[Kailana]

Hi there.

I see you are trying to do your best, and it is likely you may be doing what is best for your child. I actually really hope everything works out.

But, as i am one of the very angry people who doesnt agree with what my parents allowed doctors to do I really have to say this.

Just because your child has a functioning testes, and has a Y chromosone, does not mean that he will grow up to be happy as a boy. There is a possibility that he may be quite happy and have a pretty good life as a man.
On the other hand, what if he isnt happy? I ask this only because doctors made fairly clear to me as a young teen that i wasnt a boy. The constant asking if i was happy as a boy over and over made it pretty clear to me that something wasnt right. Each and everytime i told them i was miserable i was ignored. Each time i told them and my parents i usually got a response "your just a silly little boy" from my parents. My family pediatrician actually told me i was female but after he talked with my parents and called me back into the exam room, he wouldnt tell me anything else. I am not technically what people would expect, I am XY/XO to make it simple some of my Y chromosomes went wondering off and some anatomically female things developed. At birth i was like your son, Thought to be a girl, all the male things were still inside, hypospadis like your child too. And much like your child i looked like a girl, my early medical reports tend to say female, she, her in them because that is what they saw, only later to have everything repositioned and lowered. I however do not identify as a man and never will. I didnt find out tell 22 that i was intersexed. My family wasnt so kind or caring as you seem to be. from 22-35 where my worst years imaginable. Constant depression, several suicide attempts, another forced surgery without my consent at 31 years of age. I am now 36 1/2 and am transitioning female, I am one of a few intersexed people who identify as both intersexed and transsexual. I consider myself transexual not because i am transitioning now, but because as I see it. The gender assignment to make me male as an infant is what makes me transsexual. My gender, the way i was born was altered. I know many intersexed don't really like to think of there reconstructive surgeries to feminise or masculanise there genitalia to count as making them transsexual. I however do, I am a true hermaphrodyte, with both ovaries and testes, two complete sets. <<<------ That is my gender, that is how i was born, that is what makes me what i am and drives me to be who i am.

What i would like you to truely think about is that if you allow your child to be surgically assigned as a boy. Lets say as a teen or as a young adult, your child says he isnt a boy, but is a girl. Will you be able to accept that? Will you be able to comprehend that your child may not ever come to accept the choices you are making now for him. I am asking, only because the love my parents once had for me, i know longer feel, there actions pretty much prove just how much they don't care for me. In all the things i say or do or what i read in your post. I want you to know that i am not judging you as a bad parent. I think your sincerety in caring for your child is awesome. I just hope that down the road, should your youngest not be happy you will have the same understanding you now are sharing with us. Because there is nothing worse then coping with the fact that your parents don't care for you. That there words when they talk to you only causes more and more pain. that there little snips, critiques, judgements just whittle you down more and more.
I hope you will have the same love you have now, should your child chose to change there gender later. It is just a possibility, I am definately not the only almost male, who disagrees with the gender assignment forced on them as an infant.

Best wishes to you, your child, and your family. I really do hope your child is happy. But many IS children grow up only to be very miserable, for many different reasons. I hope what you are doing now works out for your child. But i fear your child will grow to be another one of the miserable people who struggle day after day with what they are.

Good luck.