How to deal with overwhelming emotions

[Sofie]

How do you deal with rage? Sometimes when I think about, what people have done to me, I feel rage and anger and I don't know what to do with it. Getting drunk just gives me a hangover and cutting or burning makes people stare at me and causes other probs.
When I read about other people who have experienced similar *things* emotions become almost overwhelming. It's feels like I'm sitting in a dark room and suddenly the light is turned on and I can see my life in another perspective.
Sometimes I try to imagine what I would do to those people, if I met them today. Most likely I wouldn't even be able to say a word.

Sigh
Sof

[Jules]

I would suggest gardening.

Weeds are a pain!

Feel free to take all your fustrations out on them.

There is something healing about getting your hands dirty.

Yanking weeds out by the dozen, step on them and watch them die a slow

death, you will feel better.

Talk to your plants, they are great listeners and they will thank you for

pulling out those nasty weeds.

I also find that talking to yourself helps.

I have also learned to deal with anger by breathing long deep breaths.

I think of my anger as a light in my chest, burning to get out.

As I breathe deeper and slower, I think of my anger slowly comming out of

my breath untill I feel a type of peace about myself.

If that does not work, I read about the sinking of the Titanic, or something

depressing, which somehow, I don't know why, makes me feel better. If I'm

at work, and I'm really pissed, I have been known to shut the cooler door

and scream! :aargh:

:smash:

[Shodan]

Keep up the gardening and I will scream!

Very metaphorically correct though... my head hurts, it must be deep, Lol

I get too sick trying to get drunk, I'm only little! I usually medicate it with an unhealthy supply of caffeine and CHOCOLATE!!!

You can NEVER go wrong with chocolate... unless your diabetic... or allergic... or don't like chocolate... but other than that its fine!

Oh and a punching bag helps!!!
Love my punching bag!

[Dana Gold]

Dear Sofie,

I have found that the following are bad friends : Jack Daniels, Bud Weiser, Jose Cuervo and a host of other androgynous alcoholic "beverages". Hurting oneself : take cigarette butt and burn me, hit myself in face or head I have not done for years, but I come down on myself psychologically, mentally cursing myself. Needless to say, these are anger turned inward, when external stimuli ( life's cruelty, ignorance and b*llshit) trigger internal stressors, which send me heading toward the triad of anxiety, anger, and depression. In times of "pain" I grab a pillow or other "expendable" inanimate object (old magazine) and "rip into it"....my energy is expended upon these objects instead of myself. And sometimes I just cry, when depressed. I find helping others, as I do here on BLO, to be of great help, not only to offset my own stressors, but to find a value creative comfort zone (not just a crutch!). Doing things that make oneself feel better about one's existence is part of the self-healing that restore sense of worth. I used to take looong bike "hikes" early week-end mornings. Exercise is purported to help re-channel pent-up energies. But most of all, having a friend, a friend who does not leave us feeling as if we are "on the outside looking in"....I think you can understand what I mean. Last week I was talking with an acquaintance who acknowledges my "gender identity" and regards me as a friend, but when I started to relate my pubertal years and some pain I had experienced from physical and sexual abuse, she tried to console me, however referring to my "condition" as a "deformity". Although I know in my heart she meant only well, it still left a slight bad taste in my mouth. I then mentally went back in the past and some of the present and began to feel as if I can never really be a part of this world. Freak of nature in childhood.......hiding and "faking it", now just a "transsexual".....a "wanna-be", a pseudo-human being. And it PISSES ME the f**k off that since childhood I have not been left to determine my own sense of self and have been under the "correct and control" of idiotic sh*ts who knew nothing of what kind of human being I was and am. Having been (and in some cases still am) treated as anything from a joke to an abomination of God from the *&%$#@ s who proclaim normalcy and righteousness. And out of fear and self-loathing, tried to live "normally" and screwed up my life further. And yes, Sofie, I know that feeling all too well. Say good-bye to your "alcoholic friends" (as I must do to mine) and leave your heart open to perhaps finding "true" friendship ( I have a very closed heart. ) When you feel that you want to slice/burn yourself, find someone to talk to....even yourself ( I do that). Buy an old teddy bear....sew on features and alter it to look like someone who hurt you...then beat the stuffings out of it. Or sew on some "genitals" and you then perform some "surgery"!...I"d like to inject it with "hormones" till it "leaks" .... Please, please, I am not advocating violence, just an avenue to vent some primal feelings that are gnawing at your guts and brains, as they have gnawed at mine. If I lived in your area, I would bring over a couple of "teddies" or those sand-filled plastic blow-up clown things and we could have a little "party"....then go out to a nice little sidewalk cafe and order some TEA and Danish pastries with ice cream.

Anyway, I do feel better (I had a sh*tty weekend) now, thank you, dear Sofie for posting your hurt so I could have an opportunity to not only offer some help but to vent some also.

Dana :whipg:

[Sofie]

hi all, :coffee:

thanx for the replies and the PMs.

I believe that with time I may get used to these feelings, after all, they ought to be a part of myself.

Destroying things isn't much fun for me. I've tried meditation. Once I started crying and couldn't stop (nor did I want to), I cried for almost two hours I was told. Punching and yelling at my pillow makes me feel like an idiot. :biggrin:

A last remark about *self-hurting*.
The strange thing with burning or cutting is, it doesn't hurt. As soon as it hurts I stop. And I don't want it to leave visible marks. I don't see it as anger turned against one self, it's not as easy as that.
BTW there are a lot of activities that would do far more damage to me, like eating at a MD or doing certain sports.

Sof

P.S.
[FONT=Courier New]Keep up the gardening and I will scream! [/FONT]
Ok, I'll do the gardening and you scream. :happy45: :aargh:

[Dana Gold]

"eating at a MD"

A McDonald's, Sofie? What are those like in Denmark? I once went to a McDonald's in Hawaii some twenty years ago, and they were serving Teriyaki burgers and rice dishes then (at exorbitant prices, evrything expensive in Hawaii)

PS: My landlady (at the household where I rent a room) has told me that I have yelled out in my sleep sometime ( I get nightmares) and I've cried myself to sleep at times.

Dana

[Shodan]

Ahem...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!

Your turn!

[aziatic]

Hows it goin,
Anyways I've noticed that when I'm down, a nice doobie and some music will temporarily relieve the pain. Unfortunately, its illegal in the states, but it really seems to help me more than any anti-depressant pill or of the sorts.

[Jules]

Sofie, it is just fine for you to be you. You don't ever need to reproach yourself because everybody hurts. Suffering is a human condition. Maybe you just need a hug now and then, well this is the best I can do :grouphug0

[Meresa]

FWIW when I am in a bad mood I go work out. Do some laps on the track, work the SitupMaster, etc. Get some cardio going. The endorphin release does wonders for my mood. I don't know what you have in Denmark but we have a great rec center here on campus for such things.

Hope you feel better soon!

In the meantime I'm sending more little mermaid hugs your way. :)