"psychological scars" and managing fear

[Sofie]

Dana wroteMaybe this might be better to discuss under another thread if it continues from my post.
Done :)

how does one manage displayed aggression and potentially violent "Gorillas in the Mist" such as described by Peter
I try to avoid places where I can get into trouble. It's something I do almost without thinking about it.

While fear often can be disruptive and hurtful, I experience it as something positive and useful too, fear protects me from getting hurt. I don't see it as something I have to overcome or something I'm supposed to fight against. It's an integral part of me.
Why do some people claim that overcoming one's fears does make you a better person? Maybe it just makes you more useful for their purposes.?
Learning to respect my own fears has given me a more peaceful live and the ability to feel and respect the fears of others (hopefully).

Sof i e

[Dana Gold]

Both Jules and Sofie make very good points:

Managing and overcoming fears as in: certain irrational phobias and of challenging one's life problems has value and is a useful tool for self-confidence and self-esteem, as well as happiness.

However:

Controlling one's fears while surrounded by predators does not guarantee that one will not be "eaten". It's best to avoid "lions' dens", especially if one is a zebra.

I feel everything in life is situation-dependant; one singular approach cannot be "across-the-board" applicable to all life phenomena.

As for me: It doesn't shame me to be afraid to enter "hot spots" and I'll use another metaphor, since life is a "two-way street"......I'm a "zebra" and I hate being around "lions"(and "gorillas", too!!) with their stanky:mad: breath and disgusting/aggressive behaviours. Both my fear and disgust in such a situation significantly decreases the probability of abuse and/or injury and assures my well-being.

Dana

[Jules]

I just wanted to say that I think to contribute a lot of wisdom, and I injoy reading your posts.:D

[cougar9q]

I agree with Sofie about the "Fear Factor"

Just like many other things in our life that we are either born with, or have to deal with need this "fear." Without stress or "fear" one can not grow. Just think about it. What if you never feared anything in life? How would that affect your growth both inside and out? We can not simply give fear the value of a tumor to needs to be taken out. This fear is not a foreign parasite that takes over our body-life, it comes from within. So that we it needs to be contained or used it is the choce of oneself. Yes at times fear is overwhelming, but in the big picture it is needed to progress that life, and not to endanger it. Balance is the key to fear and happiness.

I am happy. With all of my insecurities, and such I am a happy individual and also and fearful individual. I am fearful not for the sake of my life, but for the quality it...

Monica

[cougar9q]

change "we" to when, and the last "and" to a......

still sleepy


Monica

[Az1]

"psychological scars" and managing fear .

I have not been on a hole lot,I have had death of loved ones this month bewilder me. Trying to step forward and not reel back into the
psychological scars. I have been here and it is not a happy place.
Dealing with myself in my life and life has been not very enlightening.
I have always wanted to hide from myself and not have been ever to identify with myself as to who I am. "hard stuff"
This site has helped me understand that I do exist.
I looked for others to help me understand but all I got was useless information.
I have went to the ones I feel most comfortable with and talk to but I am always thinking that this may be too much for these individuals to comprehend.
As for fear I am fearful of others , I do not go to unbalanced areas and I do not entice a situation.When I do get an irritable individual who wants to provoke a situation I leave.

az1

muhoe

[Dana Gold]

Az1:

Sorry to hear you are feeling bad; I sent you a PM (some links); and this post is a reminder to check it, because I don't know if you'll see it when you "come back".

Take care

Dana