HI there everyone

[protectivemum]

Hi i have a three year old daughter who was diagnosed with CAH at the age of two, although i knew she looked a little different down below, no health officials picked it up and i thought that maybe some girl just looked different at that age and it would all look ok once she got older. Then she started getting pubic hair and once i got the guts to take her to the docs he said oh she has Precocious Puberty, after many months and tests she was finally diagnosed with Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia, her bone growth is also that of a six year old apparently. I know the bit about surgery is to come up soon, there is talk of taking her to Great Ormand Street hospital which is in the city and the best childrens hospital in england i rekon. I dont want to be talked into her having surgery and id like her to decide when she is older as it isnt too bad although she is aware there is something there. Id like to hear from people that have had surgery or have decided against it. Weather she has the operation or not id rather not be the one who has to make this decision.

[sparklingdreams]

First off, may I welcome you to Bodies Like Ours,

I wasn't given a choice about the many operations sometime between birth and like 9 months old. My different vagina was to different for any one not to notice. They were not able to complete all of the operations they desired, because of anatomical and health reasons.

I can only agree with you when you said "id rather not be the one who has to make this decision.". I would just like to say you don't have to make any decision. Its her body, like you noted, and I applaud you for expressing your love with such open mindedness. She doesn't need any surgeries as long as she has something far more important, your love, which she clearly does. I can only recommend not having her put through any surgery, and let her choose what if anything & if ever.

Other than my personal advice I'd like to recommend the following web pages that will will help you deal with this situation:


What's ISNA's position on surgery? (http://www.isna.org/faq/surgery)
Disorders of Sex Development Handbook for Parents (http://www.dsdguidelines.org/htdocs/parents/index.html)
What evidence is there that you can grow up psychologically healthy with intersex genitals (without "normalizing" surgeries)? (http://www.isna.org/faq/healthy)
How can you assign a gender (boy or girl) without surgery? (http://www.isna.org/faq/gender_assignment) (This may not directly apply to your daughter, but it does have some good information you may want to read.)


and an only slightly unrelated, but moving story:
Who was David Reimer (also, sadly, known as "John/Joan")? (http://www.isna.org/faq/reimer)

[kayleighsmom]

I requested the same information months ago and although you directed me to a couple of places, I would have LOVED to have the Handbook information. Had I been directed by you the way you are directly this lovely lady, I may have not felt the need to subject me and my whole family to a talk show - albeit a "help talk show."

Wonder after the many discussions, this wasn't brought up before? A plain English Handbook SPECIFIC to IS? A mom's dream come true! Although it would have helped me months ago, it's not too late and I thank you for providing it.

Linda

[miriam]

Had I been directed by you the way you are directly this lovely lady, I may have not felt the need to subject me and my whole family to a talk show - albeit a "help talk show."

Wonder after the many discussions, this wasn't brought up before?

I checked the BLO archives and I found a post by Peter from June this year that already mentioned the handbook for parents. If you would have attended the AISSG-USA meeting in Bloomington, you would have got your own copy of that handbook. Don't blame others for having information that you could have had too.

And please read what I wrote to you BEFORE you had talked to Dr.Phil:

http://www.bodieslikeours.org/forums/showpost.php?p=11779&postcount=12

Just contact the AISSG-USA and I'm 100% sure that they can tell you who's the best psychologist for this. I've attended the AISSG-USA meeting last month and there I've met several wonderful parents who can help you to cope with AIS. Meeting other parents is a kind of support that no psychologist can offer you.

You are not alone. Period.

There are other parents who have encountered problems similar to the problems you encounter now. Believe me, people are unique, problems are not.

From what you write now I understand that you have NOT contacted the AISSG-USA. That's your decision and that's ok, but don't blame other people for that.

Groeten, Miriam

PS. The handbook for parents says that you should contact members of the HBIGDA if you have a child with gender questions. DON’T DO THAT!!!! HBIGDA is a group of people who is involved in the treatment of transsexual people. Only a couple of them have seen patients with an intersex condition.

[sparklingdreams]

Wonder after the many discussions, this wasn't brought up before? A plain English Handbook SPECIFIC to IS? A mom's dream come true! Although it would have helped me months ago, it's not too late and I thank you for providing it.

To Miriam:
I know it sucks, but some times (maybe even most of the time) sucky resources are all we have.

