Roll Call!!!

[prince....ss?]

Gee this place feels empty. No new posts of any kind and spammers making their way in and the posts weren’t even deleted.

So check in and let us know you’r still alive perhaps what you have been up to.

My news is that the surgeon that did my surgery 44 years ago sent me pictures before, during and after my surgery.

I also saw my Endo doc today and I will be starting the HRT again.

I hope everyone is well!!!

[Meadow]

Hi Prince....ss?!!

Yes, I am still here and quietly lurking in the shadows!! (Or, lying in wait underneath a nice warm rock for some hapless prey to come along!)

All the Best!

Meadow

[Priestess]

Hey,
it's good to see that you're both still here, and that you're finally getting some satisfaction, princess. Hopefully the hrt will be mellower for you this time. I sent a pm to Betsy and Peter about the spammer, no response though. I hope they're both ok.

My status is predictable from my last report. No need to bore everyone with it again.

There's us, and Canice and someone new named Andre. So at least there's 5 remaining members this christmas. And Wyn and Kate Pixiecat log in sometimes, so 7. 7 members. Picture "the Count" from Sesame St saying that :tongue: (ha ha ha)

[Meadow]

Hmmmm . . .

I guess I have an over active imagination, but I'm hearing the creaky old shutter making a rhythmic slapping sound from the breeze coming in from the desert . . . the sound of the occasional crow . . . the squeek of the old rusty windmill that used to run fresh water from the well . . . back in a time when there was life in this town.

Gee, I sure would like to see some folks around . . . even if they are fighting and bickering. That would be a lot better than the eerie quiet . . .

Meadow

[spysweeper]

Well, I'm still around, but only drop in occasionally. The emphasis here is more medical than lifestyle/relationship oriented, so I have little to offer. (Little med help is needed, either. I think AIS has less to deal with in that regard than some other "combinations.") And what physical problems I have are of the consequences variety, meaning mostly emotional.

I guess whatever is on your plate seems like the biggest problem in the world, though, doesn't it? Hell I can't even FIND similiar cases to my "performance" one, where ejaculation literally coincides with arousal, it's so premature, but there are many who would trade with me in a second, I'm sure. (Not here, necessarily, I mean from just reading the world news, I'd guess that.)

Anyway, that's it. Sorry things have slowed down so much, but the heyday was apparently before my time, so wouldn't know.

Be well, all.

[Priestess]

Hmmmm . . .

I guess I have an over active imagination, but I'm hearing the creaky old shutter making a rhythmic slapping sound from the breeze coming in from the desert . . . the sound of the occasional crow . . . the squeek of the old rusty windmill that used to run fresh water from the well . . . back in a time when there was life in this town.

Gee, I sure would like to see some folks around . . . even if they are fighting and bickering. That would be a lot better than the eerie quiet . . .

Meadow

Hi Meadow,
As long as there aren't any Graboids (movie ref, "Tremors") :rolleye13
I'd run them spammer varmints out of town myself, if I was able. But if we can each post something every day, that should keep the forums alive. Even if it does sound a little like bickering. At least bickering is a sign of life.

[Priestess]

Hello spysweeper,
I don't think the forums were intended to be completely about medical discussion, though that has gotten a lot of talk. I'm sorry that not enough people responded to you. Talking about the emotional side of our problems has been allowed, maybe it would give a little more heart to the topics. It's just that your search for suitable lovers is a specialized subject, and one that some of the people might not have been too comfortable discussing on an open forum. Are the AIS sites/forums any more helpful for your needs?

Well, I'm still around, but only drop in occasionally. The emphasis here is more medical than lifestyle/relationship oriented, so I have little to offer. (Little med help is needed, either. I think AIS has less to deal with in that regard than some other "combinations.") And what physical problems I have are of the consequences variety, meaning mostly emotional.

I guess whatever is on your plate seems like the biggest problem in the world, though, doesn't it? Hell I can't even FIND similiar cases to my "performance" one, where ejaculation literally coincides with arousal, it's so premature, but there are many who would trade with me in a second, I'm sure. (Not here, necessarily, I mean from just reading the world news, I'd guess that.)

