Hello, new person here.

[Romanadvora]

Hello. I am new here. I suppose everyone has to be new at some stage. I have been looking through this forum a bit but notice it seems to be mostly US and Canadian content. Any other Australians?
I've only ever known two other IS people. One through a mutual friend (we shared the same web host who was also IS) but I did not realise they were IS until after they died. My web host is also IS, though they find some difficulty in talking about it to people other than me. We are also not in the same city. So I'm looking for a few more contacts.

One big questions is, how to you tell other people about this? I have been thinking of telling my co-workers at work as I think a lot of them think I am too sensative. I guess I am, on certain aspects, and think it would just be easier if they knew the truth rather than isolating me because they think I'll take offense to all of their jokes etc.

Thanks,
Romanadvouratrelundar (It's pronounced Ro-mana-de-vora-tree-lun-da. And yes, it's my real name)

[Jules]

Yes, we did have a someone from Australia, Girlyboy.
he was very smart and I miss his posts. He had a bout of depression and never came back to this site after leaving a very sad message.

His posts are still wonderfull though and if you scoll back you can find him.

DO you have a nick name? That is easier to call you by?

Your name is great but it is like a tounge twister.

How do you tell people your intersexed???

Well you have to be ready for all kinds of reactions.

and be willing to pay the price of loosing some friends if comming out is realy important to you.

Everything has a price.

[Jules]

Ask them if they know what intersex is/

But not at work. There are some people that will not react well no matter what.

It is better to talk about such things outside of work.


If you don't mind me asking, do you have a partner??

How did you find out yourself that you are intersexed?

[Az1]

welcome to bodies like ours.

I have to agree with Jules losing friends and family over something that is not talked about around the dinner table can be real embarrassing for you. Here you are laying out what you think you are and the person who is taking this in does not know what to say.
I have tried to explain myself to my family and friends and I am considered gay.
I have told my XX friends and they seem like it is my problem and they do not want useless baggage around them. I do not tell men what I am because of all the weird kinds of questions gets asked I am not comfortable around them when this happens.Although I have found some individuals who accept me for who I am and they understand or at least try to understand. So coming out and telling the closest friends who you are will not be a losing battle but you will find out who you consider your friends and family are.

Muhoe

Az1

[Dana Gold]

Welcome to our group here at BLO:D
I'm intrigued by your unique name; may I ask what culture/country it is derived from? Hungarian, perhaps? My birth last name was Wundrack; pronounced Voont- rock.
You mentioned: isolating you and making jokes.....if you don't mind, I'd like to know what kind of jokes are they making? I've been the object of peoples' ridicule before and felt the pain and loneliness of subsequent isolation. My recommendation would be to exercise caution; not all people understand the word intersex and/or what it means to be intersexed. You would have to know a little more of each person before you tell them. Have you been working there for a short or long period of time? I do believe that you deserve more respect than you are seemingly getting at the present. I am a very sensitive person also. It is only natural for a lot of us to be so, therefore you are in good company here at BLO.

Anyway, take care.

Dana:)

[ptrinkl108]

Welcome to "Bodies". I agree with the posts above, that you should go with your gut feelings about who to let know that you are intersexed. I would not tell people in your office if your goal is to be more popular. If you think that the truth is important, go ahead, otherwise ignore them. Is there any chance that you are related to a Time Lord/Lady named Romanadvoratrelundar?

Peter

[Romanadvora]

Originally posted by ptrinkl108
Is there any chance that you are related to a Time Lord/Lady named Romanadvoratrelundar?

Peter

Not quite. I belive she was named after one of my anscestors. The name means "Small girl who sits at the pool of the three moons." You will note that my name is correctly spelled, with the extra U.

My whole family has strange names. My family name for example is Starfield. We seem to be the only Starfields in Australia. My parents explained that My mother's parents are convinced they come from another planet, and point out the star that we've supposed to have come from. I think it's a family tradition to confuse kids. But it could explain things like the the continuing chain of hermaphrodites we've hand in the family and the fact that none of us can get lost. I think one of our anscestors had a vivid imagination. :)

[Romanadvora]

Originally posted by Jules
Yes, we did have a someone from Australia, Girlyboy.
he was very smart and I miss his posts. He had a bout of depression and never came back to this site after leaving a very sad message.

His posts are still wonderfull though and if you scoll back you can find him.


I knew Girlyboy! Yes, unfortunatly they are no longer with us. My email hoster used to know GB too. Girlyboy did suffer very badly from depression, though they tried hard not to show it or depress other people. Girlyboy taught me non gender specific language! :)



DO you have a nick name? That is easier to call you by?

Your name is great but it is like a tounge twister.



No, I'm just Romanadvouratrelundar. I like my name. I strongly suspect I'm the only one with it. However, you can call me Romana for short. But I do really like me full name.



How do you tell people your intersexed???

Well you have to be ready for all kinds of reactions.

and be willing to pay the price of loosing some friends if comming out is realy important to you.

Everything has a price.

Yes, everything does. I work in a male dominated enviornment. There are two females there, but one is ex-navy and very blokey. So I find it hard some times to fit in. The jokes I mention are sexist jokes, or jokes that sterotype people, like racist jokes. They just laugh away, and although they realise I take offence, they don't really curb the jokes. I think they see me as just being too sensative, and not having a real reason to be offended by jokes that put down people based on gender or race.


If you don't mind me asking, do you have a partner??

How did you find out yourself that you are intersexed?