I'm glad I could help you Linda,

I wish I had noticrd your post last time tou asked this question. There are a lot of post here and some times my life just kinda like comes first and I miss a question, or a really good article, so I'm at least glad you have it now.

As for why the DSD Guildeline recommends contacting the Harry Benjamin Association (http://www.hbigda.org/), its in case one's child is particularly hurt or feels confused about their gender. I mean like literreally "What am I?" kinda feelings. They do maintain a therapist database of therapist who have gender trining, and this training does include D.S.D. vs trans people, and also allows for basically any form of gender expression and etc.

Gender trained therapists simply attempt to help each person accept their own way of expressing their gender. The Harry Benjamin Association (http://www.hbigda.org/) may not be ideal, especially for most people with one of the D.S.D. because our ("gender issues", ussually don't exist) they're just precieved to be by our parents. Of course if those parents had this hand book they would be able to understand the difference (hopefully). But even if they don't. just about any therapist from Harry Benjamin Association (http://www.hbigda.org/) would be better than just finding one in their local yellow pages. And their therapists are familar with the diiference, and their sign, between someone living with one of the D.S.D. vs. a transgendered person.

I do feel where your coming from though. Which is why I'm glad the handbook mentions that no parent with a child with any of the D.S.D. be suprised or in conflict if their child ends up having a different sex (and sexual identity) than what they may have been asigned at birth. But for some children, whether their born with a D.S.D. or whatever, these questions can be to much, and therapy can help. And at least therapy from someone associated with Harry Benjamin Association (http://www.hbigda.org/) would be far better than someone trying to force this child into any sexual identity or gender role.

I know it sucks, but some times (maybe even most of the time) sucky resources are all we have.

[miriam]

The information below is provided by the HBIGDA and shows how helpfull this organisation can be to people with an intersex condition.

Numbers of [intersex] Individuals Served in the
Last Two Years by 53 HBIGDA
Members

Numbers seen _____ Respondents
1 _______ 15
1 _______ 9
3 _______ 8
4 _______ 7
5 _______ 1
6 _______ 1
7 _______ 1
8 _______ 1
9 _______ 1
10 ______ 1
10+ ______ 8

(Source: HBIGDA 2003 survey)

At that time HBIGDA had 326 members. 131 responded to the survey. Many of the respondents had never seen a patient with an intersex condition.

Professionals who report having
Provided Professional Service to
10+ Intersex Individuals/Parents

Psychology (5)
Endocrinologist (1)
Pediatric (1)
Student (1)


(Source: HBIGDA 2003 survey)


Again, there are better ways if you need to find professional support.

Groeten, Miriam

[sparklingdreams]

Just to clarify,

Thank you for defending me Miriam. Linda, I always help in every way I can. I'm sorry that you did not get the guideline before, but I hope you don't feel as if I was with holding information from you. And as for your decision to go on Dr. Phil, that was a personal decision of your own... and as I mentioned above. Most shrinks aren't qualified to offer advice on anything surrounding D.S.D..

Then for the record, I don't feel or believe being born with any of the D.S.D. means one will need therapy. Whether or not we'll want or need therapy is just based on how much shame & secrecy one grows up with surrounding their being born with one of the D.S.D.'s. I in no way wanted to imply that having any of the D.S.D. somehow `doomed` us therapy. In fact if we grow up and live in an open, accepting, and loving family we'll stand just as much of a chance to live a pull, happy, & well adjusted life.

Sadly, however, we don't live with a medical establishment, society, or with parents who are given enough accurate information to give many of that as a true chance. So at least for me, and only for now, talk therapy is the best help I can get... until I can afford the therapy I truly need. To have the multiple surgeries needed to correct the mutilations done to my then,. and still, ambiguous genital.

[sparklingdreams]

Again, there are better ways if you need to find professional support.

I totally agree,

I personally find speaking with a truly knowledgeable Endocrinologist is by far more helpful than anything the HBA can provide. Sadly it seems the truth boils down to that in most cases, right now, we have very few possible resources, and almost no good resources.

[kayleighsmom]

What is wrong with wanting more specific information related to the problem I am having? I wasn't attacking anyone! And to be completely honest about the AISSG association, went to their website, looked around and it was more based toward adults with AIS. Okay, great - fine.

