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View Full Version : End the Shame!


cougar9q
03-18-04, 11:51 AM
The writer in the "You've got mail" kinda reminded me to write what I was going to write, which I should have done earlier....

The following maybe biased, illogical, and may reflect my insecurities in relationships.. But in what ever you think about it, just "take it with a grain of salt."

Do people really fall in love with a person? I am going to attempt to look through different "eyes."

Let's say that I am a heterosexual female. Do I like a "guy" because I really love him, or do I love him simply because he has a penis? You get my drift... Just apply this to all other hetero, homo, bi, trans etc., intersexed relationship scenerios....

I the majority of the time am attracted to females, and sometimes I find that I am attracted to males..

I don't have a "functioning vagina" and don't have my big clitoris (due to infant surgery) Do I have to right to have a relationship with a female when I myself don't have a vagina, or even a male?

See I feel so undeserving to be in any type of relationship because I feel like such a fraud. I am angery that I was operated on without my consent. I am angery that we live in a society inwhich I must fit into a rigid, ridiculous sexual dichotomy.

One of the reasons why I seek to find "acceptance" is because I have been rejected. I am a reject.

I am lucky that I wasn't finished off at birth. Now I have to live with the consequences. Now it's time for me and others to unite and find a "common acceptance" of one another.

We need this "acceptance" from ourselves and society because it needs to be acknowledged that a mistake has been made. The mistake didn't come from the doctors; this "critical decision" came from and still comes from our Western society. I could go on and on about other past societies acceptance of us but that would take a long time. What I am trying to say that in order for a change to occur, drastic actions must happen; a revolution even…..

We (or “I”) have to speak bluntly and so loud because no one will listen to us if we simply whisper. It’s easy for me to say from the safety of my home…. That is not enough…….Once you influence minds, you must take action…..and I don’t know what that is…..and I am afraid to take any action outside of my “box.” It’s time to end this horrible shame and secrecy… And that’s what I am hoping to lessen someday.

Betsy
03-18-04, 01:07 PM
We (or “I”) have to speak bluntly and so loud because no one will listen to us if we simply whisper. It’s easy for me to say from the safety of my home…. That is not enough…….Once you influence minds, you must take action…..and I don’t know what that is…..and I am afraid to take any action outside of my “box.” It’s time to end this horrible shame and secrecy… And that’s what I am hoping to lessen someday.

And when you are ready, let me know and I will find an organization (probably PFLAG or the local queer group) for you to take that first step with.

It's like coming out of the closet but a million times more intense because it means talking about *gasp* our genitals and other very intimate parts of our lives.

Cougar, it is posts like yours that gives meaning to this community--thank-you.

Betsy

Glenn
03-18-04, 01:59 PM
Beautifully said!

I've concluded that people form relationships with each other for three reasons.
1) to continue the species
2) because it feels good
3) out of love.

It still amazes me how many people get involved with each other for only one of the three reasons, but there's nothing wrong with that, either!

I'm getting ticked off at this whole binary gender concept too, I just haven't got a supportive environment from which to do much about it.

*sigh*

Have to run back to work; maybe more later.

Glenn