Quote:
Originally Posted by short311fan
I'm now scared to death, as if i just opened Pandora's box or something..... ah well, i'm getting answers, and that's what's important, right?
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I just went back and re-read the entire thread (to refresh my memory) and I will say this about "answers" - they don't always make things easier.
I was put up for adoption as a boy and my adopted parents tried to raise me as a boy - bad idea! - didn't work - LOTS of conflict. I spent the first 40 years of my life thinking I was a MtF transsexual with some "hormone issues" (never had "male puberty", modest female development) but being from a small rural town (country quack doctor) and poor, the "problem" was never investigated. To make a long story short, when I was 40, I met my birth mother and, with what I learned, pieces started falling into place and a lot of the weird stuff from my childhood and adolescence started to make sense. (I wont go into details - long story)
I can not describe how incredibly ANGRY I was! Even 17 years later I get so angry I start to shake! (It is a good thing I never met Dr. John Money when he was alive - I might be doing "25 to life" for Murder 2!) I was/am angry about being lied to by people I trusted, about having things hidden from me "for my own good" while I was tearing myself up inside trying to figure out 'whats wrong with me?', for my medical problems being ignored so I wouldn't find out the truth. In some ways, I think I was better off thinking I was a MtF. (The only "good" thing is that at least NOW I am being treated to prevent further bone density loss from life-long low hormone levels.)
Are "answers" the most important? I don't think so. What is most important is your medical health and emotional happiness. I wouldn't say "Ignorance is bliss" but I would say that answers can really throw a monkey wrench into things.
Keep us posted on how things go. We care and we are always here to talk.
(I wish this forum was around years ago when I was trying to come to terms with everything!)