[Rycharde]

Thanks Amy!

Whatever it is it's something right? Well the endocrinologist will take me about 4 months to get into see. By then I'll be a month after giving birth ( at least ) BUT Because I had so much success with breastfeeding in the past (not to mention it makes my breasts go away when I'm done) I'm going to go for at least 3 months of nursing for my little guy.

What I'm hoping for is that nursing does not effect the tests as much as being pregnant does.
If it turns out that I do need cortisol and that it will even out some of my issues then I may feel stable not taking testosterone for a while. I want to actually hold off taking the testosterone as long as I can because I am firm advocate of breast feeding. (the breastfeeding diet-lose all your baby fat in 6 months!)

I understand how a lot of people can really misconceive the idea of transgenderisim in intersex individuals who wish to be male, despite a dominantly female genetic structure. Well I'm not changing anything really. Just making up for what nature left out.
I'd be changing a lot to try and make myself female, I'd need breast implants, I'd need to do something about the broad shoulders and get electrolysis, take voice lessons so I don't sound so fake as a female, learn how to be a girl...that would be very difficult for me. Just the way I sit, walk, gesture, it's all male. I'm not changing anything. I've always been a man. I've also always had a vagina. Not such a big deal I say, in my mind, I've never felt less because of it. I just feel very left behind because I started to become a man at the same time as all my friends and then just...nothing.
That's why I need my testosterone... I just want to be who I am without being forced to examine the option of being a woman.

Well either way I know a few facts. My genitals, my coma, my seizures, my ups and downs that seem more physical than mental, many things that just seem out of place for a 24 year old XX person.
Things I really want to get a handle on.

I also agree with you that needing cortisol IS about Health, not gender.

I honestly think that in either case, I'd still be on the same path, have the same feelings and the same needs. I've been a boy since I can remember and I've Never associated my health issues with my gender issues until recently.
It's interesting now that I am learning about it.

All I want is to be healthy and to be able to continue to mature into an adult, physically. Which means, for me, becoming more male.

I'd like to note some differences I've found with myself and the majority of the trans population. First off I love having babies, second I love having the ability to breast feed them. I've never had any wish or need to remove any of my female parts and I do love the way my body is. Noting that I am very masculine to start with.
If I had a feminine body and gender I assume I'd love being a woman. Just that I was gifted with a masculine gender and masculinized female body that I feel more in tune with my male self. I am on a gender borderline, I do embrace and cherish my female qualities.
I find myself to be very attractive and I look very young for my age. I think I'm perfect. Well when I'm not pregnant, but my baby boy is perfect!

I think maybe transgendered people are not happy with how they are born. That is why I avoid ID'ing as TG as much as I can because I am very happy with how I am. Except for my health issues and the sudden stop in my pubesant development I am extremely satisfied with who I am.