[Kailana]

That is kind of a bad title, what i mean is, if she knows allready that some things arent happening, the normal cycles of female developement/maturation aren't occuring, she is going to seek answers on her own, possibly with a doctor who has no knowledge of her medical history. And when she does, she may get incorrect information, or be in a state of serious depression just waiting for answers that she will not understand easily.

What i see so far is that she is a she, your sister, regardless of what she has. I think you might ask Miriam for a bit more advice. She has a great deal of understanding, talk to her.

Now then, from my perspective, your sister is going to eventually find out. If your not aware of this, i mean when she goes to the doctors. When she starts looking for answers and they are slow in comming. Then there may be some serious depression, possible suicidal thoughts. If she is alone when this happens you may lose her. I don't think your parents are thinking about all the possibilities, of what may happen when she finds out the truth. I tend to think it is a great deal better if your entire family tells her now. I think she is allready wondering, If you all keep this from her for much longer, it is going to turn out badly. That is something i really fear for you and your family.

I believe you mentioned that you don't live all that close to her. Another cause for worry to me. I know i have spent a great deal of time, isolating myself from family, even friends, feeling like i am not even human. I really hate saying that, but when i was in my darkess moments, i felt lost, betrayed, almost as if i was nothing, and didn't deserve to live, as a consequence i attempted suicide twice, and fortunately lived.

You do not want that to happen to your sister, it may never happen, she may be a great deal stronger then i am. i hope that she is. i hope that your there when this happens. What i am saying, is that she is going to find out, sooner or later, I believe it's going to be alot sooner then you and your family may be prepared for. That is what worries me most. If you are too late, if you keep this secret for too long, There is a high probablity that your going to lose her.

Talk to you parents, they need to understand, that for anyone with a condition that is disturbing, hard to accept, surprising, it can be extremely detrimental to a persons pshyche. There own identity can get lost in depression and worse. Normal thinking patterns change when depressive, things like suicide, self harming, harming others, odd thoughts that would normally never happen or occur, do with traumatic information. I believe that finding out your IS, is perhaps one of the most traumatic experiences of my life. I know there are many others who post here who feel the same way.

i don't know what else to say, other then perhaps talk to your family before your sister, you all need to get together and talk about this openly. If your parents still feel that it is best to not tell your sister, then ask them why, and let them know she is going to find out. And repeat alot of what i typed above. Because she is going to find out, if your family truely cares for her, they need to be there when she does. If they aren't there, if they aren't willing to help her understand that she is there daughter, that she is a girl regardless of what her chromosomes say, and that they love her, if they arent willing to share there own knowledge, or even that of what dr's advised them to do. Then your sister is going to have a lot harder time, feeling she is accepted, loved and cared for.

I almost feel lost now with what to say. Please be carefull, i see a dark future ahead for you and your family. She needs to be told, before she finds out from a Doctor who doesnt know about her, your family. if she doesnt go to a Dr. who has knowledge about her, it is going to turn out bad for you all. She needs to be told before she seeks answers on her own.

A lie no matter how good intended is still a lie, it hurts, it destroys, it confuses, and it shatters all trust.