Self-hurting

[Sofie]

I'm not sure if this is the right place to write about this. For many years I have been cutting and burning myself and still do so once in a while. It makes me feel less "empty". Somehow I'm even proud about the scarring on my hands and arms, but if someone asks me about how I got them, I always invent a story.
This might be an embarrasing question, but has anyone else here experienced something similar?

Sofie

[Emi]

yes, although i haven't been doing it very recently. my understanding is that this is a fairly common tactic people (especially those with psychological trauma issues and dissociative tendencies) use to self-medicate. please do it safe and clean, though, cuz trust me you wouldn't want to get bacteria infection and stuff.

[Sofie]

Thank you
---------------
Sofie

[elijah]

i have had experience with self injury in the past as well.
you certainly arent alone.

[Az1]

i do not feel pain , never have .
my pain is too deep for physical pain.
I had always tried to kill what was inside me i could not control.
I hated the fact of being IS. I knew from a very young age something was not right within me.
I wanted to escape this,30 some odd years I am still here and trying to understand me. I know others whom I live with will never accept me, because of their lack of comprehending individuals who are IS.
When I found out I could not have children (ever) of my own that hurt more than any pain i could ever endure. In my family everyone of my siblings and cousins have children and this causes pain.
I have someone who loves me but not for the reasons i want to be loved. Pain comes in many forms and degrees when I have found others who try to understand me and want to listen to my thoughts and ideas the crunching blow comes to them when I mention I am IS.
Pain will always live within ourselves either or.
Az1 Someday

Muhoe

[Meresa]

Sofie,

I used to cut when I was growing up, usually after an argument with my parents. Still have scars on my left arm if you know where to look. Although I have not cut in nearly 20 years, I still remember how it feels when you want to. You are not alone.

You may find this link helpful:
http://www.latebloomerpublishing.com/self_injury.htm

PM me if you ever want to talk about it (or just talk). :)

[Dana Gold]

At various times throughout my life I would take my cigarette and burn myself on the breast and genital area; sometimes I would beat myself on the head and face with my fists . In my adolescent years, I would claw at my breasts and beat on my hips, squeeze my genitals until they hurt while cursing at them. Speaking for myself, I would say that I hated myself. I considered my body to be the cause of torment from others...which it was....and so it was a form of self-punishment. Any scars or marks were the badge of my suffering.
Strangely enough, the pain reminded me that I was alive as well thinking I could redirect my mental pain toward physical..was I trying to substitute one for the other? I used to joke with people when they told me that they had a headache and I offered to help them rid that pain by stomping their foot and they would forget about their headache. I, as of a few years ago, have stopped hating myself so much, am going through the process of learning to love myself and heal...it is not narcissism. And yes,( rarely only)I still have the urge to physically harm myself. However I beat upon myself psychologically mostly. I'm getting better..it takes time. Please take care. Bye.

Dana