disorder. So i had to make a solid and firm choice in my life and stick with it!

There are GLB christians who aren't trying to get themselves cured. As
a person who's found herself in pursuit of equal-opportunity agape, I just
can't understand fundy beliefs to the contrary. Though I might not labor
the point.


I have also been involved in vampirism and witchcraft but have gotten out of all that because Jesus Christ set me free by His Blood. There has been many many changes in my life and now I am moving to Ohio to get into with the Deliverance Ministry there.
Jesus is Lord!

In Christ Jesus.
Janette V. :angel_smi

Vampirism and witchcraft? Kewl :rolleyes:
I tried to get involved with wiccans, a long time ago. They didn't want
me too much. Apparently they might not've appeciated the mediteranean
color scheme, and they definately didn't like people they thought were queer.

So your headin to Ohio? Is that to make sure those wavering midwesterns
re-elect satan for a third term? :tongue:

[Meadow]

Hi JanetteVictoria!!

Welcome to BLO!! I really applaud your convictions and choice to go against what might be in your heart to serve a higher authority. No doubt that your faith will be tested along the way, and I can attest that it will not be easy.

Since you may not have read all of the posts, let me introduce myself. I was born male as well and I was raised as such. But what I did not realize for so long was that I was born trans. It was only after several failed relationships, causing pain to others as well as myself, that I finally sought the professional help that I needed, discovering why my feelings were not consistent with what I thought that they should be. My official diagnosis is: Transsexual, attracted to Neither. Its interesting, as once I accepted God's plan for me, which I discovered in my heart, to transition to female, that I found that not only was I happier, but I was better able to serve Him in my work in helping animals, and bring a better life for their owners as well. Everyone around me has born witness to my improved state of mind and my willingness to go far beyond what is requrired of me. Looking back, I had tried for years to be someone I was not supposed to be. It only resulted in thoughts of suicide. Now, finally accepting His guidance, I can be productive and happy.

Good luck in your journey. Everyone here has had a challenging path. Your's will be no different. Find Him in your heart.

Respectfully, Meadow

[JanetteVictoria]

Meadow,

Thank you for your post!

After so long of not knowing who I am, I found my True self in Christ Jesus and I am sure that is how you must feel to a certain point? Alot of "Christians" seem to judge that a bit to much and and quick to say that gays and lesbians people like us will go to hell but God sees a person from what is inside not what is on the outside and that is what the great thing about God is. I mean in the KJV it does not say in order to be saved you must not be gay or lesbian, or trans or intersex, ect.. in Romans 10:13 it says that WHOSOEVER shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved. I am sure it has been hard for you as well, as I. but we must do what makes us feel happy in order to live.

I have been friends with this Christian man for a few years now well my "girlfriend" an I have and although he did bring us to Christ he continued to tell us that her and I need to be apart that we are lesbians, and he knows about the intersex with me but does not believe it and believes that it is ALL demons and that I am female but I still feel as I always did and I know I got saved on June 22, 2003. Maybe I do have demons and need to be set free of that but if God wants it to happen it will and not by this man. It is hard to have a relationship with a women because I look and act female as well but it is also hard to have a relationship with a man because of I feel male, but how can I feel male if I never was?? Do I just feel male because I was told? Maybe that is part of it but throughout my childhood I always felt "something" was different but was not sure what it was untill I was told I was male when I was 28 and know I understand it. But I do wish I was never never because it sure has been hell as you can imagine!

God bless
In Christ Jesus.
Janette V.

[JanetteVictoria]

Melissa,

You know sometimes I feel that the Doctors, purposely used me as some kind of "test" so that they could over the years watch and learn for their own twisted reasons. LOL! :? And yes I was in vampirism and witchcraft for a while but I am glad I am out of it because it only caused much deeper confusion and darkness in my life, if you want peace and freedom accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior and He will change your life for the best. :-)

That's right I had to wait till I was 16 to have female vagina but now that I have it it's like YEA! :ARMS1:

In Christ Jesus.
Janette V.

[Meadow]

Janette,

Hi. Although you did not state explicity those things about you that were indicators that you were born male, I suspect that you have XY chromosomes. If this is the case, then I would think that feeling male could be natural based on that fact. Now, there are others here that are XY and have absolutely NO inclinations to feel male. Many with AIS fall in this group where they never felt male at all. But, of course, in this area, all variations are possible and everyone is different and has their own unique situation.

Here is my question: If you are attracted to another woman, with your IS history, does that make you truly a lesbian? I can say that, for myself, I am not gay. Even though I am now a woman, and have still a somewhat attraction to other women, even if I were to have a female partner I do not consider myself a lesbian. Now, the rest of the world might see me as one, but I don't care what the rest of the world thinks!

Although perhaps not specifically religious, my spirituallity runs very deep. My life is guided by all that is around me, and He has not let me down. But first and foremost, I feel that I must be true to my heart, for to do otherwise I feel would be an insult to my creator. And although for years I had felt "cursed" for being born trans, I now see it as a "gift" that has given me a richer life and I have had experiences that few others have had. And it has sensitized me to all the variations on this earth that gives this place a unique texture and a place of wide diversity.

And so while I feel clear that my path is certain for me, being a mere human, I cannot presuppose what your path might be and I would never dictate to you what I feel His will is for you. THAT you must figure out for yourself. But life is a process of learning and discovery and gaining wisdom along the way. And we must all be helpful and compassionate to others.

Respectfully, Meadow

[MelissP]

An apology to all of the wiccans I might have offended with my
comments towards Janette.

I admit, I was in a facetious mood that night, and should not have
given the appearance that I was implying that all wiccans were umm
somewhat closeminded in certain ways. Of course not. Maybe there
is a higher percentage of accepting wiccans than accepting xtians,
for all I know.

I'll conclude this apology by saying that it was simply me having a bit
of bad luck at a vunerable time in my life, the vunerable time being
when I was a bit younger, and already left the ugly denomination of
christianity which my parents had tried to force me into. And while
I didn't miss having organized religion much at all, I had a very real
need for spirituality in life, a spirituality I hadn't yet found on my own
power. The bad luck was that the first people I ran into were good
old-fashioned gardnerians, and I mixed with them like oil and vinegar.

So maybe I gripe about that sometimes, but I no longer mean it as a
serious criticism. I have found my own spirituality along the way, and
the past is gone.

Praise be to Auset,