I simply said that I stated in many posts if anyone had anything to offer for the specific problems Kayleigh is facing. I would have remembered the "Handbook" but as I recall that someone told me there "was no handbook."

I won't defend going on the Dr. Phil show. I was given some more information that can be helpful. That's why I come here. Alot of people here are very, very intelligent and I have to read thru posts several times to understand what is being said and then I only get the "gist" of it. I don't think that asking for information that the average person can actually use, is too much to ask.

I'm sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you Sparkling Water as I have always admired your strength and intelligence. I've been nothing but kind here, but sometimes it seems like I can't express myself (or my disappointment at not finding the information I'm looking for) while others can go on an "f-ing spree" about their problems.

I never meant to offend. And I've always admired you too Mariam, I think you probably just think I'm too stupid or something since the e-mail that I wrote to you in kindness was never returned.

Sincerely - I'm sorry if I hurt you Sparkling Water - it is never my intention to come here and cause more pain for people.

Linda

[sparklingdreams]

I'm sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you Sparkling Water as I have always admired your strength and intelligence. I've been nothing but kind here, but sometimes it seems like I can't express myself (or my disappointment at not finding the information I'm looking for) while others can go on an "f-ing spree" about their problems.

I got the wrong impression when you wrote:

Had I been directed by you the way you are directly this lovely lady, I may have not felt the need to subject me and my whole family to a talk show - albeit a "help talk show."

I felt as if you felt like I was holding information back from you intentionally, even maliciously. I never would and when you wrote that last part I just felt as if you felt hurt that I hadn't linked you to the guideline yet.

And I never meant to say anything to imply you should apologize for going on Dr. Phil. Though I don't like him personally, I respect you for being brave enough to do it (which something I said when you wrote you were going). I just got the wrong feeling when I read your reply, that you had a painful experience on his show, and that if you had the handbook you could have avoid that trauma. So then I blamed myself for the trauma because I hadn't told you about the handbook yet.

I'm sorry, I've had a long week, and that along with sleep deprivation, and more than a lil stupidity... I misread, or read to much into what you were writing. And when Miriam replied it triggered something inside me that made me feel & come off overly defensive instead of compassionate, which is how I wanted to sound. This is one of my many issues', that came from being severally abused growing up, I'm working on... though I know that's no excuse. So please, I hope you'll accept my apologies'.

I just felt sad, because I thought you felt as if I meant not to help you. Now I know that's not what you meant at all, and I'm really sorry for misreading your post. Even more I feel horrible for not having told you about the guidelines sooner and sorry I haven't been more proactive about telling parents here about the handbook. Its something I should be more aware of. And will make sure to share the guideline with as many parents online as I can. Not just the few I come in contact in real life.

[prince....ss?]

I will try to say this with out sounding angry and I am not pointing fingers or quoting anyone in particular. I’m just a bird sitting on the fence taking it all in. but sometimes even a bird needs to take a dump.

First off I don’t like the DSD thing, it’s too huge of an umbrella and my situation definitely makes me less than a minority in this grouping. So now here I am a person that had gender identity questions and also IS, but apparently most IS persons never had an issue with sex or gender identity issue, so how could you possibly understand, or know how to deal with this condition? In the past we have had discussions on what is the difference between the sexes and genders and I don’t think any great definitions or standards have been set or defined from those discussions.

Second, having lived this life of gender/ sex confusion would in no way give me the insight on how to raise a child with this issue. So I think being IS with gender identity is such a minority then why not tap the resources of parents that have raised children TS. I would think that most persons that are TS would have the inside scoop on gender issues.

Personally, if you never had an issue with your true sex or gender identity, then you don’t have a clue!!! There is no way of even imagining how this is and nothing you can do to replicate the feeling. But at least I feel lucky enough to have my sex match my gender so there is not a conflict anymore. I am non-sexed and non-gendered, I am neither and to be honest I could not imagine what it would be like to be just a man or just a woman.

The term intersex and DSD have both thinned the soup so much that you can’t tell if it’s chicken or beef. Therefore, I will keep my male pseudo-hermaphrodite, thank you very much!

[kayleighsmom]

about the talk show thing. But I guess I made it sound like it was your fault? I'm sorry, really, truly. My sarcasm was stupid and meant to come off like "because nobody else wanted me to do it" not because I don't think it was and will continue to be a postive experience for our family.

