Sunshine1
09-26-04, 10:06 PM
I was at the local upscale suburban mall one weekend and I was in the crowded food court minding my own business getting something to eat from Manchu Wok and taking a seat way down the corridor near Mrs. Cookies. This androgenous older teenager comes up to me and asks, "Is it OK to ask you a question?" thinking that she wants bus money, I go "OK."
It wasn't bus money but rather she points down the corridor to her friends and asks me, "Do I think the one in the hat is male or female?" Thinking it was a group of girls and because I couldn't see that close , I said," Female." but I wanted to say neither. It turned out that the girl that was wearing the hat from the movie Cat In the Hat was a guy with excellent cheekbones and they were disappointed that I didn't make the right choice.
I've often wondered since then if it was random that they asked me in my keds,shorts, and polo shirt w/blond hair at the time that question or if it was something that they could just sense that I was like them which would be cool too.
Gender is a game and sex is a game that we all play. Upon telling straight men about how my medical condition of CAH caused intersex characteristics of my external genitals due to lack of cortisol...blah...blah...Anyway, they are mostly interested in what cortisol does for the body to help me with illness but also I can't tell you how many straight guys imediately told me that they were bi-sexual and it was me telling them about my condition made it so much easier or men that didn't care meaning weren't threatened but instead "That's different" and "I LIKE YOU ...PLEASE, LETS GO HAVE SEX!" Kidding with that but it didn't turn them off from sex either.
I would never be considered a tomboy THE Blending of both genders but rather very specific in my female gender and likewise when I need my male gender to be expressed. Surgically altering the external doesn't change who you are. I was the same before and after the surgery. My sense of self is in the female realm and I am grateful that I was at a hospital that did the best at the time and did child psych evaluations which for me is as close as possible for consent. Even though I have PTSD from all their medical residents, I feel they did the best possible and it is no accident that one of their members is now on the ISNA board.
What does get me upset is when I read about genital surgeries and which bathroom to use is made to be point in doing the surgeries. I was at another mall by the ocean ( I get around, I like to shop ) where across the street are million dollar homes and yachts in the back yards and this mother followed me into the restroom with her kid (a boy) but it really doesn't matter what gender the kid was because what mother would let any child stay outside alone in a public area while she went into a restroom? "Sit there!" She told the boy and he did on the couch while she went into one stall and I went into another. I can go on, surgically altered for gym class. It makes me sick to read that one. Please, I had a nurse bring that one up to me also and really I'm not against surgery but don't make gym class a reason for it. I would of liked to of had an extra math class instead standing around in gym class waiting for my turn. Really, I got enough exercise after school riding horses. Or the point that someone needs surgery so they don't wonder if they are a boy or girl? I remember what I was born with and it was just something that I voided out of ..really nothing more than a micro penis that had the texure of a clitoris---AMBIGUOUS ---- but as a child it looked like a little ballon that would enflate when I went to the bathroom did I look at it and ponder boy or girl? "No" because my sense of self came from internal not external. Surgery was necessary sooner or later for my period and for that surgery is wonderful but for as far as going in to what restroom? That's insulting because it's more of a reflection on this individual needs surgery so we can stomach her existence poor, shameful, creature and we'll make a breeder out of you yet rather than we are helping a patient with a genetic condition just like any other patient.
Aimee
It wasn't bus money but rather she points down the corridor to her friends and asks me, "Do I think the one in the hat is male or female?" Thinking it was a group of girls and because I couldn't see that close , I said," Female." but I wanted to say neither. It turned out that the girl that was wearing the hat from the movie Cat In the Hat was a guy with excellent cheekbones and they were disappointed that I didn't make the right choice.
I've often wondered since then if it was random that they asked me in my keds,shorts, and polo shirt w/blond hair at the time that question or if it was something that they could just sense that I was like them which would be cool too.
Gender is a game and sex is a game that we all play. Upon telling straight men about how my medical condition of CAH caused intersex characteristics of my external genitals due to lack of cortisol...blah...blah...Anyway, they are mostly interested in what cortisol does for the body to help me with illness but also I can't tell you how many straight guys imediately told me that they were bi-sexual and it was me telling them about my condition made it so much easier or men that didn't care meaning weren't threatened but instead "That's different" and "I LIKE YOU ...PLEASE, LETS GO HAVE SEX!" Kidding with that but it didn't turn them off from sex either.
I would never be considered a tomboy THE Blending of both genders but rather very specific in my female gender and likewise when I need my male gender to be expressed. Surgically altering the external doesn't change who you are. I was the same before and after the surgery. My sense of self is in the female realm and I am grateful that I was at a hospital that did the best at the time and did child psych evaluations which for me is as close as possible for consent. Even though I have PTSD from all their medical residents, I feel they did the best possible and it is no accident that one of their members is now on the ISNA board.
What does get me upset is when I read about genital surgeries and which bathroom to use is made to be point in doing the surgeries. I was at another mall by the ocean ( I get around, I like to shop ) where across the street are million dollar homes and yachts in the back yards and this mother followed me into the restroom with her kid (a boy) but it really doesn't matter what gender the kid was because what mother would let any child stay outside alone in a public area while she went into a restroom? "Sit there!" She told the boy and he did on the couch while she went into one stall and I went into another. I can go on, surgically altered for gym class. It makes me sick to read that one. Please, I had a nurse bring that one up to me also and really I'm not against surgery but don't make gym class a reason for it. I would of liked to of had an extra math class instead standing around in gym class waiting for my turn. Really, I got enough exercise after school riding horses. Or the point that someone needs surgery so they don't wonder if they are a boy or girl? I remember what I was born with and it was just something that I voided out of ..really nothing more than a micro penis that had the texure of a clitoris---AMBIGUOUS ---- but as a child it looked like a little ballon that would enflate when I went to the bathroom did I look at it and ponder boy or girl? "No" because my sense of self came from internal not external. Surgery was necessary sooner or later for my period and for that surgery is wonderful but for as far as going in to what restroom? That's insulting because it's more of a reflection on this individual needs surgery so we can stomach her existence poor, shameful, creature and we'll make a breeder out of you yet rather than we are helping a patient with a genetic condition just like any other patient.
Aimee