Anyway, that's it. Sorry things have slowed down so much, but the heyday was apparently before my time, so wouldn't know.

Be well, all.

[spysweeper]

Priestess,

Just to be clear (writing can be so ambiguous), I wasn't complaining, simply commenting. In fact, I've received a rather strong emotional boost from BOL simply from realizing how lucky I am to have been spared the medical problems that (apparently) often accompany sexual ambiguity.

I like your term "suitable lover." That's really all it is, isn't it? No different than anyone else on the planet wants and needs, I just happen to have a smaller group of candidates than most.

Regarding other AIS and related forums, I suck at searching for anything remotely sexual. It's such a commercial/porno driven area that all I get is buried under a bunch of crap. If you have any suggestions (or a link list?), by all means post 'em! Thanks.

[Priestess]

Oh, I didn't think you were complaining.
There's supposed to be an organization called the "AISSG", for ais'ers. A quick web search turned up like almost 2800 hits. I tried contacting them once, to ask about some of the info they had on their site about other related conditions. Except they didn't want to talk to me, because I'm not insensitive. But they'd probably let you join, cause you've got the diagnosis and everything.
I'm not sure which is worse, medical problems or growing up being treated like an it. Surely social/romantic problems can make any life seem worse, so I guess emotions shouldn't be underestimated.

Priestess,

Just to be clear (writing can be so ambiguous), I wasn't complaining, simply commenting. In fact, I've received a rather strong emotional boost from BOL simply from realizing how lucky I am to have been spared the medical problems that (apparently) often accompany sexual ambiguity.

I like your term "suitable lover." That's really all it is, isn't it? No different than anyone else on the planet wants and needs, I just happen to have a smaller group of candidates than most.

Regarding other AIS and related forums, I suck at searching for anything remotely sexual. It's such a commercial/porno driven area that all I get is buried under a bunch of crap. If you have any suggestions (or a link list?), by all means post 'em! Thanks.

[Peter]

I read BLO messages regularly and have deleted the spam that was so annoying.

Peter

[Priestess]

Hi Peter,
It's good to hear from you. I'd been starting to worry about whether you were okay.

[prince....ss?]

Welcome spysweeper,

I hope your wrong in thinking BLO is primarily fro the medical aspect of our conditions. I am a box of rocks when it comes to the medical stuff but it’s good to have people here that are able to answer the tough questions involving doctors.

I think you would have lots to contribute. Your thoughts and ideas may help someone with similar conditions and situations. I think we all need to know that we are not alone.

BLO is slow these days but I don’t think its hay day is over. At least I hope not. I would like to think that the good folks that made this place so great in the first place have not given up and will return to engage in thoughtful conversation.

Once again welcome

[Clouds]

Hi, I'm still here and read most days although this weekend I have been away. I'm still waiting to see the endo and I do actually have an appointment now, hopefully all will be ok when I see him. Now all I have to do is get through christmas :?

[Sunshine1]

I post but not so much anymore. I work 40 hours plus a week.

Been trying to get more into exercising but haven't been feeling all that well with the CAH and the thyroid condition. I think that I also have something wrong with my small intestines besides the Celiac Sprue. Been a gyno cancer survivor for two years (knock on wood) and that is always in the back of my mind.

Getting ready to go back to school in Jan.

Many times, I don't feel like I fit at this site or even with the CAH sites for that matter- I never say anything right anywhere. But, I have been spending time at thyroid sites and it seems that I click with them.

I've enjoyed this site and I've learned a lot.

It was a fun site before all the researchers came with their assumtions about these conditions - Gender this and gender that wtf ..read what the conditions are and then realize your questions aren't right. I don't get why they all think we don't fit into gender- many fit into gender and some don't which is no different than those without any condition. I'm sick if their microscopes and the sex educator one really was offensive --so back under the rock for the most part.

peace,

Aimee

I never meet Betsy but I'm grateful that she put this site up here and something she stated about CAH and people was really helpful.

[Kailana]

hi all, sorry i have been studying. it seems i have actually been spendingway to much time online and avoiding my studying. So i havent been by all that much lately. Finals this week too. I am still here though. just peeking now and then too see if anything really catches my attention.
Take care all, i'll be back at the end of the week.