I have a number of other intersexed relatives, cousins, sublings of parents, and parents. I'm convinced it's something they've been inbreeding. :) Don't laugh, more than one cousin in the past has children by another cousin. It's that silly out of space thing again. No, my family is not weird. Just different.

No, I do not have a partnet. I'm looking for one. I too suffer from loneliness.

[lost]

hi romanadvouratrelundar,

welcome to bodies like ours ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
I am an expert on hiding emotions and true identity ,, one month with me and the first seat taken in the lunch room will be the one next to you. It is very easy to become the most popular person in the room,,,,,,,,,,,, but it is even easier to lose sight of your true feelings if you continue to push them aside,,,,, pretty soon you don't even recognize them anymore .

All I can say for sure is : allow yourself to feel your feelings , don't change who you are to please others or to fit in better .

remember this ....... just bringing a sexual joke to the work place , can and has been deemed to be a form of sexual harressment.

I would suggest going to a member of management , if management is good ,,, they should be able to take care of the situation , with-out you having to fear retalliation from them.
email me if you would like some suggestions on how to bring up the subject with your management.

I am very very sad to hear girlyboy is not with us any more ,,,,,,,I am very pissed i never got to meet gb ,,,,,,,,,,,, After i came here and read all the posts ,,, there was something about girlyboy that made me want to talk to most of all. and when I read the last post gb posted ,,,, i was like noooooooooooooooooo.
I have held on to the hope that some day girlyboy would come back to blo,,,, but i guess that is not going to happen :(

[Romanadvora]

Originally posted by lost
I am very very sad to hear girlyboy is not with us any more ,,,,,,,I am very pissed i never got to meet gb ,,,,,,,,,,,, After i came here and read all the posts ,,, there was something about girlyboy that made me want to talk to most of all. and when I read the last post gb posted ,,,, i was like noooooooooooooooooo.
I have held on to the hope that some day girlyboy would come back to blo,,,, but i guess that is not going to happen :(

I did not phrase that very well did I. Girlyboy is not dead. GB attempted suicide but thankfully was not sucessful. After being in a coma for several months GB revived, went into therephy and now lives in Sydney somewhere. GB is "not with us" in the terms that GB no longer uses the Web and does not use my web hoster anymore. But last I checked, GB is still alive. I think GB was so ashamed of what they did that they did not feel brave enough to visit this site. Also GB found the insensivity of people on other web sites / forums to cause a lot of depression so has 'disconnected' from the Internet.

That was a silly way to phrase that. Sorry. I meant Girlyboy is no longer online or no longer communicating much with myself and my webhost who is also IS.

So I guess that is good news, in a way.

[Betsy]

That GB is alive is very good news. Hopefully he will be pay us a visit one day.

Welcome Romanadvoratrelundar, to Bodies Like Ours. I've been busy the past few days so I never got to extend the welcome with everyone else.

Betsy

[Romanadvora]

Hello Betsy.
Thanks for the greeting. If it's not too offensive, can I ask what a Gadabout is?

[Betsy]

From dictionary.com:

gad·a·bout ( P ) Pronunciation Key (gd-bout)
n.
One who roams or roves about, as in search of amusement or social activity.

;)

Betsy

[Romanadvora]

Back to my original query. Does anyone know good strategies for letting co-workers know of this issue? Has anyone done it? Got advice from their experience?

Thanks.

Romanadvouratrelundar.

[Betsy]

I'm totally out at the job where I freelance two days a week. They have been incredibly supportive and are great about accomodating me if I can't work on my normal days so that I still get my time in each week.

betsy

[Jules]

I'm out at work myself, if fact I have been out as Intersexed for three years.

I had told one coworker five years ago over dinner at her place,(not at work) and I had rumors of me haveing a penus floating about me. Of course everybody who believed the rumors thought I was just crazy.

Once I was in 'Time"..

A lot of people who used to make fun of me behind my back don't dare look me in the eyes.

Think it out first! It was worse being thought that I was a lier then intersexed girl, and what am I going to do to prove that I'm telling the truth pull down my pants?

All the teenagers at work at first thought I was a lier. When your trapped with people who think you tell wacked out storys you have to hold that in. I had to learn to breath slow to control my anger sometimes.

The truth is a double edge sword. I've worked at many stores and sometimes the reaction is bad, I have to exspect that, It made working in those stores like bareing a extra cross.

You realy have to be ready to say to yourself "BRING IT ON!!" If you happen to find yourself temporarly trapped working with stupied people who don't understand.

I will give you this advice Romanadvora It is better that you seek to understand your coworkers---- even on a simple level--then it is to try and get them to understand you. At least to that first.

If you want them to understand you, only by understanding them,(your coworkers) gives you the forsite of who you should tell and who you shouldn't.

[Romanadvora]

Thank you Jules. I think I have trouble understanding people. I think I should be a light house keeper. That way I could avoid people full stop. But there are just automated light houses here these days.

[Meresa]

Originally posted by Romanadvora
Thank you Jules. I think I have trouble understanding people. I think I should be a light house keeper. That way I could avoid people full stop. But there are just automated light houses here these days.

I am glad they are automated. otherwise you might have gotten a job there and been lost to us forever.

Romanadvora, you have so much to offer everyone here, and the rest of the world too. Please don't hide yourself away. I for one am glad you found us!!

[Glenn]

I tend to keep pretty quiet at work. I think it's best to get to know your coworkers a little, then play it by ear. I'm in a very conservative environment, so people tend to keep to themselves more.

[Girlyboy]

Thaks for your cohersiveness.... Fiend! :)

[Meresa]

Welcom back Girlyboy! Glad to see you are alive and well!