Natasha (again)
09-19-03, 01:35 PM
I was three and a half or so when I was finally operated on.
My mother left me with my grandma when I was born, her step mom who had raised her. She raised me as a girl for the first three years of my life. Those were good years, she was my best friend. I was a real person to her, and not a pet to be groomed as I was to my mother.
She moved in with mom along with me. But my mother and her new husband, sent her home, sometime before the surgery. Because she was against them trying to raise me as a boy, after she had raised me as a girl for my first three years.
After months of hellish abuse, and missing Grandma so badly I wish I would die. I was told we were going to go visit her
We loaded up in the car to "go see grandma", but we wound up at a small private hospital somewhere, and my life got even worse, than it had been for the last few months.
Maybe I should, at age 51, finally understand and forgive my parents for what they did to me. But I cannot. I have tried to, but I don't think they were pressured. Mom wanted a boy and that was it, or that is she did not want a girl. I don't know for sure. But I can't help wonder, if there was just not room enough in her house for two women.
I still cannot view the doctors who did this, as anything but money grubbing monsters. They should have known better.
I relate perfectly to being mislead and patronized by doctors as an adult too. I was continually lied to, kept in the dark and refused helpful assistance. In my quest to discover the truth about my own body, right a wrong, and undo a horrible mistake.
The first time I had a karyotype done, the doctor refused to show me what the results were. He said "I would abuse the results". Can you believe that! He was too simple minded to realize that his statement confirmed what I knew must be the case. Yet he just had to reinforce that in his view, I was less than a full human being, and "The Protocol of Secrecy" was more important.
Sorry, my bad I guess, in some peoples eyes here. But I do not think that parents have much of an excuse in many cases, and doctors have no excuse at all, in most cases.
Natasha
My mother left me with my grandma when I was born, her step mom who had raised her. She raised me as a girl for the first three years of my life. Those were good years, she was my best friend. I was a real person to her, and not a pet to be groomed as I was to my mother.
She moved in with mom along with me. But my mother and her new husband, sent her home, sometime before the surgery. Because she was against them trying to raise me as a boy, after she had raised me as a girl for my first three years.
After months of hellish abuse, and missing Grandma so badly I wish I would die. I was told we were going to go visit her
We loaded up in the car to "go see grandma", but we wound up at a small private hospital somewhere, and my life got even worse, than it had been for the last few months.
Maybe I should, at age 51, finally understand and forgive my parents for what they did to me. But I cannot. I have tried to, but I don't think they were pressured. Mom wanted a boy and that was it, or that is she did not want a girl. I don't know for sure. But I can't help wonder, if there was just not room enough in her house for two women.
I still cannot view the doctors who did this, as anything but money grubbing monsters. They should have known better.
I relate perfectly to being mislead and patronized by doctors as an adult too. I was continually lied to, kept in the dark and refused helpful assistance. In my quest to discover the truth about my own body, right a wrong, and undo a horrible mistake.
The first time I had a karyotype done, the doctor refused to show me what the results were. He said "I would abuse the results". Can you believe that! He was too simple minded to realize that his statement confirmed what I knew must be the case. Yet he just had to reinforce that in his view, I was less than a full human being, and "The Protocol of Secrecy" was more important.
Sorry, my bad I guess, in some peoples eyes here. But I do not think that parents have much of an excuse in many cases, and doctors have no excuse at all, in most cases.
Natasha