[CC]

Hello Prince...ss

I'm still here :ARMS1: delighted to see you on the xxytalk forum where your presence is greatly appreciated by all.

What have I been doing :rolleye11 I've been on and off estrogen so many times in the past year that any sense of direction seems so confusing,I compare my life to a painting which may be finished one day......we'll see

I also saw my Endo doc today and I will be starting the HRT again.
I am told its extremely important to have a reasonable level of a primary hormone (horror moan) in our system to offset all the nasties and from what you have said thus far,your levels are extremely low.As you know,our bodies have their own special way of telling us when something is amiss (mine has been telling me for so long) so I suspect, restarting for you will be a step in the right direction.

I honestly wish you well
Best regards
Canice

[Priestess]

Does low estrone from lack of estradiol cause anything besides osteoporosis?

[prince....ss?]

Gee, it’s nice to see folks talking again. I also like so see you all are hanging in there and living life. My live has had many turns over the last year and I think I’m on the right path towards contentment. I would use happiness but that is still a concept that I don’t understand.

Priestess,

Over the last year I feel like I have been falling apart. Besides the osteoporosis, I have noticed joint pain, muscleweakness, total lack of energy along with some serious depression. I have also noticed a mental weakness just forgetting things and that is not like me. The other thing that I have had for a long time and I don’t know if it’s related to the hormones but in the winter I get seriously chapped lips.

So the hormones scare the hell out of me but being a cripple at 50 scares me worse. So I’m giving them a try again.

I just started the Estradiol patch yesterday and if I take well to that I should start a small amount of “T” in about 2 months so hopefully this will help with my failing body. I will continue on the Boniva and supplement the calcium and vitamin D.
That’s the plan

Back to the Roll Call!!! I love that you are checking in but I feel the attendance is still low so please continue with this thread.

One of the MIA’s is Betsy it’s been over three months since her last post??? I hope our beloved den mother is doing well.

[Priestess]

Hi princess,
I can understand the estradiol patch, and hopefully it doesn't make you crazy. But why testosterone to go with that?

I know what you mean about those symptoms. I had deal to with all that before my reproductive system started working a little bit, and even now at times when it takes a break. The extra-dry skin too, enough to have my whole face peeling off. It's the symptoms of hypogonadism. The estradiol should help for all of that. And some people have told me that a little progesterone helps too.

[Andre]

I am going to have to agree with Priestess here.

If you are using the estriol to add estrogen to your system, whatever is not needed will be turned into Testosterone. Adding T to it will get you a little more that you expect. For myslef, I cannot take T at all, the effects of T on myself is an added anger and aggression, neither of which is becoming to my nature.

I would be careful in how you use the two together, why do't you start with the E and see how that goes ?

[Priestess]

I am going to have to agree with Priestess here.

If you are using the estriol to add estrogen to your system, whatever is not needed will be turned into Testosterone. Adding T to it will get you a little more that you expect. For myslef, I cannot take T at all, the effects of T on myself is an added anger and aggression, neither of which is becoming to my nature.

I would be careful in how you use the two together, why do't you start with the E and see how that goes ?

I'm not so sure that excess estrogen would necessarily convert to testosterone, my naturally produced level of estradiol rises to over 400ng/dl each month, which feels pretty excessive to me, but I never get much of a t-level. Even when a lying conniving endo was busy shooting me up with exotic substances, my t-level still wouldn't rise even as far as the bottom of the male scale, and without his mad-scientist tactics it never goes anywhere close.

princess, maybe non-steroidal body-builder supplements might help with your muscle mass? Though you never said how low is low for your t-levels lately?

[fraulein_Maria]

[QUOTE=Priestess;12301]I'm not so sure that excess estrogen would necessarily convert to testosterone

>>> chiming in after being ill and needing to work like a dog anyway....

it doesn't NECESSARILY. But it CAN. Our liver's are wonderful chemical factories that can make almost anything we need...

provided we are genetically able to do so.

That being said, not all of us (again genetically) have the receptors to respond to whatever our bodies make.