And it's not your job to educate me, you probably just didn't think of it. Kayleigh's physical problems are "easier" than the emotional. Prince...sss was right that you can't put yourself in someones shoes... but that doesn't make me as a mom want to help her any less with her struggle. Yesterday she pretended to tape a penis on while she was in the bathtub. So I giggle with her and dry her off... life goes on.

I will continue to look for comprehensive information - and I don't believe that comes from just one place - BLO, AISSG, Dr. Phil - but many many places and hearing first hand how being IS can affect a person.

Warmly,

Linda

[sparklingdreams]

I agree with both of you,

Emotional issues around having a D.S.D., being Intersex, and of course being a transsexual. My emotional issues come from being mutilated without any explanations.

The huge amount of abuse I suffered because of how my parents' treated me, has left the worst scars. While I always 'knew & felt' I was a girl and would frequently tell others, and even correct them if they called me something, of course I only did that when I was very young. My family used 'it' as my pronoun, and I just never understood why. They also would constantly remind me how sick I was, but with ever surgery they'd promise "this will fix you & help make you better.". Yet most of those surgeries were to repair damage to my vagina that my father was doing... not because of my D.S.D..

I'm sure even given a perfectly loving accepting environment to grow up in, that I would have still want & need to have my vagina corrected, but only for my needs. And my genitals wouldn't need nearly as many procedural surgeries as I do now (because of the previous surgeries I was put through.

There was so much shame, secrecy, guilt, and a lot of blame put on me for being born different. All of which I could never understand, or even comprehend. I mean my mind just didn't get it. I was a girl, they called me an it, but wanted my to act like a boy. So long story short, my parents were, and prolly still are, completely insane, at least when it came to me being born with `ambiguous genitalia`. Their perspective was reinforced by their religion.

I never felt any confusion about my sex, and based on my menstrual cycle & internal sex organs, I'm right... but based on other factors, namely one recent karyotype test, well no one understands what's going on. I see my new Endocrinologist tomorrow (on Tuesday) to get some real answers. My new Endocrinologist is actually very knowledgeable about my C.A.H. and D.S.D.. She has also been extremely sensitive about the abuse I've suffered.

Lastly, once I do (hopefully, eventually) have children and one does have issues with their sex or gender, I would never assume to understand exactly what they would be going through, though I would have a better perspective than others may. I would help them all I could. And if needed I would go to any resources available whether its a therapist from the HBIGA or just a local support group or social worker. If my years of therapy have taught me one thing is that when it comes to talk therapy, trust & comfort with one's therapist is the most important thing. And seeing a therapist who specializes in whatever one is dealing with can help develop that openness. So I agree with Prince...ss' point, regardless of how many patients they may have seen who have one of the D.S.D..

As for Kayleigh taping on her penis, its cute. And wouldn't be a big deal if this world didn't try to identify everything by just one single indicator. Of course it would surprise me if Kayleigh was a boy and eventually expressed that to you (Linda), though I' not like predicting it, I just wouldn't be surprised. I do feel sex & gender exist beyond just socially created roles (please no feminist attacks, its my belief). I just don't think its as simply as looking in a baby's diaper, or even at one of their proteins chromosome. Science is making big leaps in the study of genetics and I do believe eventually we may be able to get a much clearer picture of why we are what we are. An interesting short read can be found at Does having a Y chromosome make someone a man? - http://www.isna.org/faq/y_chromosome (http://www.isna.org/faq/y_chromosome).

But above all things, no matter where science or politics lead, I believe everyone should be allowed to live & express themselves as they feel most comfortable. I can attest to how much others try to control one's self expression. Like the amount of feminists telling me I was only living in the role society told me I should live... that I wasn't living true or free. All because I happen to actually be feminine. I wounder what their rationalization for saying I was only living in the role society told me I should if they had any clue of the amount of abuse I suffered growing up, all of it trying to make me live as anything other than myself.

I wish you Prince...ss & Kayleigh (and then you Linda) with being proud of who we are. I "enjoy being a woman" (to borrow from summers eve commercials). Hopefully that's all right with everyone here (intense sarcasm). I just hope everyone else can enjoy just being themselves, and just like chill out when it comes to being so worried or bothered by how one may feel about themselves and whether or not it conflicts with one's own feelings of self.

