You've got mail

[Betsy]

Once in a while I get email that...that...just begs to be shared. If you would like to respond, I'll be happy to forward it to the sender.

So, with all identifying information removed...

---------------------------- Original Message ----------------------------
Subject: To each his own
From: CLxxxxxxxx@aol.com
Date: Fri, March 5, 2004 12:06 am
To: emailaddress@bodieslikeours.org
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

I do believe that each person that is INTERSEXED has the right to choose
there own sexual partner/choice. I do not agree with your belief that all
infants born with ambiguous genitalia are indeed intersexed. Nor are
people with CAH. Belief in your cause and preach your cause and do what
you must to fulfill your own needs to justify your choices in life.
(surgery or not) Let the people who want to choose what is best for them
make there own choice without prejudice pressure. What works for some
does not work for all. I am new to this type of agendas that are self
serving to a small group who want acceptance from all. It will not happen
and you cannot make it happen and in my opinion you are speaking TOO
boldly for the majority of people who are intersexed. If you are indeed
proud of who you are you would not have to preach for normal acceptance
of your body. The body is not about your genitals it is about your heart
and mind and soul. While you may be trying to teach that this is OK for a
person to accept there body in this form please be understanding enough
to accept the ones that choose not to want to be this way. Thank you
<name removed>
Too compare ambiguous genitalia to someone with a congenital heart
impairment is ludicrous. You can live with the one that is just a physical
impairment. You need your heart to WORK to live. Apples ? oranges


I have no clue what the writer is referring in the PS...I've searched high and low for that comparison but have come up empty.

[Betsy]

Ohhh...forgot to add that the writer is main guardian of an IS baby (CAH).
Betsy

[Billie Q.]

Originally posted by Betsy
Ohhh...forgot to add that the writer is main guardian of an IS baby (CAH).
Betsy

Quick, someone call CPS -- that fruitcake is crumbling![insert "crazy-face" smiley here]. Yes indeed, the "voice" of Bodies "speaks TOO boldly" on behalf of IS people.

Thank goodness for that!

Also, the postscript comment assumes that IS people DO NOT suffer any health problems as a result of IS; we all know this to be untrue, as in the case of CAH.

The writer continues in the same vein of twisted logic; saying that you need the "heart to live," and assumes you do NOT need a clitoris or a micropenis "to live."

The writer more than likely read that comment comparing IS to congenital heart failure elsewhere; however, GelSoft allows a keyword search in all forums. I'm sure that keyword search turned up empty here.

[Meresa]

Originally posted by Betsy
Ohhh...forgot to add that the writer is main guardian of an IS baby (CAH).
Betsy

Thank you Betsy. My heart and prayers go out to that baby.

[Dana Gold]

This person's post is full of contradictions. Accept but reject?; choose but deny? intersexed, but not really? IT will not happen.......CANNOT live like that.

Main guardian? What happened to the parents?
quote:

"be understanding enough
to accept the ones that choose not to want to be this way"

Is this person talking about his/herself, or is he/she making the choice for the infant?
This person exhibits fear of the "dreaded disease" of intersexuality:eek:

What's going to happen to the baby??
I'm quite sure that the infant will be well "taken care of"............whether it will want it or not........what will this person say to the infant when it grows up and finds out (it is inevitable):
"I know NOTHING" OR "it's all in your head"......
This answers a question I used to ruminate about: what happened to intersexed babies in medieval days?
"You can live with the one".....BUT NOT with the other "monstrosity"

So "fix" the baby, already, so you don't shudder whilst you change the babies diapers ! AND make sure your lies are believable and you don't "shy away" from the child ...AND for God's sake don't tell the neighbors!!!!
Psst: "there's a freak of nature living over there" :eek:

This scenario p*sses me off! I can understand that some people will want to not be regarded as intersex and want to be "fixed".....but if this person expects understanding, then accept the reality that some of us don't like being fixed and maybe not proud, but want to live with dignity as an intersexed human being.....not hide and cower from the rest of the world!!

Fear, shame, secrecy??:rolleyes:

[Betsy]

While I don't know the writer personally, she posts often on another forum that I am a true gadfly in. Surgery on the baby in her care was definitely done for benefit of the adults, not the child. See CAH Surgery (http://www.congenitaladrenalhyperplasia.org/mb/index.php?msg=0324311922&forum=main) for an idea of the thinking. I'm not going to reveal who is who but you will likely be able to figure it out.

Even though the message is dated 3/5 I only got it last night as it went to a very rarely used email address and I only downloaded it from the server last night. I'll be replying back today and will likely refer her back here to see that I am not unique in my thoughts.

Betsy

[Dana Gold]

I deleted this post. I said enough in my previous reply.

[Glenn]

'no situation is so big you can't run away from it.'

And I echo Meresa's comment - gods help that poor baby.

Glenn

[Dana Gold]

My (over-reactive and rash) rant in the first reply to the CAH baby post was triggered by the thought of a parentless child and the fear and s/w camouflaged aversion ( of being IS) displayed by the guardian of the child. I apologize for the harshness of my words.... I don't blame the guardian, knowing that society has ingrained fear and shame (of those who are of sexual ambiguity) into most, even into those of us who are IS. I'm sure it is a very difficult situation for any parent or guardian to deal with, as it is for any any IS or (excuse me) medically/physically -compromised person. But it is sad to think of the child's future with the underlying possibility that the lack of parents, shame and secrecy associated with CAH, and/or gender variations/sexual health will all coalesce to form a stigma/trauma " time bomb" which the child (in later years) will be left to confront and deal with ALONE.:( :( :( .....but then; what do I know about it all?....except:
The truth hurts; shame and secrecy devour.

[Betsy]

The writer is grandma...I'm not sure of how that situation evolved.

Betsy