Supplimentation is the obvious treatment for the former. the latter must make due with substitutes until something better comes along :(

Surgery should be a last, not first, resort to our problems as infants....

But definately ought to be available as an option to us as adults.

I'm at last feeling the downside to prednisone. My immune system which was once better than average if a bit over-active, has been surpressed to the point where i can no longer shake anything quickly.

I have reduced my dose to 10mgs a day consistently and would reduce it more if i could, but i'm frightened of doing anymore experimenting with my body without any guidance.

[RGMCjim]

Hi Everyone!
I've been very busy lately. Tomorrow, (the 8th & 9th) my partner Lee and I are singing in the Rochester Gay Men's Chorus Christmas show. I now work for the chorus selling ads. I'm singing a jazz improv of Jingle Bells as a solo. This week we got Lee's new dancing leg just in time for him to tap in the show. My partner lost his right leg at this time last year (diabetes). The accompanist for the Chorus is my ex and he's giving a Theatre Organ concert next weekend and I've got 3 solos in that.
On January 20th I'm instructing the members of the Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley Speakers Bureau on Intersexed people and our issues. This is a lot of responcibility because these people become the ambassadors of the intersexed to about 2,000 people per year.
I'm pretty bummed out about NYC backing out of a change in policy that would have allowed transsexuals to change their birth certificates without genital surgery. They would have needed just 2 letters, one from a physician and one from a Psychologist stating that the change of gender is appropriate and intended to be permanent. This would have been a great first step toward changing things in the whole state. Because of the way transsexuals are treated it's not possible for the intersexed to get our birth certificates changed either. I was originally assigned female but was raised male, given male hormones to start puberty (I was hypogonadal) and have lived my whole life as a boy/man. The court won't change my birth certificate because I haven't had any genital/organ surgery and they state that I have no more reason to claim being male than to claim being female so they aren't going to accept new medical information about me as evidence and won't count my life history. I was hoping that the NYC changes would help my cause. I don't have the money to hire the kind of legal help I'd need to take on the State.
Those who know me know I had a couple years of health problems that were pretty bad. I'm doing much better now. It turns out that many of my problems were exacerbated by the high adrenalin levels I run as a result of having CAH. I was 40 years old before I got a decent health workup and it was 7 years after that that someone finally put all my adrenal gland problems together with my ambiguous genitals and suggested that maybe I had more than just progestin exposure in utero. My Dad has my problems too and after I alerted him he was also found to have CAH. Because of the medical profession trying to hide intersexed people more attention was given to my gender (which was never a problem for me) than to the actual health issues that I have as a result of the physical condition that causes me to be intersexed. I can see now that my medical needs weren't even addressed because they were more concerned with the shape of my genitals and my gender identity. At least I didn't fall into the hands of the "genitals made to order" surgeons, but I also didn't find Doctors who would evaluate and treat my very real medical needs until I was middle aged. It was always out there, but I got funneled into the wrong hands.
Well, that's my update!! Hope everyone is marching along.

Jim Costich

[RGMCjim]

Hi all,

Hormone imbalances cause all kinds of health problems. Depression is a big one, and the female group is the culprit for that.

Excess testosterone gets converted to estrogen. I'm really suprised to hear that it works the other way too.

Too much attention has been given to trying to make our bodies conform to ordinary male/female patterns. Not enough has been done to figure out what our unique bodies require to be healthy, often a custom fit. IE. if you were assigned female they feed your body female hormones, if you were assigned male they feed you male ones. This doesn't always work for us! As others have stated, some of us can't utilize some hormones but can utilize others. What makes us healthy doesn't always match our genders, and normal for us isn't always the same as what's normal for plain males and females. Sometimes we need to fire our doctors and find new ones.

When it comes to hormones "balance" is everything. Healthy bodies need all the sex hormones. Testicles and ovaries produce the same stuff, but in different proportions. If we don't produce all those hormones or can't use some of them it screws us up and then it's all about damage control. We need doctors who know enough about the subject to tweek our systems from the outside. Not that easy to do. Most endocrinologists have far more knowledge about the other hormone systems. You have to shop around. My Dad was really lucky to have found a good one for me when I was 16(?).