We are a support group for people with varying D.S.D., each of which has it's own varying levels of `ambiguous genitalia & reproductive organs`. It would only make sense that our identities and self expression would be just as varied. Just like it is in the real would. Every friend I've ever had, in every group, has had their own level of feminine, or masculine, expression. So hopefully we can learn to actual embrace diversity here, because if we can't embrace each others diversity, how can we expect the medical community & the rest of society to. (Okay I'm done tub thumping now - and it was directed at B.L.O. overall no one specific. We've all done it, even myself at times.)

[sparklingdreams]

My sarcasm was stupid and meant to come off like "because nobody else wanted me to do it"

I was actually proud of you,

Although I wish I'd posted some more links when I replied, I actually encouraged your visit to Dr. Phil's show. I felt, and still do feel, you were incredibly brave for doing it. And like you said in your post, it will at the least help raise awareness about D.S.D.. I really wish I'd post those links though.

[kayleighsmom]

Sparkling Dreams - your posts always seem to hit things right on the head! And when you talk about the abuse you suffered, I can relate to some degree of it. Just puts a big ole lump in my throat when I hear what your parents put you thru.

My sister's didn't get any of the abuse because they were so much stronger, smarter, etc. but I always did because I was the "prettier one - but dumb." My mother even labeled me that. She was a single mom and died when I was 13, etc. etc. but she tried the best she could. She would tell me that I could get farther in the world with a cute smile and a wave then turned around and pushed studying and getting good grades for the middle sister - turns out she IS brilliant, but totally, um.... well, "whacked out!". And then the older sister had the role of "mom" when our real mom had to work 2 jobs to support us. Ugh! She did the best with what she knew at the time and I maybe "dumb" but I want to do the best I can for all my children. We're all three kinda messed up with those labels... me getting sexually abused by almost every male I encountered.

I was actually on another IS board where this father said he would call his CAIS daughter and "it" until she figured out what she wanted to be? OMG! That haunts me.

Almost everyone I read about talk about if there had been less secrecey, shame and more openness and love about their IS condition, it would have been better for them. I don't want that for my children. And I was sincerely confused at the reaction (although I would get some negative) but that no one thought that it would be a good idea to raise awareness and jump out of this "comfort zone" we're all in.

Thank you so much for saying that about the Dr. Phil show. It is just one of the vehicles I plan to ride. It may very well be that Kayleigh outgrows her gender confusion and we plan on just letting her take the lead and support her. Part of Dr. Phil's advice was to wait 2-3 years to see what happens. But if I can lay on my death bed ready to face my Maker and she is happy, healthy and well-adjusted, has the things she wants in life (along with my other children) I will have felt I did the job I was put on this Earth to do.

I will not allow her to be exploited or victimized or put in certain situations that would create her to feel she isn't perfectly fine... well, the last part is a wish because all children go thru the regular "rites of passage" in school.

Oct 19 is the airdate for the show and I'm sure that's when my community awareness/tolerance campaign will lead the way for Kayleigh. I will take the brunt of it and I'm sure I will be hurt, but she won't be. We've lived in the same community all of our lives and it is a good community... so we start somewhere. Most of the people around here already know, but don't fully understand. If the community around us doesn't react well... well, there are other good communites to live in. I'm fully prepared to make sure she comes away unscathed. I would rather she know what her differences are and be okay with them with the support of friends and family, then to have her grow up for several years going "what the hell is wrong with me?"

Seems like a humongous feat and maybe shows a little of my niavety... but which way is right? Hide the fact that she's different and her feel badly because she doesn't know why or just be open about it so she can accept it in her heart and be a strong person?

I have to say too, that my oldest son told everyone he was going to be on the Dr.Phil show (he's in 8th grade) and told them exactly why. I was surprised, but very proud of him! I told him to brace for negativve comments and there were NONE actually. Most just said, "well, I'm glad your parents aren't splitting up." LOL

We all may take some heat, and we're prepared for it but we're a strong family and the boys especially won't let her be hurt.

Thanks again for the positive comments. It was actually a pretty difficult thing to do and not in any way a "oh boy look at me, I'm going to be on TV." I actually went to an all-black school and they were trying to integrate white people... video on the news all the time of me sitting there in the classroom, me trying out for cheerleader, me eating lunch or in debate class cause I was different and the only white. While I understood why they wanted to get the footage etc. I still hate that kinda stuff. So this was not a case of I can't get on a reality show sooooooo.... let's exploit my daughter and get 15 minutes of fame. (which was actually suggested in my original thread about going on the show. Ugh! )

I'll quit blabbering now, but thanks.

