Doc Says 11

[Rycharde]

My doctor received my medical records yesterday and called me in for a chat. He believes that it is most likely that I have an 11 hydroxylase CAH.
Now we're rushing to get me into a good endo for sure.

The great thing about my doctor is that he outwardly expressed to me when we met that he believes I am an amazing young man and that I seem completely satisfied and at home in my male gender role.
He is sure that my CAH may have begun to masculinize my body however my choices in life have made me into a fine young man.

We are going to work on a course together to reach both my health and life goals through medicine.

Just wanted to share the good news with everyone on that, and we're hoping for an exact diagnosis when the baby is born.

He also took one look at my 3 ft tall 2 year old and suggested we do tests on her as well, more at the same time as mine are done so that he can send us to Toronto to a gene specialist together instead of us all going separately. I always bugged my girl about being a little Sasquatch with her hairy back but I guess this also means that she may have CAH.
She's bigger, tougher and stronger than most kids twice her age. I always thought it was just the weight lifting, exercise and yoga I do with her. People are often shocked when they learn her age because of her intelligence, social development and stature.
Last night she left me alone at the cafe to socialize with a knitting group she was interested in...They said they never had such a pleasure than as they did with her company. She sat and talked...Sat and Talked...at two. *sigh* only my kid eh.

[Misae]

Yes, those who strive to be men are greeted as heroes.
Those who maintain that they remain women are forsaken as mad.
Who is the decider who makes only some honored? In what mirror will they be judged?

[Rycharde]

Who's judging? Just be who you are eh?

At least you who maintain that you are female end up being widely accepted and people don't try to drive you away as a tranny or throw you into messed up ideals.

You're a woman, you were born a woman, so you got some hormones that don't go with your femaleness. Outside of immediate medical concerns, you can still easily be a woman.
It's so hard for me to be a man sometimes. Women put your skirts on, put on a heel and some nice makeup and everyone knows you are a woman. But I have to actually correct people and let them know, no I'm not her mommy, I'm daddy. I'm using the mens room because I stand to pee, I'm not buying this for my boyfriend, I wear mens clothes, no I won't walk to the other side of the store to try on jeans in the womens change room.

That is the war I strive to fight as a young man. Your hormones don't agree with your female body sometimes.
My whole body dosen't agree with who I am, my brain is hardwired male. I can't live as a woman no matter what I do to look and feel like one. I can't fit into my body at all ever.
Believe me I've moved to a new country to marry prince charming, had a fairy tale wedding and a gorgeous baby with the man of my dreams. I punched his lights out and came back to live as myself in Canada.

The mere fact that you are complaining that I might get more recognition for what I am doing with my life than you are for yours is proof of why I would be called a fine young man and given such praise. Because I've struggled on my own. Compared my life to no ones and done what I have had to do to live as myself for myself is reason enough for me to be allowed just a little praise once in a while.

If you can complain about that then I don't know what to say to you.

I admire your struggle. I know that even if my gender were female it would be hard for me to ever feel like a woman because of how my body is. I totally admire your strength and ability to be who you are.
You aren't mad in any notion but that you actually feel you are seen as mad.

You are just being you and I praise you for that, I admire you for that. Is that not enough?
You've helped me. Thank you. Don't ever talk down about yourself.

[Misae]

Most sorry, Rycharde san. I will go.

[Wyn]

(Rycharde) that you weren't mutilated to 'fit' your assignment. That you were able to have your child. Some will never have that joy.

[Rycharde]

I am completely greatful that I am able to have a child. So far as concerns there is some speculation that although my phallus was not touched, that the scar tissue around my meatus may be caused by alterations made at birth. At the end there are strings of almost dead tissue and it is uneven at the tip. My complete medical records are on their way from the hospital I was born at. I wonder if this will show or if it was even documented.

I'm happy just to be alive, honestly. If I had nothing but blank space there I'd be happy. I'd adopt and I'd make due.

What is important is that I'm alive and living my life as I see fit.
I almost died 2 years ago to this month. My water toxicity resembled that of a person who had at my weight consumed 80+ liters of water after only three or so. I drank a lot of water that day but not enough to cause the reaction I suffered from it.

Every day I'm just grateful to be alive, let alone have my children and my partial phallus.
I'm breathing, how awesome is that. I came WAY TOO CLOSE to death not to appreciate everything I'm given.

Why do you think I have to live my way or no way. I've been given another chance at life and I was given this chance to be who I really am. If I did not pursue my life as a man, and as my true self, life would not be worth living and I would be undeserving of this opportunity to truly be myself.

[amy3000]

well, 11 b would suprise me from what you have described. - totally. but your doctor may be right. it's pretty easy to tell if it is.

some one said 17 alpha, and i though 3bHSD - I think those two are worth checking for - but the tests cover them all and lead you to an answer - it doesn't really matter what the particular polymorphism (or mutation) is - what matters is what will make you feel better - ie if you have very low cortisol you might feel a bit better if you have some - cortisol is about energy and health and not so much gender or sex.

and you know the answer to the testosterone thing - you want testosterone which is fine.