To everyone trying to figure out what works for them, don't give up!!

Jim Costich

[Andre]

I like your explanations. They make sense.

I see this quest for a "magic formula" for myself as a puzzle. I know the form it is supposed to take, I know what goes into it but I have a hard time firguring out how the pieces fit together and what the big picture will look like.

My "horror moan" levels are definately out of whack when it comes to typical male/female levels. My T level is way low and my E levels are as high as a menopausal woman which accounts for my monthly cycles. I am just not equipped to handle any of the spontaneous crying and downright sad feelings. Asking for help from another male is out of the question, my wife is there for me (TG) and I could lean on her.

[Priestess]

Hi Jim :wavey: you mean after all this time they changed their minds and decided it wasn't progestin induced virilization after all?

Andre, well at least estrogen as high as a menopausal woman isn't too bad. It's when it stays over 200ng/dl for most of the month that it's not so good.

[Priestess]

We were doing so well at talking
Don't let the forums turn back into a ghost town
We have to start telling spooky stories around the campfire :shock:

[Meadow]

Priestess,

I wouldn't worry too much that there is a slight lull in the action. Even I was having a hard time keeping up!! There seems to be a natural ebb and tide to things. We were just getting concerned that there was NO ONE out there. But, many were just in their houses. Then, there was a rush hour were many persons flooded into the streets. Everyone is here, its just not all at once.

I don't always talk a lot myself, as on many things I don't have a good opinion. But, if there is conversation on which I have strong feelings . . . well, then you will find me in the middle!!

All the Best!!

Meadow

[Andre]

I don't think that this forum will become a ghost town, Priestess. There is too much to say.

My hands are getting cramped lately and I don't know why. Last night, I had dinner with the rest of my office crew, and just when I was cutting the steak, my left hand started to cramp up and was useless until I rubbed it. Before it was my leg, bugging me in the middle of the night and now it's my hand.

I am a little worried here.

[Priestess]

I don't think that this forum will become a ghost town, Priestess. There is too much to say.

My hands are getting cramped lately and I don't know why. Last night, I had dinner with the rest of my office crew, and just when I was cutting the steak, my left hand started to cramp up and was useless until I rubbed it. Before it was my leg, bugging me in the middle of the night and now it's my hand.

I am a little worried here.

I hope it's not arthritis? It might just be tiredness, though hormonal imbalances can cause pretty bad cramps, and not just in the pelvic area.

[Andre]

I didn't think of that. I need to get this resolved. I am starting to crawl back into my cave. What I mean by that is that I get into these pensive moods and I just want to be with myself only. And some paper so that I can draw.

I hate this emotional roller coaster when the balances are out. I've been off T now 10 months and I need something else.

Talk to me, I need to get out of this funk.

[Priestess]

I didn't think of that. I need to get this resolved. I am starting to crawl back into my cave. What I mean by that is that I get into these pensive moods and I just want to be with myself only. And some paper so that I can draw.

I hate this emotional roller coaster when the balances are out. I've been off T now 10 months and I need something else.

Talk to me, I need to get out of this funk.

Okay Andre, I'm still here to talk to :2in1:
If you didn't like testosterone, I'm not sure about what else there is to take. Sure there's estrogen, but would you want your life to go where that would take you? Actually too much estrogen isn't so mellow either.
What kind of art do you like doing? I used to be okay with artwork a long time ago, until my hands got all shakey around the time when puberty should have come for me (but didn't, it was many years late)

[Andre]

I like free hand, more like either nature scenes or original artwork that sourrounds a name. I am making one now for my new avatar. It depends, when I am relaxed, I'll draft a project up (dimensions and all), when I am melancholy I will draw nature scenes and when I am somewhat like this, they usually go dark like freeform graphitti.

I also make things out of wood, like games. I sometimes use the computer to make more colorful images and play around with that. Or I'll go into the shop and I'll make myself do something with machines, clean them or fix them. Anything to get me out of my funk.

I went by a music conservatorium today and decided to take some guitar lessons. A friend of mine is giving me his guiatar, says it was to help me out of the times when I feel like this. I love my freinds, they care so much about me, like I do for them.

