[Kailana]

I want to congratulate you on your sincerety. For a great many of us we have a great deal of trying to express how we feel. The initial shock of finding out we are different has many downfeels.

As I allready had a great deal of Gender Dysphoria before actually being diagnosed, I felt even more ashamed to let anyone know. I kept everything private and felt as though anyone who ever would meet me would think me freakishly weird. For many of us discovering we are IS, and then getting so little help from the medical community to help us understand what we are makes it even harder. If there are issues with surgery, like not knowing what exactly was done, what we actually have, or questions why we were changed from a girl-boy, or boy-girl. There are so many things that just compound doubt. If family is not open and honest then there are also issues of trust and feelings of betrayal. All which lead to a fairly unhealthy feelings of shame and loss of self confidence. I feel that not knowing is worse then knowing. When a person knows the reasons for the way they are there can be some resolution. But if they arent aware of why, then only selfdoubt.

I am happy to see that you are there for your friend/signifigant other. But i do want to say that, Gender does not mean anything. A intersexed man, who thinks and behaves as a woman, does not mean he is attracted to men. or vice versa, a IS woman, who thinks and behaves as a man is attracted to woman. Some do, some don't. There are no specific guidelines to assume any preference one way or the other. Who we love is just as varied as the rest of the population. Yes there are some conditions that tend to have higher averages then the norm towards homosexuality, but that doesnt mean that someone who has that condition will be homosexual, bi. transsexual or any other variant. Perhaps it is best to say that your friend/SO is still finding out what he is, or even what she is, or what they are. There is nothing that will say for certain until he has found himself. If you care for him then keep caring. Just continue being there, in time, he will open up. it might help to keep reassuring him that you dont really care one way or the other. That you care for him regardless of how he acts, dresses, or whatever, is what will help most.

Now then i hope none of that is cause for discouragement. Because there are so many variations on how a person can chose to express themselves some may have issues with crossdressing, and the like. I hope you will be understanding enough and accepting enough should your Signifigant other, want to try things out. Sometimes just having a caring open partner who accepts the little oddities that make us who we are is all that is needed to come to terms with what we are.

Best wishes