Just to clarify - I have never read of any form of CAH that confers the trait to 1 in 2 of your children - your child may have a 1 in 2 chance of being a CARRIER, but this does not necissarily mean being affected. CAH is autosomal recessive - which means unless people are making babies with relations *sometimes this is accidental - who knows all their third cousins?* it is unlikley you will pass it on in it's disease state.

I have read of one compound heterozygote with CAH (17alpha hydroxylase) - I would be interested in references of any cah that is not autosomal recessive. (this is more directed at a couple of people who have made comments - nt you rycharde)

But rychard you don't care about that stuff i suspect. Sounds like you have a good doctor.

Wait untill after pregnancy before you get the diagnostic tests for CAH done - who kows what sorts of odd things pregnancy can throw up - they will test heaps of hormones, and you have to hope that the doc will be able to spot oddness - often they don't know consider atypical CAH which gives quite different results that can almost appear in 'normal' reference ranges....

but it could be something else too - might be something you never find out about - I think that you will find that even trannies as you call them have genetic reasoons for beiing trannies - theirs some interesting research coming from the karolinska institute in sweden about trannies having some interesting genes compared to others. also intersex people who want to change gender and don't know what their condition is are often called trannies for the simple fact the want to alter something about them selves in that way - the body does all sorts of weird shit with regards to gender, hormones are funny things, and under very complex control and form the fundamental basis for many things in life.

[amy3000]

the usual infant blood tests for CAH check for HIGH 17 ohp levels, - these are present in classical CAH. In nonclassical CAH these levels are sometimes just the opposite - low - so not detected.

i imagine in canada every child is tested for classical CAH effects at birth - this happens in many countries.

[amy3000]

big chins maybe - very light effect.

1st degree consanguanuity (incest with imediate family members), can have effects worse than exposure to nuclear radiation - ranging from non vialble pregnancy, mental retardation, gross congenital abnormalities - to occasionally no apparent affect. Sometimes these people are born with no genital formation or closure at all, instead they have a hole where their anus and sex organs should be, and their insides pour out when they are born and die.

2nd - 3rd degree (second or third cousins- often this happens accidentally) - similar results as exposure to high environmental levels of dioxins - increase rate of congenital abnormality from 1 in 1000 (normal) to 4 -5 in 1000 births. things like CAH, cystic fibrosis, aand comonly hypospadias and precocious puberty....

long chins wouldn't seem like such a problem.

[Rycharde]

Thanks Amy!

Whatever it is it's something right? Well the endocrinologist will take me about 4 months to get into see. By then I'll be a month after giving birth ( at least ) BUT Because I had so much success with breastfeeding in the past (not to mention it makes my breasts go away when I'm done) I'm going to go for at least 3 months of nursing for my little guy.

What I'm hoping for is that nursing does not effect the tests as much as being pregnant does.
If it turns out that I do need cortisol and that it will even out some of my issues then I may feel stable not taking testosterone for a while. I want to actually hold off taking the testosterone as long as I can because I am firm advocate of breast feeding. (the breastfeeding diet-lose all your baby fat in 6 months!)

I understand how a lot of people can really misconceive the idea of transgenderisim in intersex individuals who wish to be male, despite a dominantly female genetic structure. Well I'm not changing anything really. Just making up for what nature left out.
I'd be changing a lot to try and make myself female, I'd need breast implants, I'd need to do something about the broad shoulders and get electrolysis, take voice lessons so I don't sound so fake as a female, learn how to be a girl...that would be very difficult for me. Just the way I sit, walk, gesture, it's all male. I'm not changing anything. I've always been a man. I've also always had a vagina. Not such a big deal I say, in my mind, I've never felt less because of it. I just feel very left behind because I started to become a man at the same time as all my friends and then just...nothing.
That's why I need my testosterone... I just want to be who I am without being forced to examine the option of being a woman.

Well either way I know a few facts. My genitals, my coma, my seizures, my ups and downs that seem more physical than mental, many things that just seem out of place for a 24 year old XX person.
Things I really want to get a handle on.

I also agree with you that needing cortisol IS about Health, not gender.

I honestly think that in either case, I'd still be on the same path, have the same feelings and the same needs. I've been a boy since I can remember and I've Never associated my health issues with my gender issues until recently.
It's interesting now that I am learning about it.

All I want is to be healthy and to be able to continue to mature into an adult, physically. Which means, for me, becoming more male.

I'd like to note some differences I've found with myself and the majority of the trans population. First off I love having babies, second I love having the ability to breast feed them. I've never had any wish or need to remove any of my female parts and I do love the way my body is. Noting that I am very masculine to start with.
If I had a feminine body and gender I assume I'd love being a woman. Just that I was gifted with a masculine gender and masculinized female body that I feel more in tune with my male self. I am on a gender borderline, I do embrace and cherish my female qualities.
I find myself to be very attractive and I look very young for my age. I think I'm perfect. Well when I'm not pregnant, but my baby boy is perfect!

I think maybe transgendered people are not happy with how they are born. That is why I avoid ID'ing as TG as much as I can because I am very happy with how I am. Except for my health issues and the sudden stop in my pubesant development I am extremely satisfied with who I am.

[Misae]

The things you say have the appearance of contradictions, but I have not the wisdom to say so. Chances are that no one will ever need to tell you "... sorry Roger, you tiger now".