Intersex Community Forums | Bodies Like Ours - Looking for someone in Michigan

uriela

07-27-03, 03:24 AM

Tiffany,

I'm a transwoman, maybe a touch of PAIS, so I don't quite fit the bill. My closest friend is a regular woman with a grown daughter. The nearest T-friend I have is in Texas. Well, maybe I haven't been the easiest person to get to know. I do have a friend with CAH, but we haven't talked in a while and she hasn't answered her phone in the last two days. Out being a rock star? She does sing with a band. And says she sang the "Star Spangled Banner" at a baseball game. Minor interlude. We met outside my therapist's office and I couldn't figure out exactly what she was. She had short black thick curly hair and was wearing a skirt. My therapist has a lot of trans clients, so I asked her if she was M2F or F2M. M2F (something doesn't quite seem right with this picture), she said. It should have been obvious because she was wearing a skirt. She was talking to the wrong person to presume I would think that would make anything obvious. Her voice was quite gruff.

She told me I was a person she wanted to get to know and she got her wish. She got her clothes at Lord and Taylor and whatnot--you know, the hoity-toity stores. I got her onto resale stores. I do my nails at home and she goes to the salon. For the French manicure, for example. She used to wear ghastly blonde wigs (so my therapist says), but between my therapist and her receptionist they got her to let her own really beautiful hair grow. When she told me she was XX and had "female" on her birth certificate, and she didn't need to get a name change or have the b.c. corrected (I had paid for a name change). I was not a little stunned. My own therapist was like, "yeah, right", when she told her she was intersex. So was I and I probed her about what kind of intersex she was. She didn't seem to be able to verbalize it. The conversations were a bit one-sided. I asked her if she were CAH, and she said, "Yeah". I believed her more when I asked about whether she took cortisone and she "yeah"ed that too.

She had known about it since she was little and went by a female name at school, etc., and said she was quite open about it. Studying for a personnel job. Didn't think of her stage career as really work. I don't go to concerts as a rule, and certainly not rock concerts. We really don't have much in common. The one-sided conversations were pretty much a turn-off to me. We are not exactly next-door neighbors. We did authorize our mutual therapist to talk to each of us about the other, in case you are wondering. And she thought it might be a good idea for us to try to be friends. Both of us had intended to do some things together this summer, but life goes on. It was really an eye-opener to me to meet a person like her. And it did help me validate myself to have known her. Crazy, isn't it?

We've been to each other's houses and met the respective residents. She came over here and put my old hard drive in. I thought she was going to do major damage and finally pointed out that the fan housing was supposed to be moved first. I was too timid to try to do it, but after that minor detail was passed, she finished in no time flat. I heard she was a demon with housework and I am still a slob. :(

We both considered the same surgeon and I wouldn't doubt she has what little she wants done taken care of long before me. I guess we both want to be "normal" women. Maybe that's the reason I don't have many trannie friends. Maybe that's why she didn't care to sign up for this list, even though I suggested it. Maybe that is why the transwoman I met at my therapist's office tramped right on by me while I was at the window talking and went straight to her study and plopped on the couch. I didn't even get a chance to compliment her on finally dressing like a woman and wearing makeup. Then, too, she might have thought I wasn't trans. Nah!

I see my doctor on Tuesday. I should have confronted him about my elevated testosterone level when I started hormone therapy. Should have made me a super-male, he said. We both see the same doctor, can you believe that? She says he is just a regular doctor to her. Well, I don't have much for complications and I don't know how many medications she is on. I cut off my anti-depressants - uh-oh - against doctor's orders! Hope he won't fire me!

Anyhoo! Welcome to Bodies and I hope you find a correspondent.

Anonymously,

Uriela