[Sara Zeal]

Hmm, well I've read some more on the identity.

From Milton Diamond's perspective, even in 1965, he said there definitely was a biological bias for sexual identity (whom you feel you are), and societal/cultural expectations just decides how you interpret this feeling (accept, reject, unsure). But indeed he pointed to a non-social view. The social part is how people treat you and doesn't affect that internal identity, it just affects if you're proud, or ashamed of it.

This was before Money got on with the John/Joan case and got the nature/nurture debate on his side with questionable evidence (basically he overinterpreted his theoretical data) and he provided false evidence about John/Joan's case, which lasted from the early 70s until 1997 when Diamond himself proved the case wrong.

So the bias on societal/cultural influence was based on Money's theories. The feminist movement latched onto the idea to prove they weren't in any way inferior to men by saying "if women were raised like boys we would be no different than men" even if the evidence was questionable.

Even 40 years ago, there was plenty of neurological bias evidence to behavior amongst all animals, and the social imprinting theory simply made no sense. They weren't able to know what exactly amongst humans makes you feel male or female in the first place, but they knew it was more powerful than whatever upbringing you'd get. Even now the best advice is to ask the person, because the person knows better than any doctor could.

As for religious thinking. They go on about "How God made you", they just can't accept the fact that God might give you a strong neurological bias that is more or less in-line or more or less against the expectance upon physiology. It gets even more complicated when the physical aspect is blurred, but essentially it's the same; the individual knows best.

I've found a fundamentalist religious site where the founder was in a state of confusion in journal exrcerpts. Having all signs of gender dysphoria, and yet unable to accept that his/her neurological imprinting was not entirely dependant on appearance. Said person underwent hormone treatment and stopped short of surgery (which had been approved), because of a great sense of shame, guilt and betrayal of religion (which didn't accept it).

This person hurt his/herself by believing others knew best about him/her.

Well I'll cite my sources:
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/online_artcls/intersex/qrb_201.html
1965 document

http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/online_artcls/intersex/sexual_I_G_web.html
2001 document

I'm sorry if this was somewhat off-topic, but it can explain why someone would be ashamed of who they are (societal bias), but still be right about it (neurological bias). Someone might feel like belonging to neither categories also, if the bias is more towards the middle (and that sure can happen).

This applies to intersex, transsexualism and the population at large as well. It's not meant to be confined to a single example.

I hope the documents are not too hard a read, as they certainly are long.

Sara ~

[sparklingdreams]

Seems like a humongous feat and maybe shows a little of my naivety... but which way is right? Hide the fact that she's different and her feel badly because she doesn't know why or just be open about it so she can accept it in her heart and be a strong person?

Well I don't imagine she's different at all,

Just a normal girl, or boy, with a slight birth defect. That's my biggest fight when it comes to Disorders of Sex Development. I've never felt as anything other than a girl, even when my parents were trying, and then forcing, me to live as other wise. I finally got out when I was 16 and got the best treatment I could then, which apparently wasn't the best, but it's kept me alive.

The only way I'm different from any other girl would be that I'm judged on different physical aspects than most other girls, as well as `all the other standards of beauty`. So, in my opinion the right thing to do is let her, or him, no their loved. And just as importantly that their loved as the girl, or boy, Kayleigh feels she is. If you don't make a big deal about it, than it won't be to Kayleigh. You'll have plenty of time to prepare Kayleigh fr school no matter what.

Your heart is in the right place. And its awesome that you're raising awareness. But to explain, our shame usually comes from the idea that we're different at all. The best awareness, I feel, can be done is to help people understand that when those of us born with any of the D.S.D., Doctors are only guessing at our sex. Whether we have C.A.H. (like myself) or C.A.I.S. (like Kayleigh), they may be wrong. So if Kayleigh ends up being more like a boy than here the issue: Kayleigh's not more like a boy but that Kayleigh is a boy as much as any other boy.

This is just my opinion, and the opinion of thousands of other people born with any of the D.S.D., we just want people to understand and accept us as we are. For me that's female, and for Kayleigh, that may mean female or male, either way Kayleigh's 100% boy, or girl.

I'll write more later... off to my Doctor's appointment.