Hello everyone

[forza4]

hello everyone!!
I'm new here wave1:
How are you doing ? :-P
First of all I'm not intersexed.
However, It is familiar for me. No I'm not a student who want's to observate the behavor of intersexed people.
I have a friend who is intersexed. I know very well how it feels to be intersexed.
Every intersexed person will have a very though period in his life if not his whole life.
Fortunatly there are people like on this forum who care to help those who are in need of help. I would like to be part of that.
It would be pleased if there is anyone i can help. Old , young , male or female it doesn't matter.
If hope i can contribrute something as an not intersexed.

Have a nice day every one !

[sparklingdreams]

...I know very well how it feels to be intersexed. ...


Welcome to BLO,

Other perspectives are always welcome from my opinion. But even though your sentament is appriciated and heartfelt. Rest assured you don't know what it's like to be intersexed! And you're blessed for not knowing what it's truly like... and your friend's blessed for having such a good friend.

*Hugs* & welcome to BLO,
Katie

[Kailana]

i liked your post, it was simple and fairly straight forward.

I think you are doing fine, a desire to want to help people understand others is a lofty goal.

Do you need to be intersexed to understand intersexed?
i dont know, i believe so, however what i believe isnt all that important, you could learn from us if that is your wish. i think i can be quite harsh at times.
i welcome your insights with your views or even your insights/ comments on how you think you might respond to some of the topics that are posted here.
i am only one person, my thoughts are my own, some match up with many others, some do not. I look forward to reading your thoughts:

What would you say to another non-IS person on how we feel about how we have been treated, or how we have nearly no access too are own medical records. Or that some of us are genetically different that are assigned sex. or that many of us were never asked, if that is what we wanted, or for those like me who were asked as a teen and young adult, were ignored.

Thanks for posting. Nothingi typed was meant as a knock, or insult. I do hope do read your response. not only for me, but for others as well.
I hope there is true interest in helping, those who are in neeed of help.
Thank you with sincerety

[Dianne]

Rest assured you don't know what it's like to be intersexed!

Welcome!

forza4 may not know what it is like to be I.S. but it sounds to me like he (?) understands the pain that his friend has gone through and reaching out to help commendable.

[forza4]

thanks dianne, you take the words from my mouth. I am a "he" but i don't think that realy matters. Maybe i overreacted a bit. There is no way to know how it is to be IS unless you are IS. But i did know what feelings have gone through her: the pain , the fear, the shame, why me?. Any human can understand emotions.

[Dianne]

you take the words from my mouth

YUK!

Here, you can have them back!

[Kailana]

i wish that were true.
And hi again, there are a great many who havent learned that concept. I wish it were true, but again those stupid societal standards aren't all that accepting of those who are suppose to be different. Too many think its ok to make children into something that they were never meant to be. all surgeries or even no surgeries, anything that is out of the norm isnt so well received from society. As kids,teens or young adults there is always that ovarall feeling of wanting to fit in. Everyone wants to be well liked, everyone wants to have a nice job, everyone wants to be this or that, for some issues of self complicate so many other things. Will an employer accept me for me, will i ever have a boyfriend/girlfriend, will i ever marry, will i ever have children. these are just some of the many aspects that everyone deals with, For some particularly those in the intersexed community have a much harder time finding, feeling ok with and overall flurishing as beneficail members of society takes a bit of work. perhaps its the lack of confidence, or self pity, or what ever that is the largest stumbling block people have to overcome. And I know not everyone has these issues. thing is you can't just tell some one "to get over it", you should do this or you should do that, it takes a great deal more effort and time to find happiness.

i think im ranting again.

Thank you Forza4 for posting, its appreciated

[forza4]

hey Kailana,
I agree with you,
however , maybe i am too optimistic for humanity but i do believe we all have it in us to understand any other human emotion. But like you stated, the society standerts make us act different. I think the question we should ask ourself is: am i able to understand or am i willing to understand.
thanks for your post :)

[turtledove]

'i do believe we all have it in us to understand any other human emotion"

Certainly ANYONE who has been born into this severly twosexed world will go through embarassment, anger and confusion when the secretive reality of intersexed is unexpectedly FORCED into their consciousness forever.

If someone is not hindered by prejudices, or illness then they should be able to observe nature. With enough real experiences one could understand any other human emotion. =) But what about all the possible combinations of emotions?

Some people may even gain understanding into the confusion of schizophrenic thoughts when they are damaged by bad medicine =/.

[turtledove]

Understand the anger that is caused by the systematic incompetence, carelessness and conspiracy of doctors. Understand the relentlessness of the discrimination (there is no safe home). Understand the seriousness of the health effects from not getting any proper treatment. Understand the lost dreams and wasted lives.

[RGMCjim]

Hi Forza4,
Everyone here has been through a lot. Some of us are doing great. Some aren't. Your being here, just saying that you've been supportive of a friend is something that some of the folks here have never experienced in their own lives and is incredibly valuable.
I'm 49 and although I never had any surgery I'm pretty war torn. However, I've learned through experience that genitals are something people have. They're not what we are. What and who we are takes place between our ears, not our legs. That goes for everyone, male, female and intersexed alike. The value of a lover is not in the shape of their equipment, but in how free they are to give and receive pleasure and achieve intimacy. Size really does matter, but it's not the size of genitals, breasts, or muscles - it's the size of our love that counts. Hey, I'm 49, I've earned the right to be maudlin.

Welcome here.

Jim

[sparklingdreams]

I just wanted to repeat part of my first post,

I did mention in my first reply how lucky your friend is to have such a good friend. I mean someone who accepts her even knowing her birth situation. That's something I've never had the luck of experiencing, and like someone else mentioned, most here may not have either.

As for understanding emotions... I meant more than just being empathetic toward someone when I said you can't truly understand what its like to be have one of the D.S.D. (Intersex conditions). I was talking about emotions, of course, and so much more. First shame is an emotion everyone shares. But the shame of being mutilated, exposed, examined, and all while one is being treated like nothing more than their mutated genitals is not a shame you can understand unless you've lived with it. Just like I could never really understand the shame a burn victim may go through.

Then there are the physical feelings. Feeling something that feels so foreign and mutilated constantly on one's mind. These are physical feelings, and ones that no amount of empathy could bring you near.

I'm not angry, just expressing the truth. And again I wanted to say what a great friend you. She's very lucky to have you in her life.