[Priestess]

That sounds like you have a lot of talent Andre. Your avatar should be be interesting. I've always had trouble coming up with one that fits into 100*100 yet still looks good.

[Andre]

Thanks. I've always had a knack for putting my thoughts on a medium. I see that my daughter is starting to develop this as well, we encourage eachother.

Funny that I have always been very musical but never picked up an instrument. Guess it's never too late. You play any intruments ?

[Priestess]

Thanks. I've always had a knack for putting my thoughts on a medium. I see that my daughter is starting to develop this as well, we encourage eachother.

Funny that I have always been very musical but never picked up an instrument. Guess it's never too late. You play any intruments ?

I used to try 8-) We really really need a blues brothers smiley with a hat :rolleye13

Let's see, there was the guitar, and the piano, and the saxaphone. The guitar didn't work out, it was pretty hard for me to finger any chords because of some minor webbing between my fingers which limits how far I can spread them. I was a little better at the piano, I guess. The saxaphone was fun, and I wasn't too bad at it, as beginners go. One of these days, I should try again ...

It does make me appreciate how much talent real musicians have. They even make it look easy.

[Andre]

So this is what I've been working on in the last 3 hours. It's a take on Mosaic 47xxy and it's influence on cell division.

[Priestess]

So this is what I've been working on in the last 3 hours. It's a take on Mosaic 47xxy and it's influence on cell division.

Well, it's unique :cool: That does seem like a not so easy idea to represent graphically. It looks better than when I tried to use an image from my pelvic mri as an avatar :redface:

[mohnblume]

Just want to say hello again ... I haven't been looking into this forum for a while. Please forgive me that I get the impression to be in a drug store ... the same I criticize it in Germany. We will go on to discuss estros and testos ... as long as doctors throw their bones in front of us and the law keeps us happily busy. Is that the life as intersexual or DSD or VSD, we want to have to gon on? Is this the life we want to have for the next generation? Do we want that young children still will be operated in order to force us in one of the bipolaric genders?

Ernesta, the Mohnblume

[beach]

funny i was just going to check in , and see if any of the OLD membes were still around ? bettsy ya still out there girl? . well hi to all ,,, beach . see ive been down graded to 'just member'

[Az1]

I am bouncing around , Az1.

[beach]

hi az , long time how ya doin ? beach . used to be senior member ,sniff lol

[boz47xxy]

My name is Boz and I come from Columbus, Ohio. I know Canice and that other new guy named Andre.

It is true I haven't been to this site in quite some time. Well at least since I signed up. Sorry.
I hope to make a lasting impact here. :wave1: Hi Canice! Hi Andre!

Boz

[Andre]

Hello guys.

Boz, Canice and I are good friends, whe have seen eachother through thick and thin and we still are friends. :beer:

[Priestess]

My name is Boz and I come from Columbus, Ohio. I know Canice and that other new guy named Andre.

It is true I haven't been to this site in quite some time. Well at least since I signed up. Sorry.
I hope to make a lasting impact here. :wave1: Hi Canice! Hi Andre!

Boz

Hello Boz :sign16:

[sparklingdreams]

Well I have more Trauma I'm trying to recover from,

I had an Intrathecal(spinal) Baclofen test injection. It involved all the standard spinal stuff. The X-Ray machine, two Doctors, tons of nurses, & tons of others. My therapist did come with us, which did save my life... but I still nearly had a complete break down. But now my T understands that Doctors have cause me just as much, if not more, pain than the father & brother did in their abusing me.

I have started to just let go of any expectation of actually getting anything to help my Generalized Dystonia, and I've accepted that I'll prolly never be able to correct the mutilations that were done to my body. So instead we're just moving on & finding someone special to share my life with. Though I have no doubt that I still have tons of work & growth to do before I'm as healed as I can be. That is of course still hoping that I can heal more than I have. Which may turn out not to be possible. I'm just ready to let go of the past & move on. The past just like won't let go of me. I'm so glad that the holiday triggers are almost gone. *Hugs* to everyone & best wishes on everyones journey of healing.