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helpingafriend
05-23-04, 05:18 PM
Hello. I am new to your site and new to using message boards, so please work with me. I am also new to the concept of the intersexed, so please excuse any P.C. errors. They are totally unintentional.

I live in a small southern town in South Carolina that all but exemplifies every stereotype you may think of. This is one reason I have looked to the internet for help.

I have a friend, who although I have known casually for years, I have just recently become close to. Although I have always assumed that she was a biologically "normal" female who just happened to be homosexual, I have now learned that she is a hermaphrodite. And she is experiencing a lot of difficulties that I am trying to help her with. She is a fairly simple person intellectually speaking, so I have offered to help her with a search for answers.

My friend was oppressively raised female. She said she has been miserable her entire life. She now has a more male persona, however is of course still known as female in our town. Although I have never seen her genitalia, from her description, she has "no female parts" and an organ that somewhat resembles a very small penis. She does have breasts, but otherwise has a pretty masculine body structure. Although her family will not discuss her "situation" with her, she is not aware of having any sexual assignment surgery or anything of the sort when she was born.

Considering her situation, she has done well for herself, although she says that it has only been recently that she has realized that she isn't like everyone else. I find this hard to believe considering she is 25 and has been sexually active for years. But I have tried hard to just listen and not ask too many questions that she is not ready to answer.

Aside from the emotional issues, right now she is more in need of medical advice. She is experiencing hormonal changes that are causing her a deal of discomfort and confusion. Hair growth, mood swings, changes in her anatomy, etc. Things I would have called a sort of "puberty" except that she is 25 and should thus be past puberty. Although she has discussed desires for surgical removal of her breasts, that is benign right now. Her idea is that she needs to find some sort of hormonal (testosterone) supplement to ease some of her suffering, but I am not sure. She has contacted the only local doctor that would speak to her, but was told that the doctor had no advice and didn't know how to tell her where to start.

So I have come to the internet, and thus your site, in an attempt to find people out there with experience in this condition, both medically and emotionally, and who are not closed minded, ashamed, or embarrassed to discuss it.

Doctor referrals, literature referrals, or personal experience and advice would all be greatly appreciated. Right now we are swimming in the middle of the ocean with no idea as to which direction land may be in.

Thanks in advance!

Sunshine1
05-23-04, 08:08 PM
Has she gone to an Endocrinologist ? Maybe someone at Tuomey Regional Medical Center in Sumter could recommend one. Also, you could try the Med School at the University of South Carolina at Columbia. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't believe that USC at Sumter has a Med School dept.

A lot of large "normal" clitorises do resemble small penises. Ambiguous genitals or baby girls (pseudo- hermaphrodites) with only female chromosomes, internal female organs with no testes that are born with a small penis that they actually void through are something different and a delight for the medical community to ponder. Plus, you can die from lacking the hormone needed to supress the excessive androgens because those are the same hormones that a person needs to deal with physical stress. Also, there are true- hermaphrodites (w/ a mixture of ovaries/testes) which may or may not have ambiguous external genitals from my understanding that come under the umbrella of intersex conditions and these plus many other intersex conditions that your friend would only know that she had by the help of tests from an Endo.

If she is someone that is just "normal" and wants to transend ( is that the right word ?) to another sex, I'm sorry but I don't know anything about that. I did work with two transexauls and I couldn't imagine them as anything else than how they presented themselves.

Good Luck